I have recently gotten married and also find myself with lots of doubts. My husband gets e-mails and text messages from other girls he claims that they are old friends and nothing is going on between them. He also has a myspace account. On his page he talks about our wedding and has a picture of me, but he is constantly getting "friend requests" from scantilly clad women and messages from people I have never heard of. He states that the friend requests come b/c his page is set to private, but when I go to view it it does not say that on his page. He says that I am trying to catch him in something. I am so scared that I am being cheated on, but I also don't want to be falsely accusing him. How can I know for sure?
2007-05-06 15:52:51 · 8 answers · asked by katec 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You will know for sure without asking anyone from this site. You know this man well enough to decide fact from fiction, and it will be up to you to make your decisions based on what will make you happy if things don't turn out the way you'd like. Time is always in your favor, don't jump to any conclusions, and if there's any wrong doing, he'll trip himself up without putting any effort into it, because you won't be bothering him like he'd expect you too. Guilt will cause him to give himself away, and then you can have that serious talk about your expectations in the marriage, or just let him know that you can't except what's been done.
2007-05-06 16:15:16 · answer #1 · answered by msthinkpositive 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's going to be hard to find out unless you catch him in the act. But it sounds to me that these other women are nothing for you to worry about, you might have too much time on your hands to think that something is happening or might happen. Your Husband wouldn't have married you if he was interested in these other girls. Maybe he just likes the fact that other women give him attention. Make sure you give him all the attention he needs and I'm sure he'll be ignoring these other girls calls. Take one day at a time your still on your Honeymoon Enjoy!!!! P.S. Try not to let on right now that it bothers you, but if it keeps up for too long and you don't like it anymore you should let him know. Give him the how would you like it if I was talking to other guys and text messaging them. He might think twice about it.
2007-05-06 23:11:31 · answer #2 · answered by 24Special 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well... you really need to sit down and have a heart to heart talk with him. List your concern before you speak to him and also perhaps anticipate the amswers that he may gives that would make you feel uncomfortable, so that at least you would know how to response back impromptu.
In a marriage relationship, you need to be able to tell your partner your deep feelings and your fear as well. At the same token he also needs to let you understand why he is doing what he is doing. Perhaps he has been doing for ages.. even before he is married and met you and just felt that it is alright for him to continue if there is no objection from you.
Also you need to find out from him..WHY he is doing all these? And what pleasure that he can get that you cannot offer?....Or he needs multiple gf to satisfy him.
At this stage at least you know where you stand, and you can consider whether to accept this type of relationship OR otherwise..
take care..
2007-05-06 23:02:11 · answer #3 · answered by trymejames 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can understand like when you were dating that he would have text messages from girls and emails..I mean he wasn't officially "tied down," like in an official way..girl friends are ok..
Marriage is different in my opinion..text messages, messages, myspace..that in my opinion shouldn't be going on in a marriage..
By the fears you have..you may have trust issues. He gives you good reasons though too..be frank with him and say that it bothers you..if he doesn't get the hint or gets defensive..find someone that will respect your wishes and will avoid making you feel uncomforable. Your marriage is so new and I would hate you to live your marriage this way. Life's too short.
2007-05-06 23:05:15 · answer #4 · answered by beautifullybroken 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have a question for you. Has your husband ever given you a reason NOT to trust him? Has he lied, cheated in the past? It sounds like you have some major trust issues that may be deeply rooted. If this is the case, you should have never gotten married.
2007-05-06 23:08:27 · answer #5 · answered by truthislight 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You must both be quite young and your husband obviously was not ready to commit to an adult relationship. My Space is something that children relate to not real men who are married. I don't care if he has your wedding pictures up or not which seems just a little weird to me anyway, he isn't acting responsibly. Sounds like you are already on your way to counseling and should be.
2007-05-06 23:02:18 · answer #6 · answered by dawnb 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Does he email or text the women back? Does he take their phone calls and talk to them, or call them?
If he's texting, emailing, calling these women back then he's definitely crossing the line into unacceptable behavior.
I'm sure he wouldn't like it if you were getting texts and emails from other men..
2007-05-07 00:00:01 · answer #7 · answered by joe b 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Should have done your homework before you got married. Signs were everywhere if you looked.
2007-05-06 23:00:11 · answer #8 · answered by Sir Richard 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋