My ex-husband has custody of our 15 year old daughter. He left me a voicemail yesterday saying that he is afraid that she will come out like me - no confidence and not able to solve problems in life. I deleted the message and did not listen further after I heard this.
He lived in another state and moved due to job reasons. I am asking him to send her to me since I live in another state.
He wants me to come and live in his house in the same state as my child so that she can finish high school in the same school. I am saying I can live in the same town but separately or send her to me so she can start afresh in a new school/ state.
I am confused by his voicemails. He wants me back yet puts me down by saying that I don't have confidence and can not solve problems in life.
He asked me what I had gained by divorcing him. I said that I make decision on my own. He said what you are doing now you should have done earlier in life.
2007-05-06 02:22:53 · 9 answers · asked by Stareyes 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He sounds manipulative and controlling... you are absolutely right in maintaining your distance... if your daughter is turning out "just like you" it's likely because he's beaten her down the way he beat you down during your marriage. Your daughter needs you... I would move closer... close enough that your daughter can visit you whenever she needs to. at this stage of her life she needs as much support and stability as you can supply... by moving you provide an opportunity for her to maintain the support group she has developed through existing friendships... and you provide a haven where she can escape and confide in someone she has shared experiences with.
You need to get some counselling... it's obviousl you've taken a beating from this guy (if not physical...certainly emotional) not only for your benefit... but for your daughter's as well.
2007-05-06 02:46:49 · answer #1 · answered by alex b 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This sounds like a man with control issues. Maybe he is frustrated because he can't control YOU anymore. How did he end up getting custody of your daughter? I say no way you should live in his home. I think the best option (if you can do it) would be to move back there,for your daughters sake, until she finishes High School. That way it doesn't upset her life too much and it puts you back in touch with your daughter. Good luck to you.
2007-05-06 02:37:12 · answer #2 · answered by seashell 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you are doing just fine to me and he is the needy insecure one. He wants you back cuz he wants a mommy.
Wants you back to take care of the house and the kid.
pretty obvious. So, move there for a few years. My advice is" get an a apartment RIGHT NEAR THE SCHOOL. So it is easy for your daughter to get there,
I did this when I moved back to the same city as my kids and it has been a really positive thing for them, their friends come over after school for a soda and homework almost every day.
So OK there, focus on the daughter, but to go back and live in his house would be tragic I think.
2007-05-06 02:34:40 · answer #3 · answered by emagidson 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Only you can decide how to react. Here is my take on the situation based on the info given. I suspect your ex is some what abusive. He puts you down, is condescending and possibly controlling. Stand up for yourself and tell him exactly how you feel. Don't allow him to treat you any other way than respectful. You know what is best for you. Good luck!!
2007-05-06 02:34:06 · answer #4 · answered by brian M 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
wow, your brother sounds like psycho. He would not have the final to handle you or his "buddy" like this. now and returned while ppl flow into the protection tension they alter. i comprehend my sister replaced yet I nevertheless love her. i could enable your brother cool off, because of fact he desires to reevaluate how he dealt with you and his buddy. He ought to be below an excellent variety of rigidity and blew each little thing out of proportion. i'm sorry you had to handle this. this additionally will impression his dating with females. So i would not communicate with him for a together as until eventually he can make an apology to you. It replaced into unadult like, and intensely immature. i'm quite perplexed via you pointing out that it looked like he replaced into comfortable with it in the beginning up. What got here approximately to him being comfortable with each little thing? yet another ingredient he's no longer your discern, so i do no longer see why he could make your dating judgements. sounds such as you're mature adequate to settle on who as much as now and who to no longer date. Ppl say issues they do no longer mean yet he went overboard. do no longer enable what he reported impression who u are as a guy or woman when you consider which you're no longer that guy or woman. He has some substantial themes that he desires to look after in the past he may even start to criticize you.
2016-12-28 15:01:00 · answer #5 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's a weirdo. Prove to him that you can solve life problems by going for custody of your daughter as it sounds like he is putting her down now. You both need to be free from that sort of treatment.
2007-05-06 02:28:59 · answer #6 · answered by holly 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
it sounds like he brought you down and controlled you lowerd yourself confadence some guys have to have that controll and he needs that back thats why he left that message dont let him controll you your better off with out him so gain your life back get your kid back because he will start comtrolling her since he cant controll you
2007-05-06 03:00:06 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Show him the confidience and ability to make decsions you have. Go for your daughter. He is just saying those things because he is them himself. Prove him wrong.
2007-05-06 04:14:32 · answer #8 · answered by hotmomma4 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is Your Baby A Girl Or Boy? Cause You Put He And She?
2007-05-06 02:28:46 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋