baby by another man? but married?

Question

Please do not judge me just advise ,With this said I will tell you of my issue ,Thank you.I have been with my now husband for going on 8 years. Well last year we were having problems now I look back nothing major things if we would have just talked.I was a stay at home mother of then 5 kids and finacially and bored I got me a job.Someone I worked with I found attractive and later found out he thought the same of me.I dont know if it was attention from someone else that triggered it but I ended up cheating and this went on for about 6 months and I told my husband about it I seen how much I knew he did love me because he wanted to work it out so I quit my job and knew I had to do right by my family, A couple weeks later found out I was pregnant by who I do not know.The other guy knew I was pregnant and I had hurt him so much we ended up leaving each other alone on bad terms The baby is now born and I feel guilty that I do not know who the father is.My husband said leave the other guy out

My husband said he is the father reguardless and to just leave this other man alone but I feel as if he is the father would he have the right to his child. I love my husband and do not want to destroy my family so would I just hush and act as if nothing ever happen like that?????? I am so confused

Answer 1

Let things alone. Your husband is a good man

Answer 2

So you should listen to your husband, and leave the rest history. The child, like you said could be his anyways.
If you are wanting to do what is best for everybody, leave
it alone. Be glad that no matter what, your husband loves you. And he wants to be the father to this child no matter what. Your guilt is the price you pay, dont make your husband, children, and sweet new baby pay as well.
Your not deceiving anyone. You got away with it. Move on.

Answer 3

Well I think you should get a dna test done to see who the father is. It's something you should do to put your mind at east. Your husband should understand that a little bit. If you husband is the father than there won't be any issues in the future especially if you happen to have an argument. But if the other guy is the father find out from him rather or not he wants to be involved, if he doesn't want to be involved have him sign over his parental rights and have your husband legally adopt the baby. But if he does want to be involved make arrangements that'll suit you and him and your husband.

Answer 4

I would want to find out who the father was. What happens if, later in life, that child finds out somehow (we all know the past comes back to bite us sometimes)..how is that child going to feel? What is it going to do to that child?
What if later on, the child gets sick and needs medical information, family history or blood only the biological family can give ect. and your husband is NOT the biological father. What if this child looks completely different from the rest and wonders why, questions it??..are you going to lie to the child all it's life? You made a mistake, that child did not...and that child has every single right to know who the birth parents are...now weather or not they choose to be in their parents life or not are totally different things but they should at least have that option. I would never EVER forgive my mother or family if I was to find out the man who had raised me was not my father and I had a missing piece of me out there. I would never EVER forgive them either if they all knew or had an idea that my dad was not my "father" just because the life of lies that would have been told. Anyone can be a father but it takes someone special to be a dad. Get the tests done now, take care of it and work on things as they come....don't wait till it is to late to make it better.

Answer 5

You are married to a great man. He has a huge, forgiving heart and you are a lucky woman to have him still in your life.

Later in your child's life it may be necessary for you to know the truth about his "dad".. but only for medical reasons. For that alone you should keep track of where the other man moves to etc. DO NOT CONTACT HIM, just be aware of how to find him in a medical emergency.

But for now, love your kids, love your man and live each day like it is a gift.. can you imagine being a single parent with all those kids?

Make him a nice dinner tonight... He deserves a good woman because he is a good man.

Answer 6

Let it go, since you and the other guy left on bad terms and it was a bad sitiuation anyway. Do you want to explain another man to the child and your other children and the family? More then likely the child is your husband's anyway. If he is alright with it, then let it be. Don't stir up problems. If the other guy knows about the child let it go. If he doesn't don't tell him. If he does and comes around later asking about the kid, then worry about it. Let it go.....

Answer 7

IF you want your family to remain intact, then forget about the other man. His child or no, you have to think about your family. They come first. Take your husband's advice, he is telling you want needs to happen for the marriage and family to survive. Don't screw this up, your LUCKY you got a second chance.

Answer 8

Do what is best for the child. Talk to the other man (biological father?) and explain to him that if he wants wants to be a part of the child's life that he can. He has rights to the child if the baby's his. If he doesn't want a relationship with the child, tell him okay, but exchange contact information just in case he changes his mind or if the child wants to visit him when he/she is grown. It would make everything so much better knowing that you can always call each other up when something happens. Good luck and I hope things work out for you.

Answer 9

Unless the other guy pushes the issue I would leave it alone. You are lucky enough your husband is willing to work this out and raise a child who may not be his biologically. What more do you want????

If the other guy isn't pushing to find out then let the issue die and you two raise that child and give it a wonderful life. And be thankful everyday that you have a man who is willing to stick by you.

Answer 10

Just assume that your husband is the father. Let the rest go and get on with your life---building a life with this man and your children. You need to put that all behind you.

Answer 11

Your husband is the legal father of your baby since you were married to him at the time. I would follow his advice and accept things as they are.