I and my husband live dont live in our home town my mother in law is living there alone . She has already?

Question

spent a lot of money on the house which was not necessary at all I feel that we should save money and as she is living all alone in that big house i dont see the point in maintaing so many rooms spending like hell for wardrobs and all .it is a known fact that me and husband are never going to go settle there hence i feel that its wastage of money but if i say this to my hubby he gets annoyed he never understands that i want the good of the family . we had a fight no. of times over this issue i dont knw wht to do

Answer 1

What your mother-in-law does with her money is her business and what home she wants to live in is her business, back off, or your husband will resent you.

Answer 2

You did not mention who owns the house and whose money your mom-in-law is spending. If it is her house and if she is spending her own money, let her do it. If your mom-in-law is all alone and she is keeping herself engaged in some activity, and if your husband does not have any objection then let her do it. I think you should relax and should not make this an issue. Let the old lady have her way and you be goody with your husband, which is most important. Concentrate on your children. Your infighting is going to have great effect and influence on the children, on their childhood, studies, career, future, etc. Today when your husband comes home, receive him with a smile, give him a good cup of coffee or a drink. Present him with a small private & romantic treat. Also suggest a visit to mom-in-law's place during the week end. Don't forget to shower your mom-in-law with praise for the great work she has done to the house and don't forget a personal gift to her too. See the magical difference. Cheer up dear.

Answer 3

I'm not seeing what you are upset about. Unless, the work being done on his mother's home is being paid for by your husband. Now, if you aren't paying for the work, why should you have ANY input or say in what and how much work is done? It sounds like you are upset because she's spending money now, and you somehow feel that she should be saving the money so that you and your husband will get it when she dies. Now, if this IS the conflict- you ARE wrong. Her money is her money, and she should spend HER money as she wishes. Nobody has a "right" to an inheritance. I doubt you'd be happy having his mother, or anybody else trying to tell you and your husband how to live, and what you should be spending your money on. If you wouldn't like somebody doing that to you, you shouldn't do that to somebody else.

Answer 4

It is none of your business , on how your mother in law spends her money!!!!!!
I am 60 years old just went thur a divorce after 37 years of marriage. My children don't understand why I want to keep my house. I owe them no explanation. I don't ask them why they live where they live. They do no pay my bills, they do no help me keep my house up. When my husband and I were together they came up and helped him trim bushes and open up the pool. I don't ask!!! I do it myself. I worked hard for this house. I saved for the down payment, I paid for the lot. My ex only worked 33% of our married life. I hide alot of the bad stuff from my kids, (should have not done that) He now lives one block from youngest sister who he has been having affair with for 10 years. (Just friends) I lost enough , I was not going to give up what I worked for all my life. I love my neighbors, and friends . I have 6 bedrooms and 3 baths for me and two dogs. A lot of house, but I love it and I will stay here as long as I can take care of it by myself. If I have to take a reverse mortgage on it to keep it up later in life that will be my business, it just means the kids won't get as much. Who, says I have to live in a cracker box so they can have a big inheritance. STay in your home and help her out sometime without being ask. Support her decision to be independent. She may leave you a little more money. I am going to leave money to the child that supports me and helps me without being ask. I am not going to do as my mother in law did. She divided it equally. The son that did nothing for her over the last 30 years got the same as the one that mowed the law, painted, fixed up her place and made it so she could stay in her home all those years. I do not give people something for nothing. And you deserve nothing for not respecting her wishes and supporting her.

Answer 5

Maybe his plans are to return someday and start a family there. Which is why she is spending money on the house. If you are not going to be happy with a good husband, caring mother in law, and a beautiful home, divorce him and send him our way. I have a wonderful daughter who would make him a good wife....

Answer 6

Then I would say stop telling your husband that you think his mother is wasting money on her house. It's none of your business anyway. If she wants to spend all of her money maintaining the house, that's her business. What are you afraid of? That there won't be any left for you to inherit after she dies? Drop it. It has nothing to do with you, which is probably why your husband gets irritated when you bring it up.

Answer 7

Sounds like your mother-in-law can take good care of herself by what you say.If there is money being wasted it's your mother-in-law's money and not yours or your husband's.Stay out of her affairs and let her live her own life. If a time comes when she no longer can take care of herself then let your husband (& his brothers & sisters if he has some) decide what is to be done.Trying to control your mother-in-law's lifestyle is only asking for more trouble in your marriage.Look at your husband's point of view. He doesn't want to get in between his mother and his wife so cool it because things will only get worse and your marriage will fall apart.

Answer 8

I am confused. You live in another town, your mother in law lives somewhere else, has a home, is spending her own money to maintain it and this is your concern......why? Unless this is some sort of cultural issue, I don't see why you should concern yourself about what someone is doing whether it is your mother in law or not. Get on with your own life and home.

Answer 9

It is the mothers money and NOT yours. It has nothing to do with the good of the family other than you keeping out of someone elses business.

The good of the family right now is for you to stop meddling.

IT IS NOT YOUR MONEY.

Answer 10

Do you mean that you own the house that she lives in? Other wise, what would be your reason for caring about her business? I don't get it.