I am a single father with a 3 yr old lovely daughter. My wife expired 5 months ago.?

Question

My parents and all my relatives are forcing me for a re-marriage saying that my daughter is very young and it is difficult for a father bringing up a girl child & she would always require a mother when she grows up. Please advice...

Answer 1

5 months is not very long. You need to grieve. The last thing you need is to rush into another marriage to simply give your daughter a mother....what if it doesn't work out because you aren't ready? Then your daughter will have lost 2 mothers (not 1) and will have witnessed her daddy losing two wives.

Take things at your own pace. If you are ready, and if you want it, it will come. LEt go, let god, and trust in his hand and plan.

Answer 2

I guess the most important thing for you is to decide what kind of life suits you. If the main reason of getting married is for the girl to have a mother figure.. then I think you married for the WRONG reasons.
Taking care of your own daughter is difficult BUT not impossible. You will need to act as a mother figure as well for your daughter. In other words you need to be domestically savy as well..in doing housework etc.. All this can be learnt if you do not know. The most important to bring up a daughter is providing lots of LOVE, and SECURITY so that she will NOT feel any lack of love be it from the mother or father. You need to spend time with her and make sure that she is not bored. You will also need to think about child development, eductaion, taking care of her health in the growing stages etc..
All these is tough..BUT the rewards are REAL and very SATISFIED... YOu will NOT know or feel it..unless you go through it. The important part in the growing up is incalcate OPEN communication. This build confidence in a child. The child is allowed to pint your mistake, and give her that right. A child can OFTEN be correct, when you hear them out and LOOKING at their perspective..
Anyway .. too much of this...
Do what you feel is important for your daughter. Don't ever think that just by providing her a NEW mum would be the best answer.
The BEST answer is within YOU... and NOT others. BECAUSE you are the FATHER after all...

take care..

Answer 3

My wife died a few days after our daughter turned one. I would have liked to remarry, but I had to deal with grief first. I had help from both families, but I had also promised my wife that I would be the one to raise our child. She wouldn't take no for an answer. After grief, or at least when things were underway, I started dating. I found out that having a young daughter makes a single man attractive--but the women often seem to lose sight of the fact that you're a person. They're older too, and the biological clock is ticking louder. I got the distinct impression that I was seen as sperm-donor-with-paycheck. In some cases, there was no question about it.

I worked with a grief recovery group for years (widowed and divorced), and one piece of advice we always gave was that you shouldn't make any major changes or decisions within the first year.

To cut the story short, it was an interesting journey. I never remarried because I didn't find anyone I clicked with well enough. The teen years were rough, but we got through them. She has her college degree, we have a good relationship, and she's engaged to be married. I'm proud of how she turned out.

You can tell your family that you were advised by a ten-year veteran grief facilitator that looking for another spouse should be put off for AT LEAST a year, because it takes that long to get over the initial shock and even begin to start thinking straight again.

Answer 4

Well, it all depends on what u want. I personally think its just to early marry so soon . Its been only a few months that u lost your wife and i don't think u might want to marry so soon. There are so many men in this world who r single parents and they have brought up their kids so beautifully. I know it is difficult up a kid alone but tell me what if the second marriage doesn't work or what if the woman u marry again is not willing to accept the child or she ill treats the kids once she has her own. So please wait don't make any rash decisions and repent later. Anyway i personally think u should at least wait for a sometime before u take any decision . Don't let anyone force u to do something after all u r adult who can take his own decisions. Wait for some time who knows u may meet someone nice who understands everything. Please don't do anything in a hurry and repent later.

Answer 5

Only remarry when and if you find the right person...

Your parents and relatives can not force you to say "I do"...

A single father can do a remarkable job raising a little girl all he needs to do is put in some research time to learn about the milestones in a girls life he will need to help with (I.E. first period, getting a bra, understanding body changes etc.)

You don't have to do it all alone... For some situations you can choose to ask for the help of a trusted female friend or relative who can help your daughter through some of the rough patches involved in being a girl..

Practice saying "Back off, I will remarry when and if I find the right woman and not one moment before."

Then say it to those who are pushing you..

Answer 6

You will be just fine with your little girl all by yourself. If the day ever comes and when the time is right you will know if you will ever want to marry again. You don't get married for the sake of the child.....you get married because you have feelings for someone and that will bring stability to you and your daughters life. I am truly sorry about your wife and I hope you are ok? But.......no one should force you to get married just because they feel she needs a mother when she grows up. Many fathers do just fine with a daughter and you will to. You still have each other and she will be the light of your life and your reason to succeed in everything that you do!!! She needs you more than anybody and she only needs you to be responsible for her. You can do it!!!! Good luck sweetie.

Answer 7

Are you from a different country than the US? The last thing you need right now is to be forced into a loveless relationship. This is a time of healing for both you and your little girl. She is too young to really understand where her mother has gone but she surely isn't ready to be offered a substitute. Why don't you tell your relatives to step back and give you a chance to decide where your life is going from this point and take charge of your little girl giving her as much of daddy as you can. Your relatives can actually help you better by being there for you while you heal rather than creating additional stress. Talk to them about this, make your position clear. And best wishes to you and your little girl.

Answer 8

Please, there are single parents all over and if your a good dad and you love your little girl, then what? Nothing you will both be fine. You can fill both shoes. It will be hard but you can do it. It is too soon for you to have to go out and find some one anyway. Especially if the only reason you and your wife are apart, is because she passed. Your family is just worried and really only have your best interest for you. Just tell them NO and ask them if they are not going to be there for the both of you, your daughter and yourself and if they say no then just tell them you will find a friend that will be there for you. I don't think your family will. Just tell them that you are going to make it work for you and her both and all you need is their support and for them to be there for you and tell them that one of these days some special will come along and you will go from there. But don't rush out and find someone you have the rest of your life to find the right one. Your daughter will think none the less of you when she gets older and understands about what happened. Just let her know that you love her and no matter what the problem is she can talk to you. NO MATTER! MR. MOM... Good Luck and God Bless

Answer 9

5 mos. is not enough time to grieve. Gently but firmly tell your family that you are not ready yet and to give you the time you need. It would be much worse for you and your daughter both if you are forced or coerced into a marriage too soon to someone that is not of your choosing. Go to counseling. You will remarry when you are ready - your daughter will be just fine. Does she have aunts, grandmothers, etc.? Ask them to help out with the 'girl stuff' in the interim. There are plenty of girls that have grown up just fine without the influence of a mother around.

Answer 10

You really need to follow your heart on this one. Obviously you don't want to become involved with someone just for the sake of having someone to mother your child. You have a precious gift in your daughter and she is going to need a mother figure who will truly love and adore her. My advise would be take your time and find that right woman who will accept and love your daughter the same way that you do. And it may cause some problems with your family, but if you need to, tell them to back off and let you make your own decisions about your life, your daughter, and who you will marry in the future. You sound like a very caring daddy. Your daughter needs that kind of love from you. Good luck in the future.

Answer 11

To bring up a daughter of 3yrs old one is not required to remarry. It seems with in the short span (five months) something has already entered in the mind and want to go for remarry and you are giving the exquse of the daughter.
Suppose the new mother comes and she does not like your daughter or you become father again with a boy child and this girl child will work as a maid to your new wife and you may discontinue her education and you to keep your new wife happy the torture on the daughter can not be ruled out and we have plenty of example in India.
Anyway, you are adult it is up to you to live in heaven with the memory of your wife or stay in hell as a goody goody husband under the leadership of your would be wife simple for sex,.