I am a young wife and mother. My husband wants to cheat me from time to time. how should i live with that?

Question

He says he loves me and our baby but he needs to be with another women from time to time. Especially that now he is in love with a girl i know. He wants to be with her to feel somethig different that he has with me. I want to accept it because i love him very much and i don't accept a divorce in my life. I would like answers mostly from men to know their opinion. It is not a joke. I just want to talk to someone and hear other ideas.

Answer 1

You do not have to accept this behaviour. If he loves you he would not cheat on you, he does it because you allow him to. You should put your foot down and tell him that it is not OK with you. Look after yourself and your child.

Answer 2

I can not believe for the life of me that you would even consider his proposition........

Are you kidding me? I think it's fairly obvious that your husband has a very warped idea of "love" either that or he really is not in love with you.

The reason he's even had enough nerves to suggest this is because you're obviously extremely understanding and naive and he knows that too well so he thinks he can pull one over you.

So you DON'T accept divorce but you'll ACCEPT your husband having sex with other women and telling you he's in love with someone else?.......

What does divorce mean to you?.....How do you represent it in your mind?.......

Whatever meaning you've attached to getting divorced is what's making you willing to accept this situation......
I believe in making things work in any relationship or marriage .....when the two people in it want it to work and both have each others best intentions at heart.

I believe your husband does not love you the way you want to be loved otherwise you would not be having an issue with this......

Also how is his behaviour going to affect your children and their view of marriage if their father is involved with other women aside from you.

You need to find your self worth and make sure you get respect the way you give it. When you make it clear where your boundaries are and that you won't accept anything less you teach people how to treat you.

If you accept this then you're telling your husband that this is what you think you deserve........Do you?


Chi Chi x.

Answer 3

I am a jewish man, I would like to say to you first of all I sympathize with your circumstance, I cannot phathom how awfull you must be feeling right now, ofcourse if this is indeed what you are going through, I couldn't imagine why would you lie about something like this so I take it you are honestly asking for an opinion. My answer to you would be like this.... your husband can easily pass a vanireal disease to you or your children [G-d forbid] he cannot be trusted any longer you should not give in to his betrayel because you would be just as guilty as he is, don't let him extinguish the little light you have now, he is like a black hole which will suck
the life out of you if you give in, but you have a choice you may divorce him or you can pay whatever consequenses will come to you by staying with him. My answer might not be easy but it is the most rational.

Answer 4

Well I'm not a woman, but please take in what I have to say. You need to take a real close look into the mirror, it is clear that you have low self esteem and allowing him to do the things that he is doing and want to do, will do nothing but worsen your self esteem. You need someone in your life who is supportive, faithful, and true to your feelings; it is clear that he only wants what makes him happy and that is not how a marriage should work, nor a relationship. If you do not nip it in the bud now you will be a divorced woman, and by that time the feelings that you could have saved now will be much harsher. You may end up divorcing now if you tell him that its something you do not want, think of yourself and your child, what kind of example is your husband making for your child be treating you this way? What kind of example are you making for your child for allowing yourself to be treated that way? Don't be a fool, love loves no one, and you are a clear example of that. Walk away now from that situation, its going to do nothing but cause heart-ache and a bad environment for your child.

Answer 5

omg!!

first off, i am a girl and i know u want answers from men but you shouldnt be getting answers from all men!! a lot of men can be PIGS and say that this situation is ok!

IT IS NOT OKAY!! ur husband wants to be unfaithful??? what were his vows to you when u got married??? i know it says somewhere in there to be faithful always!!
i cant believe this and your stuck with this moron, he sounds like a total PRICK!

if i was in the situation, id pack my sh!t and be gone out the door with my child, let him go with other women as much as he pleases, but my child will not live through that mess nor me...you do not share your HUSBAND with other women, that is just sick!!

this has to be killing you inside, im sorry that this is what u are going through and that divorce is out of the question for you, but sometimes your going to have to accept reality and just do it...since he was totally upfront with you, then he's probably done this many times the entire time u 2 were together and he will always be like this, men like him will never change, no matter how hard you try!!

i hope everything works out in the end for you and you do end up leaving that creep, i know you love him, but he apparently doesn't love you the same or ENOUGH!!

good luck to you and your child!!

Answer 6

You don't. Any man who says that to his wife is not worth staying with. However, try this...look him straight in the eye and tell him "What's good for the goose is good for the gander." It means if he can have sex with others, so can you.

Now, if as I suspect, you are from a different culture, then simply find a decent lawyer and sue for divorce. You made promises to each other when you got married, and there are ways of 'spicing' up your love life without infidelity. Don't allow him to play mind games with you like this. As hard as it is to take this step...you need to or you will be very unhappy. Your unhappiness will be sensed by your child...and as the child grows up, s/he will begin to think this behavior is normal. Would you want your child to feel that way?

Answer 7

I am not a man, but I will tell you that you should quit thinking of yourself, and what it is that you might be ok with and think about your child. Your little one, should you stay, will grow up thinking that this is the way to be married, and that it is ok to stray outside of marriage. You say that you don't accept divorce - does that mean that you are to put up with substandard treatment from your spouse?

While I personally think that your husband is pond scum, not only for what he is doing, but for expecting that you will accept it, and that you need to get some sort of reality check, only you can decide whether or not that you can live with this.

But I think that you should first and foremost think of your child. Is this the kind of enviroment that you want the child to grow up observing and learning how to live with their spouse? Is this the kind of life that you would want for your child?

I wish you the best of luck, because I know that you can't help who you love. I would say however that you really really need to love yourself and your little one first.

Answer 8

I am sad for you. You should not have to accept that. If he Loved you he would not cheat. You deserve better than him. If you will not accept a divorce maybe stay maried but find another man to be with who will treat you better. If your husband can be with other women then you can be with other men. It is right and fair, and he has no arguments against it that are valid if he is to be allowed to cheat. Find yourself a good man.

Answer 9

Well, if your going to put up with it, why ask anyones opinion?? If you want to live your life like that with a man who has no clue to what marriage means, it is your misfortune. And out of fairness, I hope he allows you the same curtiousy of feeling a different man from time to time, because IF I was dead set to stay in such a sham of a marriage, I would be getting a little pickle tickle of my own!!!

Answer 10

Are you serious? Are you an American woman?Your lack of self respect is sickening and you should be ashamed of yourself for being such a fool.Your husband has you right where he wants you.He's a dick! Have you no shame? What kind of life will your child have? You would doom your baby to a life with this man? You need to see a shrink.(that's a head doctor in case you're not American) If you can't see what kind of life this is, than you deserve it. You're a disgrace! Go away!

Answer 11

I know you want to hear from men, but from another woman, a wife and also has children and has been divorced..you should NOT accept or live with that. You are not or won't be a good example for your baby when he/she grows up. Please consider this when you allow this bs to happen in your marriage.