i'm living in abusive relation ship i want to move back to my state i have a child by him it going to be hard

Answer 1

Go to this board. There are thousands and thousands of people on there. Whats the best way to get out, where should you go after, what services are aviable?
.

If You Plan to Leave a Violent Relationship: What Is Needed?

It is always best to plan for emergencies before there is one.
Plan how you will get away from the abuser or get help to come to you.
___________ emergency number to be called:

___________ transportation will be:

___________ helpers or supporter:

Which of the following items will you need?

Keeping those items in a bag or container away from home is best. AVOID using your purse or car.
___ Identification (driver's license, passports, greencards, work permits)

___ Birth certificates for self and children

___ Social Security Cards for self and children

___ Extra car, house, storage or other keys

___ Checkbook, ATM card

___ Credit cards, bank books, etc.

___ Address book/phone numbers

___ Food Stamps, Medical Cards, etc.

___ Car registration

___ Car, health, and life insurance papers

___ School and medical records

___ Divorce, custody, or injuction papers

___ Proof of income for partner (check stub)

___ Pre-paid long distance card

___ Home calling card (calls can be traced)

___ Copies of bills you owe with your partner

___ Change of clothes - self and children

___ Medicine and prescriptions (extra)

___ Personal hygiene products (tampons, toothbrushes, deodorants, etc.)

___ Diapers, formula, blankets, toys

___ Pictures, jewlery, keepsakes



Some Important Safety Tips

Remeber the danger may get worse during an escape, or after leaving a violent relationship.
Have a safety plan for as long as there is communication with/from the abuser and longer. Review it with a counselor often.
If you move, put the rent, phone, and utilities in someone else's name.
Make sure all locks (doors and windows) and lights (inside and out) work properly.
Install alarms on doors and windows. Install smoke alarms, metal doors, or other safety items.
Get an unlisted phone number. (Change old numbers if necessary).
Get an Injunction for Protection. (Call 1-800-799-SAFE(7233) for legal referrals/information)
Keep copies of Injunction oders at home, work, and in purse.
Have another person to deliver and pick up children if a judge orders visitation.
Use a post office box instead of a street address. Check it during busy hours.
Report suspicious things to police, file violations of the injunction as necessary.
Keep copy of divorce, custody orders, etc., at school.
Make special arrangements to pick up children at school.
Ask school to call about any unusual contact by the abuser.
Make the same arrangements with childcare/babysitters as above.
Have mail sent to the domestic violence center to be forwarded to you or to another safe place. Do not file change of address card with post office (it is not private).


If You Are Living With or Dating Someone Who is Violent

Because danger can occur at any time will you consider the following:

Yes/No

Practice an escape plan for emergencies _______

Go over it with a counselor or advocate ________

Teach children emergency and escape action and phone use________ .

Keep pay-phone change or a pre-paid _________

calling card in a safe place for self and children

Use portable or cellular phones, if __________

possible. Use noise-makers (whistle,personal alarm, etc.) to get help

Ask neighbors to listen, watch, and ___________

call police about suspicious people or activities

Let someone know if you feel violence is about to happen __________


When violence does seem close, avoid the kitchen, bathroom, and rooms without doors to the outside. Begin action on safety plan at any sign of trouble.


Call the domestic violence hotline to talk (1-800-799-SAFE(7233), get information or ideas, find a shelter, and/or make a safety and escape plan.

Answer 2

I know you are so scared right now. Every decision you make you are second guessing. But in your heart you know what to do. I just left a long marriage of verbal, emotional and physical abuse. I kept thinking it will get better only if I tired harder. It did not work. My health started fail because of the stress I was living in. My ex became even more abusive towards me when this happened. Each time he would go a little further. Until the last time by the grace of God I am setting here right now. I know what it feels like to almost think you are going to die at the hands of your spouse and I can tell you that it was a major wake up call for me. DON"T let it get to that point with you. I went to the police and he was arrested. It was the hardest decision I made in my life. but I finally stopped living the lie that I was living and I am starting to figure out who I am. A strong women. Most abusive men like strong women and try to beat us down. Get help from a woman's shelter right away. Go to a pay phone and get help from a batters women facility. Do not let him know what you are doing. Stay safe. These places will do everything to try to protect you. But you have got to have their support. Don't try to reason with him. It won;t work. Please stay safe. I will be praying for you. God Bless

Answer 3

Inform your ex nothing except the whole lot has transpired. In your new hometown, examine with a neighborhood attorney about what you are able to do to receive a restraining order there. If feasible, let your youngsters recognize as little as possible. Having to lie to a mother or father is an awfully problematic on children and places extra worries and stress on them. In case you have moved, married, and acquired that restraining order then have your legal professional ship him a letter declaring your alternate of tackle and provide an explanation for how his visitation rights have changed. You might also need to throw in a duplicate of the restraining order. Spell the whole lot out-go away no stone unturned. If all else fails, move to Texas and acquire a hid handgun license. My mom had to go by way of the same expertise (for this reason the declaration concerning the children....Expertise!). When we moved, matters in our existence have been for the easier. Pleasant of luck to you and your family on new beginnings!

Answer 4

Yes, it can be hard if he does not want you to take the child out of state. He does have a right to fight this. If he is abusive the first thing you need to do is get help to get away from him. Then contact an attorney and go from there.

Answer 5

tell your ex no longer something until each and everything has transpired. on your new homeland, examine with a community lawyer approximately what you're able to do to acquire a restraining order there. If a threat, permit your little ones comprehend as low as a threat. Having to misinform a determine is an extremely difficult on little ones and places extra concerns and tension on them. once you have moved, married, and have been provided that restraining order then have your lawyer deliver him a letter declaring your substitute of handle and clarify how his visitation rights have replaced. you could additionally desire to throw in a replica of the restraining order. Spell each and everything out-bypass away no stone unturned. If all else fails, circulate to Texas and acquire a hid handgun license. My mom had to bypass interior the process the comparable adventure (hence the fact on the subject of the little ones....adventure!). as quickly as we moved, issues in our lifestyles have been for the better. ultimate of success to you and your loved ones on new beginnings!

Answer 6

Yes it can be difficukt. Try to document the abuse and then move as soon as you are able. Do you have a custody agreement? If not, you can go. Go first and tell him later. If you do then the legal system is the only way out.

Answer 7

Please try to find a women's shelter to help you with this. Abusive situations are extremely difficult to get out of for so many reasons but you have to protect yourself and your child. You cannot do that without help and a protective agency. Do this as quickly and quietly as you can. God Bless

Answer 8

IF YOU ARE IN AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP NO MATTER IF YOU HAVE A CHILD WITH HIM YOU NEED TO GET OUT OF IT BECAUSE IF HE IS BEATING YOU HE WILL BEAT THAT CHILD. YOU NEED TO FIND A SAFE PLACE AWAY FROM HIM BEFORE YOU END UP KILLED OR THAT CHILD ENDS UP DEAD. YOU NEED TO THINK OF THE SAFE OF YOU AND THAT CHILD. NO MATTER HOW HARD IT IS TOGET OUT OF THE MARRIAGE BECAUSE YOU HAVE A CHILD TOGETHER YOU NEED TO RUN HAVE YOUR FAMILY AND FRIENDS HELP YOU OUT OF THE RELATIONSHIP BEFORE SOMEONE GET KILLED OR HURT REALLY BAD.

Answer 9

Seek help from battered women and don't look back.

Answer 10

First you put him in jail...then you RUN.