my husbands female friend, my friend too or not?

Question

I thought we were becoming pretty good friends, but one day she asked if I could watch her kids, 4 & 6yrs, same as my kids, while she moved. She didn't call or come back that night. The whole next dayshe didn't answer he cell. She called later & apologized & said "sorry, its taking longer than I thought, can they stay anther night?" I said "Well, I'm kinda tired & My kids are sick." She said "I'd really appreciate it & I'll pick them up in the morning." I said "whatever" & hung up. We didn't talk for months, she said she lost our #. Today she wanted to come over for dinner & movies. As soon & they got here, her kids asked if they hadcould stay the night. I said yes, cuz the kids love eachother! She had another kid w/ her when she came & immediately after dinner her cell rang. It was the other mother wanting her kid home. She said she'd be right back & didn't show up. 4 hours later I called her & asked "what's up" she said "i'm so sorry, I'll be there in the AM" Using me or what?

When she picks her kids up tomorrow morning for school what should I say to her? I'm kind of the quiet type & have a hard time speeking up, but I feel I should say something?!

Oh yea, my son & hers seem to be the BEST of friends. It's ok to still let them see eachother?

She did do me a favor once. She drove a long way to pick me up & take me to an appointment I had. Was she just luring me in to use me later?

Answer 1

Definately. Why dont you invite her over for dinner then, dont be there when she gets there. Go out for dinner. When she calls you, tell her you forgot.

Answer 2

First of all no husband should have a female friend when he's married. Second yes, she is using you. I had a long time friend who was an alcoholic and binge drank. So every chance she got when I watched her kid she would be out all night. And he would worry and I would make up things that she called and said he could stay over at times. I finally had to break away from her. This was after 3 years. My husband says I'm a magnet for leachy people. I thought I was being nice. You have to break away from that. I know it's hard because of the kids, but you can't go on like that.

Answer 3

Are you kidding me!? She is very clearly using you! And what responsible mother would ever just dump their kids off without making definite plans. Im not at all saying that you arent a responsible person to leave them with, but even just for the kids sake of mind, dont you think she would want to tell them ok guys ill be back in an hour, or ill see you tomorrow around 10 or whatever? Ugh, she sounds like a bad mom, and a bad friend. Not one that you need around. I imagine when these kids are teens theyll be the type to get in lots of trouble because of a lack of supervision, and you dont want your kids hanging out with kids like that anyways. good luck

Answer 4

She is using u to be a free babysitter b/c she knows you won't speak up or say no. Just tell her next time she asks that you have plans in the morning and she needs to pick them up that night. If she doesn't pick them up as you asked then you can be pissed. Right now, she thinks she has the upper hand, and if you let her make the rules, you'll lose every time.
You can say no every so often, and they don't need to spend the night every time they come over. Start setting rules with the mom, it sounds like she needs a reality check.

Answer 5

She is using you. but at least the kids are safe. Sounds like she is a flake. that is wrong of her doing her kids that way. What if something happens to one of her kids or her during one of these incidents? Will she sue you? Or do you know how to get a hold of some of her family? What ? What does your husband think? Is she a good friend of his or not? You need to talk to him about it too. Do you think you both could sit down with her and talk it over? Maybe she needs to have help? But I would be careful and not get caught up in some type of mess that might hurt your family or kids.

Answer 6

Yes you are getting used. Dont put up with it cause she will use you at any advantage. What kind of mother disapears without calling while her kids are at someones house? Next time she decides to take off and not answer till the NEXT day call CPS. You have a life and children too and what she is doing is rude and uncalled for.

Answer 7

Yes she is. Either start charging her for child care or tell her to find somebody else to do it. What happens if one of the kids gets sick or hurt? You might not even be able to get in touch with her. This is not a good situation for you to be in.

Answer 8

Most definitely! She's only coming around when you can watch her kids. I'd stop letting her come over, and only meet her socially in public settings - so she can't just dump her kids on you! See how that goes for a while before letting her and her baggage in your door.

Answer 9

Why is this chick your husbands friend? Are some of those kids his? Is he gone all night when she leaves her kids with you?

She sounds like a load. Tell your husband to start thinning her her from your social circle, or if your kids really love hers, meet them at her place on on neutral ground, like a playground.

Answer 10

Sounds to me like she is taking advantage of your friend ship,that is not thae way a true friend treats another friend, and I dont care if she did drive a long way to pick you up one time, a true friend helps you when you need it and doesnt expect any thing back in return. Thats why they are called friends.

Answer 11

YOU nailed,ed here., Learn to screen your calls by phone number recognition and don't pick up her calls so that she can't bring the kids over. Simple, to the point, and sets boundaries. She's a ****.