Am I wrong for wanting my wife to sign a numptual reguarding my house?

Question

We will be married a yr in july, I might build it in sept. But befor I do I want her to sign a legal document stating if she divorces me she wont GET HALF of the house. This might be our end. Is it wrong to want this security? She states she doesnt want the house but Why will she not sign it? To prove. She tells me to trust her. but I dont trust anyone with half intrest in a $175'000.00 house. What to do? She says then lets get a div before I build it. Im like ok "kick rocks", am I wrong? Or do I need to just throw the dice and possibly lose my house?

Answer 1

I lost my house in a divorce, so i know what it is like..
Marriages need to be built on good foundations, just like houses. Trust is earned, and it seems somewhere you feel she hasn't earned it?... or , you have had a bad experience or fear one and projecting a future disaster .. You may be right.. but, then, you are now married.. depending on the state you are in, she may already have a legal right, especially if she is signing a loan for the monies to build, pay, or other in marriage now affecting the outcome..
If i were her, i too would question your motives fully.. It seems you may want out of the marriage.. but, want to build a house, she isn't to get.
think therapy??..
why not build first a firm marriage foundation..
rekindle why you married. You are fairly newlyweds..
deal with the deep reasons you have for this request..
I am sure she is hurt .. i would be too.
yet, since losing a home and everything i built 26 yrs. marriage in, there are NO guarantees in life..
Would this request too mean she have no rights in event you died?
what kind of marriage is that?
Both of you need to come to the table so to speak and meet together.. i don't suggest any big steps / plans made until resolved ..
the marriage is before a house.. it's all stucco and wood, but a marriage is built with trust , respect and love.. on both sides.
Someone needs to take the first step,and i think it's in your ball field since you are the one requesting this nuptial..
By the way, what else would you include in it? cause i don't think it will end there....
good luck to you both.. make a wise choice for both of you, not just the one.. or build two equal houses..
A house with discord in it is never a home...

Answer 2

Well.. logical you are NOT Wrong...however..
Emotionally.. you are WRONG....
Woman deals matter emotionally and Man deals issues logically......
So th ebest idea is that why not share half? She will foot half the bill and you the other half? This would be a better choice..as both are putting effort in the relationship and both are putting their money wher the mouth is..

If she does not have the cash, then the above options would be hard... and you will have to decide based on your gut feel how this relationship is going to end. Mind you if you ended divorce, it is NOT just your house is in question. However what ever assets and cash that you have in the Bank is of question. A house is a matrimonial home, therefore the division would be 50%, irregardless whether the wife contribute or not. The wife would have dee to contibute intangibly..by just being your wife...meaning take care ao all your needs so that you have the motivation to work harder for the family.
The next best thing to do.. is get married and forget about all these matters and issues.. if it happens tough luck if not bless that you have a good wife....

take care.

Answer 3

The fact that you want this prenupt tells me you do not hink the marriage will last. My wife and I got married when we had nothing. We had a sofa, a table and a guitar and the clothes we stood up in. If I had asked for a prenup she would first of all not understood what it was and secondly when she figured it out she would have wept. Your wife asks for your trust and then you don't trust her. Meantime your analytical brain says to you hey - if she won't sign then the future is rocky. If I was your Priest or your Pastor I would not be prepared to conduct the wedding. Are you sure you two are suitable? I read your question and I don't see the word love, cherish, care, happy. I see a contract. Break up.

Answer 4

Well, you're already married so what's yours is already hers too. In the state of Calif. and others, there's a thing called community property. If you bought a house before you were married but continued to pay on it after you're married and used marital assets, then it is prorated. What percentage that you paid on it before marriage is yours 100% but what percentage you paid together would be divided up equally. When my husband and I hit a bad time, he would threaten to leave me with nothing as he bought the house 6 months before our wedding. So I went to a lawyer and she told me all I could do and what I couldn't. If in doubt, ask a female lawyer as they are more ruthless in a divorce than males.

I also believe that a pre-nup is a plan for divorce. Had we had one, we would be divorced by now and not be as happily married as we are now. Think about it.

Answer 5

so youre already married to her and youre trying to get her to sign away on a house that you will be building in the future? Wow! throw the dice? youre already married to her. i guess you dont really love or trust her or the marriage. theres no way i would sign something like that AFTER i was already married. should she divorce you now, she'd get half the money you plan on building with wouldnt she? sad

Answer 6

Surely you aren't serious. Obviously do yourself and her a favour and get divorced now. There are more important things to worry about when building a life with someone, other than building a house and who may wind up with it.

Or... Is this a marriage for migration purposes only? In which case perhaps half-a-house is a cheap way in.
.

Answer 7

This question really pisses me off. If you don't trust your wife then you should never have married her.You sound so selfish. You are married, whatever is yours is hers and vice versa, your wife should be more important to you then a stupid house. you should go apologize to your wife for ever saying such a thing. You should be more concerned on making your marriage work ,not bring up stuff that will cause problems. For richer or poorer,in sickness and in health. Does that mean anything?

Answer 8

Honey if you owned that house prior to the marriage you don't need a prenupt for that. She can't walk away with your house in case of a divorce. My friend just got a divorce after 12years, she came into the marriage with her husband already owning the house, she moved in. Once they decided to get the divorce she had to leave, and she had to leave the Camper also because he acquired those things before the marriage. There was nothing she could do.

Answer 9

I don't believe in planning for a divorce (that's what a nuptial is). Either you're committed to your relationship or your not. If my husband did that (married18 years), I'd be down the road looking for someone who REALLY loved me. He could take his house and stuff it! I'd rather live in a trailer. You see, money isn't the issue, your relationship is. Do you want the house or your wife the most? If it's your wife, you'd better roll the dice.

Answer 10

If the house had been yours before you married her then you would not be wrong. Let me ask you a question, Why is it YOUR house? Why is it not HERS? What ever happened to OURS? If You can't trust her with YOUR money then how can you possibly trust her with YOUR heart? After all the heart is much more important thing than all the money in the world,also more delicat and fragile,I am sure you have broken hers.