Why are people so ignorant to stare at my children when they act up?

Question

I am a mother of 3 and almost hate to bring my children out in public because I'm tiered of the stares we get. The oldest has ADHA, and at times can get out of control. But even when the other 2 children have tantrums people just glare. Have these people never had children and can't relate to us? It makes us as parents feel uncomfortable and hard to parent when others are glaring at us. Whats wrong with these people???

Okay I need to clairify somethings, my children don't always throw temper tantrums but children some times do. I do disicpline them when something does happen, but the stares I get make me feel uncomfortable. I know its human nature to look at something that looks out of sorts. But take a look and move on!

Answer 1

Most people don't understand until they are in the same situation. I can feel what you are experiencing. I have been there.

Answer 2

I think people assume if your children are out of control when they are in public that they aren't being raised right. I can't speak about your child that has ADHA, but why do your other two kids throw tantrums in public places? Yes, I had two boys, and throwing tantrums in public is something they did not do, or at home either for that matter. Sorry, I wouldn't be staring, I'd just remove myself from the vicinity. I have no patience for ill-behaved children or the parents who allow them to act that way, I raised my boys to behave and respect others.

Answer 3

Those people are staring at you and thinking "What's wrong with those parents? Why don't they discipline thier children?" Whenever I see a parent getting after or spanking thier child, I don't stare, because the parent is doing thier job. But when a child is getting out of hand or throwing a tantrum and the parent is ignoring the child OR trying to "reason" with the child and begging them to be quiet, that's when I look. It's pretty ridiculous.

Answer 4

Ah, darlin', you can't put yourself in another's shoes can you. Insolent children are not only offensive and disruptive, but it shows their parents have no idea how to raise them. They're staring at your kids, to avoid staring at you and your helplessness. I'm guessing you are not a Christian. If you want to see children behaving, go to a local evangelical church just one Sunday and observe their Sunday school classes. You will see what you never believed was possible. Children acting politely, and responsibly in most cases. Now, granted there will always be parents like you bringing their kids, and not incorporating the peace of God into their family. So you may see a few of the crazier, undisciplined children there, too. To be successful parents you must be trained. God has a plan for that. Trust your life to Jesus Christ, and he will help you learn the peace that will pass to your children through your faith. There is also your responsiblity to bring your children up in the knowledge of the Lord. Without saving faith, they will be separated from God when they die. Give them a break, and go get JESUS.

Answer 5

What's wrong with you?!! I am the proud parent of a five year-old daughter, and she doesn't act up in public. I would appreciate it if you would not put you and I in the same parenting category. If you could learn to control your children, then you wouldn't have to worry about people glaring! YOU ARE THE PARENT! That means YOU are the boss, stop letting your kids walk all over you!

Answer 6

It's not them.
Everybody loves to gawk at a car wreck.
Most children act up occasionally...
...but every time you go out?
It's clearly not your your kids fault.
Discipline is not child abuse.
Performed correctly, it is a teaching toll.

If you've ever watched NANNY 911 on TV, then you KNOW it's the parents who have to learn new attitudes and behaviors to bring their children under control, to acceptable levels of public behavior.

Answer 7

Maybe people expect you to either keep your children under control and when they get out of control, do something about it like take them elsewhere. You haven't said what you do when your children throw a tantrum. If you just let them cry and carry on, I can understand why you would get looks. However, if you try to stop them and or discipline them, then I personally would applaud that.

Answer 8

They are probably wondering why you let them get so out of control....Society teaches us that we must behave in a decent manner to ourselves and each other....that teaching is mostly the parent's responsibility, and once the child is in school the teachers help instill that also.
We have to teach our children to be well behaved and respectful to adults, otherwise they turn out to be uncontrollable spoiled brats.

Answer 9

Then maybe, you ought to start doing a little parenting, Kid have to be taught, they don't come into this world learned, or should I say already educated. You have to teach them, and their actions when out reflect on you. I'm sorry, that just the way it is.

Answer 10

its, not that they dont all have kids its just that some parents need spanked more than the kids do...

i teach my kids manners so nobody else will have to later in life

when your kids reach adulthood, people like me who sometimes do the glaring will be more than happy to teach them the manners you forgot to

thats if you (i guess i mean your kids) are lucky and the prison system doesnt do the discipline for them.

tantrums arent allowed from my kids and dont happen in public... at least one has add. but they are still expected to settle things in a productive, self-enabling manner.

we'll see how ignorant we all are, when your kids serve us our value meals between prison stints

Answer 11

Nothing is wrong with them. It is hard for you as a parent but it is even harder for strangers to put up with the behavior. If the out of control involves high volume, that is very hard to ignore because it is annoying and strangers do not know your child has ADHA. They just know he/she is acting out and it's annoying to them. If you can not control all three at once you should take turns on taking them out. Also, have his/her MD check his/her medication and dosage which will make things easier for both you and your child.

BE CAREFUL WITH MARICELI'S ADVICE. SPANKING IS ILLEGAL IN SOME STATES AN D SOME PEOPLE WILL TURN YOU IN EVEN IN THOSE WHERE IT IS LEGAL. THIS CAN LEAD TO AN INVESTIGATION AND IF THERE ARE ANY MARKS ON THEM(EVEN RED FROM A HAND PRINT) YOUR CHILDREN COULD BE TAKEN FROM YOU. I PERSONALLY BELIEVE A GOOD SPANKING CAN BE GOOD FOR A CHILD IN CERTAIN CIRCUMSTANCES BUT NEVER IN PUBLIC AND NEVER SO HARD IT LEAVES A MARK. YOU DON'T NEED TO GO TO JAIL INSTEAD OF BEING STARED AT!!!!!

PS. DON'T LET THE CONTROL YOUR KIDS GANG HERE MAKE YOU FEEL BAD. I KNOW FROM WORKING WITH KIDS THAT ADHA CAN BE PRETTY HARD TO DEAL WITH-EVEN WITH MEDS BUT THERE IS A SCHOOL OF THOUGHT OUT THERE THAT A PARENT SHOULD ALWAYS BE ABLE TO HAVE CONTROL OF THEIR KID. THOSE FOLKS ARE INDEED IGNORANT.