I am 32 and working, wife is 50 and not working. Wife got sick although we did not know she was sick. I started relationship to another woman, 33 and decided to divorce my wife. Then wife got very sad, talked suicide, and it stopped my plans. I was in love with other woman and I was still taking care of wife. Then everybody got upset and both women told me to stop the mess and pick only one of them. In the meantime, wife got cured of her sickness but I love her less than before, I just care for her. Wife still claims she will die if I leave her. I am not sure what I want anymore. What to do in such a situation?
2007-05-06 11:28:56 · 11 answers · asked by wonderings 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Additional info: My spouse is nice, older, more mature but not great in bed. The other person is way too tough sometimes, but much more challenging, and very great in bed. I feel awesome with the mix of the two. But, I have to keep only one.
2007-05-06 11:38:54 · update #1
You're being stupid. Here's my take. Stay married. Take care of your wife, she's older and not well (not 6 feet under), and she is a human being too. Now you've put her in a situation where she had to determine whether you want her love or not, but she hasn't questioned your lame love for her, just your infidelity. She has told you that she refuses to live without you (also know as a vow "as long as we both shall live". Get a backbone and learn to love your wife instead of just yourself.
2007-05-06 11:54:07 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
From how I would see it, I would be devastated as Girl A if I discovered I was the casual relationship as you built up a life with another woman. Ultimately you should be true to your own heart and find everlasting happiness in a life long journey with one soul as your bride. It comes down to which girl you know will give you that life long happiness. Which one will always bring out the best in you? Which one brings a smile to your face just at the thought of her? Maybe take your time, stop seeing each of them seriously and build a friendship with them first. This would allow you to worry less about making an immediate decision and could help clear your head so you could make that choice when the time is right.
2016-03-31 23:49:12 · answer #2 · answered by Pauline 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please tell me you didn't stop loving your wife because she got old and sick,that is what it sounds like.You knew going in she would start aging years before you.This other woman had no business getting involved with you to start with.I don't think it's right what your wife is doing to you,playing the guilt card never works.When you married her didn't the words mean anything to you,you no the part that goes til death do us part,in sickness and in health.I'll say this again I think it should be illegal to get a divorce mandatory time in jail.5 x the days you where married. If your married for 20 years then you serve100 days.
2007-05-06 11:53:48 · answer #3 · answered by Teenie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your wife attempts suicide and she succeeds it will haunt you for the rest of your life, but that doesn't necessarily mean you have to sacrifice your happiness and life for her, she is being selfish, you were there through the tough times, she should be able to let you go. However, dont just leave her yet, obviously she has no self control of her emotions, you should help her by seeking a therapist together and help her overcome her negative emotions, maybe she has become dependent of you to the point she has lost herself and feels life without you is not worth it, do help her and do leave when she is better.
2007-05-06 11:37:57 · answer #4 · answered by just curious 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know is it allowed in ur religion to marry more than one or not?but any way I think it's your right to enjoy ur life as we're created to enjoy the life and not to be sad and you'll live only one time so take from life as you can but at the same time you've to respect rights of the others so try to talk with her seriously and tell her the fact that you love her less and if you continue you'll not be happy anymore..
2007-05-06 11:43:39 · answer #5 · answered by yasmina cat 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You just need to make a choice and stop playing with the lives and emotions of two people. It has to be one or the other and that's just simple.
2007-05-06 11:37:23 · answer #6 · answered by Kandie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi u have to search u'r heart and really think about what u want. which one of these two ladies really make u happy? it might be helpful to draw a simple advantages and disadvantages table for being with each of the ladies in helping u decide. and remember it is about u'r happiness not anyone elses. and don't allow anyone to emotionally blackmail you.if people want to commit suicide, they should take responsibility for it. u should not be made to feel responsible for someone else's life. take care
2007-05-06 11:44:46 · answer #7 · answered by colgal12 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's wrong to just bail out on somebody after you've said vows to them, but im not going to school you.Follow your heart...get mental health for your wife if it comes down to that. Nobody knows what you should do but you....it's your heart...care for who you care for. Next time say Vows carefully...from the heart...MEAN THEM...Marriage is not a toy...it's a commitment.
2007-05-06 11:38:11 · answer #8 · answered by ♥ Loving My Babyboy ;) ♥ 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
do not 'follow your heart'' the heart is the greatest deceiver. you are MARRIED-- do the right thing. If I were your wife; I'd divorce you.
2007-05-06 11:49:40 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't love her, don't stay. The fact that she threatens you with suicide is another form of emotional abuse. Ask Dr. Phil.
2007-05-06 11:38:04 · answer #10 · answered by mslorikaraoke 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋