Has Marriage Lost it's Relevance?

Question

According to a recent report less women are chosing to get married. Women in their 50's are divorcing in droves, opting for freedom and independence, as opposed to a life of domestic servitude with a man who expects a nursemaid and housekeeper into his old age.

Now that women have economic independence why would they opt for a live of domestic drudgery pandering to a lazy slob festering on the couch whinging about what's not right with the world, when they could be dancing the tango in Buenos Aries or scuba diving in the Caribbean?.

If their kids have left home it seems that women are opting for freedom from the shackles of a dmestic prison. Do you blame them?. I don't. I'm in my 30's but chose to delay marriage since I've seen how unhappy so many of my friends are. Burned with juggling full time job with kids and household chores, they are stretched and stressed beyond belief.

We now have education, economic independence. We've moved on, most men have not. They still want a maid.

I also think that marriage is no longer the sacred ceremony it once was. Marriage today has been hijacked by those seeking to flee a live of pverty. Just look at all those websites for Russian or Thai or Phillipino birdes, all prepared to marry Jabba the Hut with a beer gut in a desperate measure to flee a life of poverty.

Tommy you are very wrong. I'm not a 'man hater' I have had two wonderful relationships and wonderful male friends. You menion marriage being a commitment, yes I agree but it should not be a commitment to a life of domestic drudgery. it has to be 50/50 for it to work. Men like you seek out low self esteem women who will fetch and carry, more mug them.

Uncle Jo whilst I agree with your sentiment, that society needs marriage and fidelity today more than ever. The majority of women if given the choice of horseriding across the Galapagos, trekking the Machu Picchu trail or changing some old Codger's Colostomy bag you know without a doubt which one they'd opt for.

'Proud Dad' you do not know me, and could not be more wrong in your arrogant assumption of me. I do feel very sorry for your wife. I hopde you appreciate her.
You're precisely the kind of man women are divorcing in droves. It would be interesting to your wife's honest opinion of you.

Answer 1

I do think marriage is becoming less common. As we watch our married friends become divorce monsters we have to wonder what is the point.

Obviously executing the ceremony does not a family make.

Women raise the children anyway. Why should you pay to get rid of a freeloader. (We aren't talking about those couples who actually make it work.)

I inherited 100% of the marital debt. 10 years later I am still struggling to pay it. I have the kids. He won't see the girls and only takes my son every other weekend if it suits him.

So, yeah, I can see where another person might not want to deal with the situation I am in.

So much the wiser, dear.

Answer 2

Yes and no. On one hand, I believe any loving couple should marry if that's what they wanna do. It creates a new type of bond between them, and there are legal aspects to marriage as well. On the other hand, divorces are much easier to obtain now, many people only get married because they had a kid together, etc. Those things not only make marriage less meaningful, but cause one to question marriage's relevance in modern society. Other than the legal implications of marriage, why do people still get married? In my opinion, it's just because "it's always been that way."

Answer 3

It has to some people. It hasn't to just as many others.

I divorced 21 years ago, and never remarried. I had a child to raise, and that's who I focused on. She's now an adult, with a life of her own.

I'd love to get married again, but to someone it'll last with. I don't have enough time left in my life to go through another total fiasco. If, by some chance, that happens, then I'm more than willing to marry again. However, I'm not actively looking. I love my life as it is. Some man who "wants a maid" isn't going to get anywhere with me. I have the ability to pick and chose who I want to be with. So, I'm going to chose carefully.

You can do the same. You don't HAVE to marry. However, it doesn't mean marriage has lost it's relevance. It's just that you aren't economically and culturally forced into accepting less than what you want. Enjoy it. It's the first time in history.

Answer 4

Not at all. For about half of the population, maybe, but there's still the other half that understands the value of committment and a long term relationship.

I know plenty of working women - with or without children - that are part of a solid marital relationship.

You just have to decide what your priorities are, whether man or woman.

If you want to intensely pursue a career, perhaps you'd better think twice about whether you can live with another person and maintain a pleasant relationship.

I don't think that education or economic independence has diminished the significance of marriage for all women.

Answer 5

As an "independent woman" I do believe that marriage has lost some relevance. I myself am going out of a "marriage of convenience" although I wanted a fully loving commitment out of it. Not all men are lazy, which is good, however most of us wouldn't want to live the double-standards of traditional society.

Some women are happiest single and live a life similar to Sex and the City. Biologically though I wouldn't be able to deny that I would want a husband for life and children with him. I guess I'm still affected by my own childhood musings and I believe very strongly on the sanctity of matrimony and to hold fast onto those vows.

However, I totally agree that women nowadays are stretched and stressed because of the double-standards. If they want independence, they must work. But because every woman in America is starting to go to that trend, almost all families live on double-incomes and it's very difficult to live on a singular income.

Answer 6

You haven't met the right man. I would agree and lump a majority of men into lazy slaving wanters but some just are looking for a loving partner who can give AND recieve love. Some ppl are tradionalist and want or need the marraige but are now looking down the road and proctect themselves from the painfullness of divorce. I think its great that women are seeing that they can be independant, but i think the overall answer is...... THIS IS YOUR LIFE, BE SELFISH AND DEMAND WHAT YOU DESERVE. Don't settle for less and look for HAPPINESS instead of percentages.

Answer 7

Less a question that a long statement with a question mark at the beginning.

But one with which I respectfully disagree. I certainly think that the way in which marriage is viewed is changing, and in many cases, that's not a bad thing. What is happening is that people arre starting to expect from marriage what the institution has always wanted to be - a union of equals. The notion of buying your bride or servitude, one serving while the other receives, is medieval and not basic to the concept.

The very foundations of the idea of marriage - commitment, union, fidelity - these are precisely values that our society needs today in huge amounts. Relevant? more than ever

Answer 8

There are good hard working men out there. They make capable fathers and treasured lifelong companions, they just don't make the headlines.
If a woman can be satisfied to not reproduce, not have a mate, and find fulfillment in her work; then there is no reason for her to marry. That's all well and good. Its not so good for the reasons you've listed here.

Answer 9

you have a point but i believe history repeats it self back in the 20s (from what i seen on tv)it seemed girls wanted to be free and do what they want i think times have change now there able to do so.so they do it all marrage is is a piece of paper why do i have to have that to say im married to some one more couples are also having these open relationships or living a swingers life style group sex its alll kinda wierd but sexy

Answer 10

Wow....I sense a hatred toward men here!!!! Sorry you've been hurt so badly but all men are not as you describe. Hopefully someday a man will prove your ideas to be wrong. In answer to your question...aside from the legal thing...all "marriages" are irrelevent. It's the commitment to another person that means something.