I don't do anyone any good where I am now. I don't really have any redeeming qualities and all I do is hurt people. I don't want to make them put up with me any longer.
How can I get away from it all and start over, completely fresh? I have to wait for a little while to get enough money together, and my plan is to move to Germany, change my name and begin again. But I need some way for my family and people I know here to adjust in the least amount of time.
I just don't want to inflict myself on them anymore. At this stage in the game we're all stuck together, and I hate knowing that I'm a total f*ckup and dragging them down with me.
2007-05-06 12:51:44 · 31 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I think you may be feeling a bit discouraged. Ok a lot discouraged. But your family loves you. Anything you do, anywhere you go is bound to hurt them. If you just up and dissapear one day, they will go through tremendous pain wondering where you are and what has happend.
Then they will wonder why YOU stopped loving Them!
Just talk it out with them. Say to them exactly what you said here and I'll bet dollars to doughnuts that they don't see the same problems you do.Then, once you realize what they think of you, you may find the problems you face aren't so bad after all.
2007-05-06 12:56:25 · answer #1 · answered by Mrs J 6 · 1⤊ 5⤋
You need to go for some counseling here because your words concern me.
If you were to take off and not let anyone know you will totally destroy the family especially your family. Haven't you even seen what happens to a family when a child is kidnapped and they search for years and years looking for the child that never comes home.
If you need to leave, then do it as a mature adult and tell people you are moving away. Once away, at least let them know where you are as you may need them one day OR they may need you to return should someone get really ill or die in your family.
2007-05-06 13:00:34 · answer #2 · answered by Patty G 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Here's what you do:
You have a couple beliefs here that you can work with:
"I am a frick-up."
"I just cause others pain."
You can probably find some more.
Challenge these beliefs using Byron Katie's "the work" method.
Go to youtube and search for her videos, and watch a few. You will see how "the work" works.
Go to her website (www.thework.com) and get her worksheets, then do them.
It's a method for accepting a variety of perspectives on an issue. As humans, we see things from one perspective. We have beliefs. Reality isn't limited to one perspective (no matter how many people may agree with it). Reality isn't about beliefs.
2007-05-06 12:59:54 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
WHEREVER YOU GO EITHER FAR OR NEAR BY YOU WILL STILL HURT YOUR FAMILY AND FRIENDS IF YOU DO NOT SAY GOOD-BYE. YOU WILL END UP THE MOST HURT BECAUSE DEEP DOWN YOU THEY LOVE YOU AND YOU LOVE THEM TOO. WHATEVER IT IS THAT HAPPENED IS IN THE PAST AND LEAVE IT THERE. MOVING WILL NOT MAKE IT DISAPPEAR OR GO AWAY BECAUSE YOU WILL HAVE THAT WITH YOU AS YOU START FRESH BY HAVING A NEW HOME IN A DIFFERENT CITY, A NEW NAME, OR EVEN A CHANGE OF COLOR IN YOUR HAIR. YOU ARE JUST HIDING FROM THE PAST. AS MUCH AS YOU ARE HURT, YOU NEED TO FACE IT AS YOU START A NEW CHAPTER IN YOUR LIFE, BUT SURROUNDED BY PEOPLE WHO LOVE YOU NOT STRANGERS. HOMELESS PEOPLE WOULD GIVE ANYTHING TO HAVE HALF OF WHAT YOU HAVE. A HOME, FOOD, CLOTHES, AND A FAMILY WHO HAS NOT LEFT YOU BEHIND REGARDLESS OF WHAT YOU DID IS JUST A DREAM THAT THOSE HOMELESS PEOPLE ONLY HAVE. WHY WOULD YOU DECIDE TO BE ALONE AND FAR AWAY FROM PEOPLE WHO LOVE YOU AND WILL BE VERY SAD WITHOUT YOU IN THEIR LIFE. THINK ABOUT IT.
2007-05-06 13:31:13 · answer #4 · answered by CONFUSED 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
#1 stop with the self-trashing!
#2 it's ok to move on
#3 disappearing is not a bad idea
#4 write a notecard, letter or postcard to your family
(at least let them know your intentions (and that you're alive))
#5 you are most likely NOT a f***up, so STOP IT!
#6 a major change might be best for you, but only if you let it work for you in a positive way
best of luck!
2007-05-06 13:06:19 · answer #5 · answered by mrlucky 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well you did not say what kind of things you do to cause them problems.
we all do this to our families and if that was the case we would all have to disappear.
you say you do not have any redeeming qualities, well let me tell you that we all have special qualities about us and we are all different in our own way and no one is better than you and no worse then you, there is good and bad qualities in everyone and that is a fact of life but we do not run away from it, there is professional help that you can get to deal with it, you can talk to your family about it , there are all kinds of options. you did not say how old you are but if you are young you could phone the kids help line, their number would be in the phone book and they could help. only you can change what you are f****** up and only you can change what you are doing to drag them down with you.
you are concerned about doing that to them so that shows you love them so tell them that you do not want to drag them down too and together you can talk it out on what you can do
you do not need to disappear, my god there are to many other options for you.
good luck and keep me updated. go talk to them and tell them how you are feeling.
2007-05-06 13:05:52 · answer #6 · answered by maureen s 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me that you need to make some changes with your life, and yourself. How old are you? Starting over and leaving your family only hurts them, and you, in the long run. Maybe you should get some therapy, and see if you can't fix this problem where you should start - with yourself. Call a therapist and get the help you so need.
2007-05-06 12:57:19 · answer #7 · answered by MandaMarie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no. You'll end up on their cell phone as Helga. And then they'll call you back. And then, when you get sober, you'll ask yourself why you ever even called. Then you'll call them back just to say you're alive.
I've done this. I don't remember what I was running from, But there was no love lost when I left. u can't run away. no matter how far you go. problems follow you.
maybe that isn't it...maybe you can never leave problems behind...I think that's what it is.
But never, and I mean ever, make someone elses problem your own.
Dam...I wrote another long Ans.
Luv ya
2007-05-08 06:08:07 · answer #8 · answered by FlatTyrz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well first of all your screen name, yeah the one on your avatar, your not that so stop it! second there is no way you can go anywhere without your family having some kind of emotional grief its not going to happen that way, I have been through it all,the pain and feeling unwanted, maybe it just seems taht way to you, I mean listen you just said yourself that they`d be worried, if you caused so much pain why would they be worried? and you dont need to move to germany dont do that, find other things to not exactly separate yourself but give you and your family space, dont make a bad decision because you dont know whats out there, or WHOs out there, everyone goes through bad things in their life, its up to you to find joy through your sadness and turn it around, do run away from your problems because if you do you`ll be running for the rest of your life
2007-05-06 13:07:55 · answer #9 · answered by cleanheart 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No and family no matter how screwed up want the family to stay together. You need to re group, Try a fresh start, exercise,yoga , Read this book The Secret by Rhonda Byrne, It is Magical. Good-Luck and be possitive things will get better. Hugs for you.
2007-05-06 13:02:57 · answer #10 · answered by hollie s 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Just say you are moving to another country to start over and how you think it will be good for you. You dont have to leave and never come back, so tell them to stay in contact, and that you will see them soon. Ask them to help pack and make you leaving memorable. You never no, you might get on track and move back willingly
good luck, it will and always does work out
2007-05-06 12:58:12 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋