how to manage a real problem with your boss ?

Question

i have a problem with my boss , idon't know how to solve , it could b solved if i just applogised , simply every one been advising me to do so, but he really hurt me and even accused me of false things and made that i don't obey work commands . and the thing is its hard for me to appologize even it will solve the problem . i just don't want to even step to his office . don't know how to solve it wisely and b in win situation . i just want to retuern my rights .

Answer 1

I recently retired after 35 years of working for state government.. I was a worker AND a boss in that amount of time..... There are things you are not telling us here, but I suspect from what you HAVE said,,,,you have had trouble with his man before now..... where you said "I don't obey work commands"..... If you want to KEEP your job, the first thing I would do is go talk to him---it's difficult but it's the best thing to do...tell him you are sorry... IF you have been in your position for a while and he has been your BOSS for a while, he already has a handle of how you perform at your job...he MAY not want to change his mind OR help you (depending on how long a time it has been).... and he MAY just say something like "if you don't shape up FAST, you will be out of a job"........ So my suggestion to you would be to try to learn how to follow the examples set forth by your fellow employees who seem to be in your bosses FAVOR.... observe how they do their work, how they speak, even how they keep the tops of their desks... and try to be more like THEM.... if you cannot, then maybe this job is not the correct FIT for you and you should go find another one.. HOWEVER, a bit of advice I've given to my adult son recently..... DO NOT leave ONE job until you definitely KNOW that you have another one......jobs are too hard to find any more and if you leave one job without KNOWING you have another one, it could be MONTHS that you are unemployed and without money...

Answer 2

First of all, I would talk with your HR department and see if I could get a mediator. That way there could be a third party present when you discuss the issues with your boss and vice versa. Having the third party also lessons the possibility that more problems can occur etc. In situations like these it is often better to have a neutral party involved. Often problems like these are a result of communication can awry, different personality types, and sometimes even just having a bad day. Further problems can grow from not discussing the original situation and can lead to increased animosity/ further issues down the road.

Answer 3

If the only way to resolve the situation is with an apology, but you don't want to go 'face to face' then you might want to consider WRITING a letter of apology.

But please keep it temperate, and do not use it to further any accusations.

You can try something like:

I am sorry that we had a misunderstanding the other day regarding (whatever it was).

While I understand your position, I hope that you at least give some consideration to my side of things. I want to reiterate that I make every effort to do my work in an efficient and timely manner, follow work orders, and behave in a professional manner.

I would like nothing more than to put this situation behind us and return to a more peaceful and productive relationship.

Please accept my apology.

Answer 4

You should have discussed it with him at the time of him accusing you. You should have let him know that he was being unfair to you, and that he is falsly accusing you. Its propably too late now to appologize or to even approach him. If you dont care about this job, just start looking for another job, because things may become uncomfortable between you and your boss from now on. But if you really like your job and dont want to quit, then consider writing him a letter with all your feelings on it and just put it on his desk, it may be easier for you.

Answer 5

Then don't apologize, theres nothing going to make you feel worse than apologizing for something that your not guilty of. If the apology doesn't come from the heart, it will only make the problem worse. If he accused of doing something that you didn't do, then he's the one that should be apologizing. He knows that he has upset you, let him dwell on it. Do not discuss it any further with your business associates. Just keep your nose to the grind stone and do your job to the best of your ability. He should get the message and call you to the side and apologize to you. Keep your mind occupied at work.

Answer 6

I would have a discussion with him. I would tell him exactly what you said--how he hurt you, and accused you unfairly and that it really hurt you. and then see what he says. If he says that you are still wrong, try to make him see your side, give him examples of the many times you did obey his work commands and that you are so loyal and dedicated and you love your job and you don't want this to get between the 2 of u. Hopefully, he'll understand and you'll reach a mutual understanding of each other. Good Luck :)

Answer 7

Bosses are people too. Just because they have such a "mighty" name it doesnt mean that you should feel at a lower level than them that you cant confront him or her. Briefly ask the boss next time you see him whens a good time to talk. When you talk to him treat him like anyone else youd talk to, let it all out, but still be respectful. If he is a good boss he'd actually think more of you to have the courage to talk to him so open.

Hope this helps, goodluck

Answer 8

Taking criticism is difficult, but maybe your boss was right about some of the things he said. If you look at things from you boss' point of view, how would you manage yourself in the same situation if you were the boss? If you would react the same way as your boss, then definitely apologize.

Answer 9

"I just wanted to say, that although I feel you've misconstrued my actions, I respect your position and apologize for this misunderstanding. I do understand the duties of my job and will continue to strive to do the best possible."

If you say this, you have your win win. You won't be admitting any wrong doing, you only concede there has been a misunderstanding. However, you will appease your boss, IF he's reasonable, by using the word apologize and by confirming that you will do the best job you can.

Answer 10

Just apologize, but make yourself feel better by no longer considering him a friend. You owe it to yourself to lie through your teeth to your as**ole boss and say sorry. It's win-win because your boss leaves you alone AND you get to keep your job!