I know this sounds awful, but after a year of deployment it is hard to find new things to talk about when it calls , its just good to hear his voice. for the both of us its just the same old stuff happening day after day, was wondering what i can say when there is silence.
2007-05-06 09:59:46 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
no kiddos. ( not yet )
he gets to call once a week. sometimes twice. but we email back and fourth all the time and IM with yahoo! thank god for technology ! !
2007-05-06 10:14:50 · update #1
hey there I am a military wife too...I know how it can be..just be honest with him, tell him its getting hard to find things to talk about I'm sure he feels the same way too..how often does he get to call? maybe you could go longer between calls do the 2 of you have kids? its so hard, I would just be honest about it and I am sure you already do this but just always tell him how much you love and miss him....Good luck and take care
2007-05-06 10:10:05 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It may seem trivial to you to talk about the dog tracking mud through the house while your husband is fighting a war, but sometimes that can be the most comforting things for him to hear about. My brother just got back from his second tour in Iraq, and he said that what got him through his 2 deployments was hearing about the little things. Whenever he'd call, my sister-in-law would tell him about how their 1 1/2 year old flushed a $200 pair of prescription glasses down the toilet, or how she couldn't figure out his riding lawn mower so the yard was over grown. She'd let him know that while they were managing, it was taking a lot of help from both families. He said that hearing about the day to day things made it feel less like he was half a world away. Even if it was only for a breif time, he was home. Most important though, make sure he knows that you love him, that you're proud of him, and that you can't wait until he comes home. It's important that all of our boys around the world know that.
Best wishes, I hope your husband comes home safely.
2007-05-06 10:23:12 · answer #2 · answered by lehua 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have a friend that was deployed for a year and when I started to talk to him we would talk about the weather , what I had for dinner what I was watching on tv what I did for fun. And gave him the ability to talk about what ever he wanted to talk about some times it would be about what he was dealing with, what he was feeling but for the most part I do believe that he just wanted to know that there was someone out there that cared. And was willing to spend time with him and take him away from the day to day stuff he was dealing with. We would laugh and leason to music. there where times where he would tell me about a place he wanted to go even if it was more of a story. he would start it and we would go back and forth. To the point it was like we could feel it, smell it and see it. Just knowing that you are there I believe makes all the difference. That you haven't forgotten him and that you will be there when he gets back. The mind can play tricks on you and make you think of things when you feel alone. Even if there is nothing to worry about.
2007-05-06 10:31:31 · answer #3 · answered by nicole l 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I understand how you feel. While my boyfriend was deployed, it was hard to find things to talk about, especially since there wasn't much he could say. So, we mostly talked about things that were going on in my life. You could talk to him about things you would like to do when he comes home. You can talk about movies or shows you've seen recently, or discuss the things you would like to see when he comes home. You can talk to him about things that you miss about him and the things you miss doing. You could tell him how good it is to hear his voice after not hearing it for a while. Tell him anything that comes to mind while you're on the phone. My boyfriend and I would fill the silent parts of our phone calls by humming or telling each other how much we missed each other. Tell him you love him and how proud of him you are. Even if it seems like the same old conversation, he will still love it because he'll be hearing your voice. And, maybe he doesn't really mind hearing the same old same old. Good luck!
2007-05-06 10:09:00 · answer #4 · answered by Liz 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The small day to day activities are interesting to those away from home. This may be boring for you to talk about but it is good for them away from home to be included in the day to day things to feel like things are half way normal yet. It keeps them connected with everyday life at home and that is so important now. It makes it easier to come back to the regular routine too, if it has been spoken about a lot. If you do not do this it will be harder for them to reconnect when returning home. Cleaning , taking out the garbage, etc. should all be included in the conversations. Sounds crazy but it is important, they do not want to be entertained with exciting news all the time. They want and need you to talk about normal day to day activities.
2007-05-06 10:13:08 · answer #5 · answered by JAN 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There can be a lot of warmth in that silence.
I would think the trivia of what's going on around
you, international news he hasn't heard (like the
Queen coming to the Derby) ...
The world is a big place and there is a lot to
talk about. Not all of its bad news and not all
of it has anything to do with Middle East.
Hang in there. I hope he comes home and says
to you "Woman? What the hell were you talking
about!"
2007-05-06 10:03:22 · answer #6 · answered by Elana 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing wrong with keeping things light. Don't tell him about the tornadoes and how many people died or presidential politics. Find something funny such as jokes or sports and tell him because he can share with his buddies and they will tell him his wife has humor, which he is gonna tell you.
When he is under the gun all day, lovey stuff is unwelcomed distraction.
2007-05-06 10:26:27 · answer #7 · answered by Sir Richard 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Have youthought about praying together over the phone? It's a neat way to connect!
2007-05-06 10:05:47 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Funny typo, when it calls. lol sorry.
2007-05-06 10:04:26 · answer #9 · answered by asmikeocsit 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋