I am a 24 yr old unhappily married woman who is having marriage problems. I met this guy online and started to have feelings for him. He told me that he has feelings for me. His exact words were "If it were up to me I'll take your heart and make it mine." Well days ago he and I talked and he told me that he has been avoiding me because talking to me hurt him too much. So I left him a message asking if he still wants to be in my life and if he did to please let me know. And if I didnt hear from him I would respect his wishes and leave him alone. Well I havent heard from him since and im worried about him. Should I really respect his wishes and leave him alone? Even though it was obvious he really did care about me? Please help me anyone!!! I cant stop thinking about him.
2007-05-06 00:28:18 · 14 answers · asked by sweetlady82 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
well, your first question should be love or lust it should be what the heck am I doing? You are married...unhappy or not but you owe it to your husband ( and children if any) to own up to your feelings or doubts about the marriage and address them like an adult. I know about being unhappy and my husband and I are struggling through things right now. This man doesn't know you or your husband and I doubt that he really cares about either one. it is easy to fall in love the fantasy of someone who wants to make your heart yours, but have you ever thought that even though unhappy you already gave your heart away to someone else. I think you need to leave this man alone for no other reason except that you are cheating on your husband. Talking this way is disrepectful to the vow that you made. I don't mean to sound harsh, but grow some balls and make a decision. If you are unhappy either address it or leave. You are only unhappy because you are letting the situation sit, you aren't doing anything to change it, talking or seperation. Leave the man alone and focus on the man that you already made a committment to. We all go through unhappy times, but it is how you cope with it that changes everything. You are now giving too much energy into this "man" and not enough to your husband. help yourself by changing the situation you are in...maybe then you won't think so much about this other person. Good luck.
2007-05-06 00:49:14 · answer #1 · answered by superwmn315 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's not either. You're unhappy and you're looking for the knight on the white horse to ride up and rescue.
If you're unhappily married, get the heck out of it, or work on making it better. Maybe if you put the same effort into your marriage as you have your online relationship, then your marriage may be a little better.
Yes, leave the on line Lothario alone. He can't make your life better, only you can. Stop expecting some stranger, and that's what he is, to fix it and make it better. Just because he seems like a great guy and can TYPE all the right things, doesn't make him a great guy. It makes him a guy with typing skills.
2007-05-06 00:41:31 · answer #2 · answered by Kaia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unhappily married, finding some online to fill that void? Well that the new story book ride into the sunset answer to your problems. You can say anything online and make someone believe it and it works even better when you have a web cam, it makes it even more believeable. But until you get to the point of meeting this person in person I would take it slow , if this is something you truely want to go after. And having feeling for someone online is something I have been involved in myself. And the answer I get is how can you have feelings for someone that you just talk to on line, that could fill you up with a bunch of BS, I believe it can happen. Just take it one day at a time and go slow and see where it takes you
2007-05-06 01:05:52 · answer #3 · answered by nicole l 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My question is have you met this person face to face? You didn't mention. You have to meet and spend time with each other in order for you to determine if it is actually love or lust.
It may be that because you are unhappily married he is filling a need for you on the computer that is not being met at home. I think it is easy to go looking for something on the internet that is missing in your life and then falling for that feeling.
Also, if he is single he maybe feeling that the possibility is grim because you are married. And this is not your fault obviously. It is the situation at hand. Reality.
I would say to respect his wishes and give it time. As they say...set it free. If it was meant to be, he will come back and you can work it out if you feel so strongly that it is worth taking a chance on. In the meantime, work on you and figure out if you want to stay in such an unhappy marriage. You are young and have your entire life ahead of you. There are options for you. You just need to think it through and come up with an action plan to set yourself free and begin living a life of independence and happiness. I hope this helps! Good Luck to you!!
2007-05-06 00:42:50 · answer #4 · answered by Florida girl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop right now.. You know what your doing? you are undressing one saint to dress another, meaning your unhappy with your husband so you think that another relationship is going to make you feel better.. If you are so unhappy with your man go and get divorced and then you are going to be free to find someone else, you should have no more contact with this man until you are separated and divorce from your husband. I'm sure you have your reasons not to be happy in your marriage but getting in to another relationship is not going to make it any better, DECISIONS that is what going to make you feel better, make the right one too LEAVE YOUR UN-HAPPY MARRIAGE.. and start new with someone else, if this person is not contacting you anymore you let it go who knows what situations is he? maybe while he is writing you and chatting on the computer is wife his making dinner and his children are playing around in the house.. Have you give this any thought? don't be surprised. Thousand of married man are on the computers right now looking for new thrills on this machines. Is like a safe way of cheating. You know nothing about him.. Get a divorce and find something real out side the Internet.. Good luck.
2007-05-06 01:33:20 · answer #5 · answered by boricua_2290 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems alot of peoples love for there partner fades with time although they may have had strong feelings before getting married. As for the online guy I find it hard to imagine how the deep feelings of love can develope with someone you have not met or spent time with face to face but alot of people have met that way and ended in long term relationships, so what do I know. If you think he is the one you must attempt to contact him again however leave him alone if your just going to play games and hurt him more. my 2 cents
2007-05-06 00:43:36 · answer #6 · answered by jay b 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
His wife probably found out and he has to take it easy for a while. How can you develop feelings for someone online?? Why not devote your time to work on things with your husband and make the marriage work. go to counseling, get a life.
2007-05-06 03:23:55 · answer #7 · answered by Travis McGee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
leave him alone. You are only asking for trouble. He knows you are married and has declined to have further contact. Either fix your marriage or get out before starting another relationship!!!!!
2007-05-06 00:34:45 · answer #8 · answered by kelli_freeman@sbcglobal.net 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You met a guy online?
And you think it might be lust or love?
The guy is old, overweight and happily married and lieing to you about it. Now that he thinks you might want to meet he is terrified of getting caught and would rather go find another you.
Not love, not lust, just desperation.
2007-05-06 00:33:01 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Check out Mark Twain's short story When the Gods Laugh...:)
2016-05-17 03:58:48 · answer #10 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋