What is your HONEST perception of perpetually single people? Is singledom normal?

Question

I was on another site and someone insulted a woman because she was in her 30s and had never been in a r'ship. SHe replied that she was in a r'ship with HERSELF and was perfectly happy.

Assuming that she was being honest, what is your instinctive feeling about someone perpetually being alone. DO you see it as sad? Do you feel that ALL people are supposed to form romantic relationships?

Or do you think that someone could actually be genuinely happier not being with anyone for the rest of their lives?

Answer 1

i think its instinct to want to reproduce, thats why everyone wants to have sex however i think the whole couple thing is a socially constructed thing. I am single at the moment & am happy with it, i mainly feel sad about it when other people say things like 'are you lonely?' etc, i think i want to be in a couple so i can meet other peoples expectations than actually wanting to be with someone, i like my own company-sorry if some people are uncomfortable with that

Answer 2

sometimes when you're in a r'ship the othern person is so needy that every spare moment is taken up by them and some people who enjoy having alone time or me time cannot cope with someone who always needs to be with them after someone has had a r'ship like that it's hard not to feel that all others will end up like that so instead of getting back on the dating horse it's easier and happier to remain single as you do not have that suffocation and you become much happier having that time to yourself that you wouldn't have had before you still go on dates and have sex but without the attachment of someone always there and if your dates start thinking they're dating you you move on i know this from personal experience and i am much much happier single

Answer 3

Some people don't like being single, these are often people who had never been on their own before. Some of them never get used to being alone.
But I love my own company, I probably do need people, but at a time of my choosing.
You ask is it normal, probably not, because people are programed to have personal relationships, but for the people alone, that is their normality.
I have had a few relationships, and during them I was aware what I was giving up, for the relationship. When a relationship ends, I feel sad, but I knew I was happy before the relationship, so I quickly get over it, and enjoy the freedoms I sacrificed for the relationship.
People can be happy within a relationship, but people can also be unhappy within relationships.
Some people can be happy being single, others can't.
I am fortunate, I am very happy.

Answer 4

Well my Mum's two best friends are now in their 50's and both single. Never mind the feelings, I think more than anything I'm just curious as to what actually happened... were they too fussy? Commitment-phobes?

They are both really lovely people... very kind and generous and good company. So I really don't know what went wrong. Same with another good friend, she didn't marry until she was 37 (despite being very smart and pretty) and I strongly suspect that she just 'settled' for her husband.

I think it is natural to pair up with someone, be that in marriage or the modern day equivalent of 'living together'. I would love to meet someone in the future and get married. It would feel a very natural role to me to be a wife and mother, but I don't actually believe that it will ever happen. So I guess I'm going to become one of these women!

I do think it is a pity if someone remains single all their life, particularly people with a lot of potential for love and warmth, but it does happen and maybe they don't feel that way, I don't know. I wouldn't be happy or feel I had fulfilled my potential, but maybe to someone else that is exactly what they want, to be single and do whatever they want. We all have our own paths in life.

Answer 5

I would distinguish single people from lonely people.
Anyway, human although in the top of the animal chain, still conserve on some degree their natural animanl instincts that call for the establishment of a relationship.
Current society behaviour patterns and environment family conditions during early childhood alter and shape these basic characteristics.
At a personal level, I consider she is missing an important part of what is to be a human being. Sharing life with someone is an experience you can´t understand if you do not go through it.

Answer 6

My great aunt never married, I don't know if she had relationships. She used to live with her sister. She is now around ninety-six and she brings meals on wheels to people twenty years younger than her who think they're too old to cook. She still travels the world, she was in the Antarctic in her nineties.

Someone else who lived to a hundred put their longevity down to the fact that they never married, they avoided the stress of marital arguments. There's nothing wrong with celibacy as long as you're not someone like a priest or teacher who has a lot of contact with children because it seems to make priests stray. If it's a choice then you will have the will to stay as a complete individual without needing an other half or sexual gratification.

Answer 7

Of course, there is no problem with being single and it's the right of the individual. I'm single now and happy to be this way for the moment - I have a lot going on in my life as it is; but I'm only 20 so I (hopefully) have time to wait for the right guy to come along. I can't imagine spending all my life being single though - I think, at some point, everyone needs to have someone they can share their life with; having that special bond with someone for the rest of your life is something money can't buy.

Answer 8

I think some people are better off being on their own. I have been alone for almost 7 years and havn't had so much as a date in almost 2 years, and I am seriously considering staying this way. I understand myself and what I want out of life much better than ever before. I definitely don't want anyones pity, I sometimes pity others because they have 2 people in their life to make happy, and it's hard enough just making yourself happy. So it depends on the individual and their beliefs and feelings on the matter. Some people have to have a significant other just to function.

Answer 9

I, myself, am one of those "perpetually" single folks. (Although I have yet to decide whether I want a stable relationship or not.) And, yes, it is possible for someone to achieve happiness without having to be coupled up with anybody; some get through life by having a large social network of very close friends, eliminating the need for a deeply personal relationship with a "soul mate."

On the flip side, I find it pathetic that someone absolutely needs to be totally dependent on another for self-esteem and self satisfaction.

Answer 10

I Think It Sucks To Be Single Until i Get A Boyfriend.. Then I Get Annoyed & Wonna Be Single Again Lol.. Then After A While i Wonna Be Relationship Again LOL & I Just Go On Like That Allllll The Time (: