Why should women be obedient to their husbands? Why should women be subserviant to the men folk?

Question

Why should men be the head of the house hold- the decision makers? Why do women put themselves down and other women down? I am curious. There is a lot of feminist bagging and its surprising how many women feel that they should be obedient to men - disciplined by the men in their lives, and I would like to know why?

TRex - Its too much. Men have more experiences than women - I worked for 20 years amongst homelessness all over the world and everybody's experiences are different - its a very broard statement. I would never ask permission of any man and I would never be in the company of a man who expected that.

Edit to Fathema: Women make tough decisions all the time - look at the abortion decision one of the toughest decisions a woman would make. I will let you into another secret - WE as in women are not girls - white slave owners did the same thing you are attemting to - they called black slave men boys - which was meant to take away thier adulthood and keep them in their place. You are 200 years to late with your girls concept sweetie

T-rex: In my country Australia we have these giant warehouses where people buy products to do their houses up - its in response to the DUI craze of buying old houses and fixing them yourself. These warehouses called Bunnings find that 65% of their customers are WOMEN (google Bunnings Warehouses). Also the property market went mad here and women made a killing buying old houses and doing them up themselves. Women in Australia are very independent and business savvy, there are lots of opportunities for women. You are talking about that awful concept Surrender - it was made fashionable by some burnt out, no self esteem woman - I think she wrote a book. I would never surrender to anybody - would you - come now be honest? And as for dominant men I prefer a equal partnership. I would never let a man be guardian of my assets much les my soul. If it works for you fab - but I am incontrol of my destiny, my decision making, my oppinions, my life experiences and my world and no reliant on a man.

Answer 1

Women shouldn't be obedient to their husbands, nor should it be the other way around either, at least in my opinion. I don't want to feel like I married a maid but someone with a mind of her own. However, if you read feminist comments' in here, they are usually about superiority.

Answer 2

This quite possibly may have been the way long ago when the man was the soul bread winner and women were made to feel powerless.
Unless you enjoy the feeling of dominance and submission and it is certainly within your rights to do so the there is no need to be that way.
In a marriage it is a union of equals . No one any better. No one hold authority.
There are moments when my husband holds a bit of power and at other times I take that role it's not to say that we are making the other subserviant though there are just some things that we have better control of than the other and one will take the lead. Neither ever has to ask permission for anything. Instead we keep open lines of communication and have a terrific lifestyle.

Answer 3

The oldest woman is the head of the household in my culture, and the origin of that was because it's obvious that the child is the mother's. I honestly think the world would be better if women worldwide were more like Cherokee women, but that's just me. If we've lived that way for thousands of years, why can't everyone else?
Mr, last I checked it was you Europeans who spoiled our social fabric. Don't be so quick to judge. Much of it is that religious stuff you brought over here, and I frankly think it's the most retarded religion I've encountered yet.

Answer 4

to be honest I think in this day and age in most western societies you find that this sort of thing does not happen any more, I certainly do not answer to my husband and he does not answer to me, if there are any household or parental decisions to be made then we make them together, I have a mind of my own and I am not afraid to voice my opinions and they are listened to and debated not just in my home but in my workplace and social circle as well. I do feel that women come to rely on men a lot in their lives and I am not afraid to admit that I would go to pieces should I not have my hubby by my side but that does not in any way make me a weak person and certaintly not the weaker of the sexes. I feel that sometimes these 'feminists' can take things too far and they want a complete reversal of the genders and that in itself would be wrong

Answer 5

That is a difficult and politically charged question.

Many women seem to be very happy being subservient. They are attracted to strong men who can command them (not necessarily with violence, but maybe just with force of will).

Sexually, I have never found a lover who doesn't enjoy being dominated sexually. Though in truth, they also enjoy being sexually dominant.

This may be the answer. Many cultures where women are seen a subservient are actually those where the women are very strong. I would never tell a Filipino woman what to do, and in the middle east, women run the household.

Japanese girls can be very obedient, but only in the right circumstances. When their culture dictates their role as being commanding, they are commanding.

The truth, relationships are not what politcs dictate and are actually come from our feelings of love (which have been shown to destroy our ability for logic), sex and general need for relationships.

Some women seem to mistake control for care and affection. Which makes them happy in the short-term but leads to long-term problems with that relationship.

The other complicating factor is that these days men and women don't need each other for the primary purpose of raising children, so we follow our feelings.

My advice, is be yourself. Be true to who you are. Then you will find a relationship that suits you. Some women need to be controlled, that is ok, I, as a man, have no desire to control a woman, so those woman are not attractive to me at all.

Some women like to fight with their lover all the time, so they can do that if they like.

The world is big enough for all the variety of human behaviour to exist and hopefully everyone to be happy.

Answer 6

well, a lot of it has to do with Christianity - such behavior is more or less a biblical directive. The other is practicality. A true home democracy covering all decisions is a recipe for chaos. Best to divide up the areas where one or the other has control as equally as possible, and then abide by the decisions he or she makes with a minimum of grumbling. But somehow, somehwere, somebody needs to have the last word on a given issue. Otherwise you might was well just flip coins.

Answer 7

I am faithful towards my husband. There is no need for obedience because he does not demand anything from me. When my husband wants something I am more than happy to provide it whatever it may be but he does not say "Wife cook me up a steak..." he says " Honey do you fancy steak tonight i have a real craving for it" if he want it he can have it. He does not say "Wife! Come here, lie down and make love to me" He says (Well that's between me and him a lady never tells) but its not a command that's for sure. When my husband wants his boots polished and shirt ironed he says " Honey could you give that shirt a quick iron for me while i polish my boots" I do very much enjoy being there for my husband but by the same token he very much enjoys taking care of me, if I say " I dont feel like cooking tonight could you make me spaghetti" He is more than happy too. If I say "Could you Iron that top for me while I wash my hair" He is more than happy too. I agree with you on a few points but the difference is my husband does not need to demand anything, and he is just as happy to support and be my strength as I he.

Answer 8

I think that a marriage/partnership would work much better if the people involved were equal partners. I wouldn't take to well with a husband or boyfriend that treats me like a maid he can sleep with and thought he had some sort of power over me. I cannot for the life of me figure out why men deserve to be the head of the household over women.

Edit to the people who are saying religion-
I know exactly what you mean. This one guy told me to "Drop out of that silly university and come be a housewife with me" Then he proceeded to tell me of how wonderful it would be to cook and clean and for him, and take care of his kids, and rub his feet after a hard day at work. And I asked him why things would have to be like that, and he started spitting out Bible verses at me. Then he accused me of wanting a penis, because I want a career.

Answer 9

it should be give and take
men need to be seen and in power to feel good it is tought to them from a very young age as well as just ingrained in the genes
where as women know that all greatest thing in the world to men is to be seen as great in the eyes of his peers and most importantly his wife with is why for so many years women were ok with being openly treated like children or something to be dealt with because when they were alone with there men they were treated as equals it was when they got a taste of freedom and self management via ww2 and factories that they became upset they did just as good if not better a job as they men but where told the men are back who cares if you don't have kids and are bored at home that is were you belong. but also women a incoded in their genes to see men as the ruler but with more men acting like boys well in to there 40s they want someone to but there big strong protector but have very few to chose from and with more and more non confuntational men giving up there manliness both sides are at a loss

Answer 10

I think the subservient attitude that (some) not all women have comes directly from religion. (We cannot discount religious beliefs, religion has been around as long as humans.) I remember reading a paper that was done some time ago. A man did a study of the relationship between women and religion. After studying Islam, and Buddism and being quite disappointed with its treatment of women, he thought, "Chrisitanity will be different." To his suprise the same mentality and treatment of women was prevalent in the Christian faith as well. Do woman adopt a low image of themselves through socialization and religion or is it natural to thier being? Nature versus Nurture? Conservatives will say all these attributes (subservience to men) are embeded deeply within a womans psyche........she can't help being the way she is.......ie. ever listened to James Dobson. I think nurturing and caring comes easy to most women but not all, there are to many variable in a person's life and differing life experiences to say that (All) woman are a certain way, and that applies equally for men as well. We like to lable everything, that way everything is neat and in its proper place. That concept works great for bills and folders and files, but not for human beings. God created women to be the helper of man. The word helper in the Hebrew is (EZER) this term is almost always used to describe God as our help. We must always remember that women was created because man was (alone) not lonely. He was alone in his humanity. Adam did not need someone that he could boss around in the garden to get the work done. The need of Adam was of someone with whom he could share his life with and become one with. Like God, the Son, and the Spirit (It is these three that bear winess in heaven.) God knew what he was doing. And sometimes we forget that when God created women he said it was "good". It this is not true than God is a liar.

The doctrine of submission or subjection in christianity is voluntary on the subject. A person cannot MAKE another person be subject to them, they cannot make another person submit to them........chrisitan submission is always voluntary. What the church has done is that it has created a doctrine of submission that applies ONLY to women. Most often the validity of a womans christianity or faith (in other religions to) is based on how passive and self-effacing they can be. This New Testament doctrine applies equally to men and women. Woman be very cautious.

Submitting yourselves (ONE TO ANOTHER) in the fear of God.
Wives, unto your own husbands as unto the Lord. (Eph 5:21-22)

Now who does that exclude?