my sister is in her 30s and contacted an old bf from high school and have been dating for 5 mon. ago.She shows me all the gifts, floweres,cards,love letters ect he has given her.I see how much he brags about her to his family,friends ect.He tells her how perfect she is for him and all kinds of "one liners".Well i just found out he has been cheating on her with not one but 2 others!My sis will be devastated if she ever found out.why does a man treat a women like a queen and say the things he does to her only to turn around and cheat on her?
2007-05-06 11:01:32 · 12 answers · asked by heathernorton674894 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Stay outa this. She may know, and won't care unless it's brought to her attention. His problems may not be what your expect. and this will turn out for the best if it's not tampered with by outsiders. If you break into this, your sister may accuse you of being jealous, or worse, of damaging her on purpose, then what ever the guy does will be acceptable and you'll be in the doghouse forever. Admit nothing, and stay out of the fight. If she asks if you knew, lie. Tell her you just found out yourself. What does she want to do about it. Help when asked.
2007-05-06 11:13:18 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not just the nature of the man, but the beast in the women he's cheating with. If she was a friend I'd really tell you to be careful about getting involved, but this is your sister ........ it will do her better to find out now than to find out later on when she's in too deep. Just be mindful that their relationship warrants the type of commitment that you are saying he's violating. Sometimes relationships are not as secure as one may think, which allows parties to continue to date other people.
To stay neutral, confront him and tell him what you discovered and give him the option of coming clean or you will break the news yourself.
2007-05-06 18:27:01 · answer #2 · answered by dadgonewild 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes I think men want the good girl, who has the best status or he has the better stats, and yes they are going to treat you like a queen to seem more loving, they can also appear to be trustworthy, and your head can be so far in the clouds that your vision will be distorted to the truth of what's really going on. I don't doubt that he really feels true feelings towards your sister, but sometimes men aren't ready for what we are ready for. It's a complicated situation. Cheaters.com
2007-05-06 18:13:03 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
let's face it, men and women alike are capable of doing the same simply because we are just humans. let's face it, there are vicious people who are selfishly happy that they hurt someone with their careless behavior. sadly, the victim here is your sister.
as early as now, tell her. tell her now while she and the guy have not plunge to anything too serious such as marriage. tell her without being biased. tell her only the facts, of what you know. be fair and do not judge the other guy without having a proof. remember that it is possible that she won't believe you. she can be so much blinded of her love for him that she may take it against you. be careful with your words, with your advices. tell her upfront that it's not your business to interfere but as a loving sister, you have no choice but to let her know because you don't want her to get hurt.
soon as you tell her, be there for her. she needs her support group the most esp this time when she will be told upfront that the love of her life is a cheater. also, be ready that she may be stubborn enough to face the truth. if she reacts that way, let her be. have it figure it out herself.
sometimes, as an outsider in a relationship, there are things that we will never understand why she keeps it despite of knowing its flaws and shortcomings. and as an outsider, we are bound with limits and boundaries in stepping-in. sadly, sometimes we are left with no option but to allow them to get hurt and have them feel the pain so they will learn. the most you can do right now is tell her and be there for her whether she decides to keep the man.
2007-05-06 18:19:43 · answer #4 · answered by pinkdot 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You owe it to her to tell her. It will hurt a lot more for her to find out another way than to hear it from you. Not to mention if she ever found out that you knew and didn't tell her, she would be devastated.
He's obviously not THAT perfect for her. Maybe it would help too if you confronted him and warned him not to hurt her. Tell him to stay away.
Take care and good luck.
2007-05-06 18:10:48 · answer #5 · answered by Shannon H 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi. If you are certain of this, you must let her know. Beware, however; she might have a fit, and accuse you of lying/being jealous (this has happened to me, being the bearer of bad news...) This is a small price to pay, however, in order to sheild her from further wasting her time, energy, and love on an a_shole! Thankfully, not all men behave like this!...Best of luck.
2007-05-06 18:09:04 · answer #6 · answered by Artemisia G 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The key question is: What would YOU want your sister to do in the same situation? Tell you or wimp out and not tell you? Of course you'd want her to tell you ... so tell her. If you are way too chicken, then send her an anonymous note in the mail from your town, type it out, and mail it ... but send it! By-the-way, you'd better have iron clad proof and not just vague rumor if you are going to do this ...
2007-05-06 18:05:47 · answer #7 · answered by John B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is crazy. Let her know your suspicions or facts - hopefully this is not speculation or gossip that ypu are sharing with her. If you know this to be a true fact let her know. He may be setting her up for a future of abuse and insanity. Perhaps you could confront him yourself. I think it would be bad if you said this to her and it wans't true and she lost soemone nice over it. make sure it is a fact, but then let her know. Sometimes guys like this are so charming in the beginning, because they are going to be so despicable in the end. Good lluck to this lady.
2007-05-06 18:09:23 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she were my sister I would tell her. She needs to know.
2007-05-06 18:12:30 · answer #9 · answered by notyou311 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
because no matter what he says, or what anyone says----SHE PURSUED HIM, he din't have to do a thing to get her.---btw--
to all you other posters--where did this women ask 'should i tell her??' can you not read correctly?
2007-05-06 18:53:06 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋