WHAT IN THE HECK IS WRONG WITH ME AND HOW DO I fix it?

Question

Okay I am a procrastinator.

And I am also a student...this is a very very bad thing.

Now I know youre thinkg "well thats what most students are...as long as you get it done eventually youre OK"
But heres the thing.. I DONT GET MY WORK DONE.

I AM SO HORRIFICALLY HORRIBLE THAT I FLUNKED EVERY SINGLE CLASS LAST QUARTER AT COLLEGE.
And I dont really drink, or smoke, or party or whatever, i just dont do my work.
Im not motivated to do it, i know that isnt an excuse but i really WANT to do good.
but i dont do it!!

Can someone like, yell at me and scare me and motivat eme PLEASE!?
I dont know why I am so crazy and destructive, but it would probably also help to mention I stay up wayyy too late doing nothing and I shop way too much.

I wish they had a prescription for this version of STUPID PERSON!!! =((

Please help, any words will do...unless theyre UNHELPFUL words that dont have any constructive mean-ness.
Then you can just kiss my sneaker...because i really need help.

Thankyou everyone so far.

It is actually really inspiring to see many people understand and have views on this!!!
=D
keep em coming babes, I really really appreciate it.

Answer 1

Calm down, Hamilton, and let your Unca John have a little chat with you.

All those aspersions you cast upon yourself sound like they MAY have come from a parent. Let's go down the list:

I really want to -but don't!
crazy
destructive (?)
stay up too late and shop too much (as in QVC?)
STUPID PERSON
Can someone yell at me?

You write reasonably well, so you are not stupid. And, you are self-aware (know your feelings) so you seem "in touch."

So ...if you are NOT motivated to study, tell me, what ARE you motivated to do? What do you really, really love -or, alternatively, what do you really want to do with your life? Do you have any notion -any at all- of what you were "born" to be? The answer, "I don't know," by the way, is a perfectly valid answer, if true.

Here's what I'm fishing for. The aversion to study may lie in various areas:

1. You may be bored out of your gourd. It's not about intelligence -it IS about apathy, no "fire in your belly." In that case, you either need a curriculum and venue that stimulates you, or else to take a year off and do something else. Perhaps some academic testing to see what works best for you is in order.

2. Something important may have changed recently. Lose a romantic interest? Loved one die? Lose a lot of money or GAIN a lot? Do some self-checking and see what you come up with. If it is something of that sort, something sort of temporary,then pay attention to resolving whatever it is (you may need some help with that). Point is, it is a road block that can be overcome.

3. Is your aversion a way of acting out in terms of a family relationship, perhaps a way of asserting independence by doing what you want, which is "nothing" in this case. This is sort of like #2 only longer term and not as easily resolved with a "quick fix" that comes of simply recognition.

There may be other approaches to the blockage, but the above 3 should get you started. Consider 3 or 4 sessions with a good therapist to get through the self-study process faster. And be suspicious of any advice from the rocket scientists who haunt the hallowed halls of Yahoo Answers.

There is no law that says you even need to go to college now, or ever. Technical school is an option. So is the military (Coast Guard is great). So are the hands-on helping professions, such as physical therapy, legal aide, Xray tech, etc. And some of these are very good money.

I won't kick your butt for not studying, but I might whack you upside the head, as it were, for not doing something about the CONDITIONS that have RESULTED in the inertia that frustrates you so much. And I confess to some concern over your quick and easy efforts to engage in psychological self-abuse.

And now, your Unca John here, says to set the study problem aside and look at a broader horizon of what's going on in your life. Then, get back to me, won't you, with your findings.

Good luck!

Answer 2

I guess that the next question to ask yourself would be why do feel unmotivated? Do you feel that the classes you are taking are not worth it? Are they not challenging enough? Is there something else going on in your personal life? I would ask these questions and maybe go see a school counselor (if your college has one) or talk with an academic adviser about what you have come up with. The fact that you are asking for help is awesome because it means that you want to fix it. Fixing the problem now is essential because, believe it or not, employers want to know what your GPA is when you apply for certain jobs (a problem a friend of mine ran into) and it can influence what schools you can attend if you want to get a masters degree. Just find someone at the college you can trust, talk to them, and try to get help. You are not stupid and the fact that you are in college should tell you that. Have confidence and go kick some academic butt!

Answer 3

Then if you really need help, you should consider looking for better help than what you will gain asking a bunch of strangers on an internet forum. You are really blowing your future here in a big way, and don't seem to even care that you have a future. You should really look into getting counseling for awhile to find out why you are so apathetic, and how this behavior is serving you, it isn't really, but somewhere along the line you learned bad ideas that this behavior supports, and it sounds like pretty dependant behavior, like someone else is going to take care of you or something, and whoever you are expecting to take care of you might for awhile, but they won't do that forever, and when that day comes, what will you have in your life? You should take some time off from school for the time being, it's a waste of money to go to school, and just take up space there. You need to take a good look at yourself, and decide what it is you really love, and how can you go about making a future doing something you really love, and channel your studies with that in mind. If you are embarking on a course of study just because you think it will be a good living, or because your family is pressuring you to enter a particular profession, if it isn't what you want to do with your future, you won't be motivated in your studies, and even if you do manage to squeak by in your studies enough to graduate, whatever profession you enter, you will apply yourself with the same lack of motivation, and not be successful at it accordingly. If you are studying to be a computer programmer, when what you are really supposed to be is a chef, then you are going to be a really lousy computer programmer, when you could have been an awesomely successful chef. If you are actually in a situation where your family can provide an education for you, you have been offered a great gift that most people have to earn and take out loans for, and start thier lives out in debt for, so they have to be sure what it is they want to become, if they don't want to waste that opportunity. I don't want to sound hurtful, but if you want to continue with this sort of behavior, you will need to find yourself a sugar daddy, because that is about the only way you are going to be able to pull off a lifetime of acting that way. Not a way to gain respect from yourself, or from others, that's for sure.
I agree with John G. You aren't stupid, but you are way, unmotivated.

Answer 4

What are you majoring in?
It is hard to be motivated when you don't know or don't like what you are working towards.
If you have problems getting things done, set aside the same amount of time every day to study and do homework.
Here is the thing. You just have to do it. Whether you want to or not. Whether you are motivated or not.
You have to or you won't graduate.
If you fail another semester, they may kick you out.
If you get kicked out of school, it is much harder to get started again.
If you are this unmotivated, maybe you shouldn't be in school. Not right now. Maybe take a semester off and think things through.
Good luck.

Answer 5

me to :(

I find that organization sometimes helps me with motivation.

There are some cool sites you might could use for time management and to do lists that keep you organized and set deadlines, should check a few out.

Google Calender: very easy to set up your classes and add in HW assignments. Best calender out there. It really helps to visualize the week ahead of you. It can text message your agenda for the day to you.
https://www.google.com/calendar

Gradefix: Keeps track of all your classes, hw, and studying. Makes a schedule for you. If you fall behind it adjusts to compensate for your missed work.
http://www.gradefix.com/

Good to do lists(both can send you text message reminders):
-Remember the Milk: http://www.rememberthemilk.com/
-Gubb:http://www.gubb.net/

Here are some interesting articles that will help:
http://www.wikihow.com/Plan-a-Homework-Schedule
http://www.nextstudent.com/NextPath/NextPath-Online/blogs/students/archive/2007/02/15/top-web-tools-for-college-students.aspx
http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/2007/01/achieving-goals-by-improving-your-character/
http://zenhabits.net/2007/04/big-rocks-first-double-your-productivity-this-week/
http://www.sfwa.org/writing/strategies.html
http://fumbling-towards-geekdom.blogspot.com/2007/01/2006-productivity-hot-or-not-guide.html
http://www.pearsonified.com/2006/10/how_to_find_your_creative_zen.php

I realize these don't help with the motivation, but maybe they can help you understand the problem a little better. You just gotta figure out what method works best for you.

Hope something helps. Feel free to email me if you have any questions about these services or need something a little different.

Answer 6

Maybe you just are not ready for college. Instead of going to school, move out and try to get a full-time job making minimum wage and then see if you are motivated to go back to school to work hard and better yourself. Spending some time suffering in the "real world" might get you back on track.

Answer 7

There may actually BE a prescription for this sort of thing. I don't know. Have you discussed it with your doctor?

I have an anxiety disorder, and it sometimes makes me put off things because of the anxiety associated with them. So I'm perpetually skirting deadlines (but I do get things done -- usually -- with enough Klonopin!).

Answer 8

Sounds like you need to pull out of school get a job and start over in the nextcoming year, when you loss interest it is not good for you or others around you.

Answer 9

I have been in a similar situation.
Unfortunatley there's not much you can do apart from snap yourself out of it.
You have obviously realised that you are'nt achieving at college and need to do something about it. I suppose this is the first step. You need to WANT to snap out of it and you need to WANT to succeed in college, otherwise it is a downwards spiral.
I completely sympathize with you and im sorry i cant really help.

Answer 10

All it entails is a little self discipline. Take away all the things you do while you are procrastinating - e.g. your computer, and school yourself. That is all it boils down to. If you have ADD, then a diet with GLI foods helps.