Has anyone been in this situation before? He's been married before (divorced 4 years) and has a 6yoa child. We've been together for almost 2 years and love each other very much but now he's saying that he can't give me what I want (a marriage and children). He said that he doesn't want to waste my time so i'm going to move out. I don't want to leave him and he says that he wants to be with me. I'm lost and don't know what to do. He said that he doesn't know when he'll be ready to commit again and wants me to go out with others to see if I can find someone that is ready. If you've been in this situation, let me know what you did and should I stay with him or leave???? Help me please!
2007-05-05 23:59:42 · 11 answers · asked by sunshine91105 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
My best advice is for you to give him his space and to move on...
He is not ready for another commitment/ responsibilty/ obligation maybe due to his past marriage and the child.He does not want to make the same mistake again...
If u care about him you should give him his space and time for him to grow and learn from that past experience.He had probably dealt with a lot of pains,hurts, and regret from the past relationship.
Its best to let him heal and learn from that...
And from that time that he is learning and he thinks he really loves u and ur still waiting for him or still have the same feeling for him then u are meant to be...
Its going to be difficult for both of u...
But if thats whats going to take to learn from that experience to become a better individual and/or to realize that u cant live without each other well then its worth it...
Good luck and be strong...
There are going to be times when u will miss him,crying,realization,regretting but take those pain and make a better outcome of it,learn from it...
Like a wise man always told me...
This too shall pass...
God bless
2007-05-08 09:01:09 · answer #1 · answered by aznbabyangel17 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl whole assssssssss leave you don't want to be in a relationship with a man who is so confused that he don't even know when he is going to be ready for a commitment, this man is a real waste of time, but i have to give to him at least he has the pants to admit it.. Listen to him if he saying he is not ready then hon, he is not.. Don't be a welcome mat move on and like he said find someone that is ready. One thing that most people fail to know is that no one and I mean no one dies from a broken heart, you can pass this thank him for not wanting to waste your time and move on.. If you stayed and you ended up being un happy your going to loose the right of blaming him for it because as childish and immature he may be he told you that he wasn't ready for any relationship and the blame is on you.. Do what the man says, go out there and find real true love a man that know what he wants.. and that can make you happy. Life is only one you don't deserve to be in a relationship where only you have feelings.. Is too much work.. Move on is my advice.. Good luck.
2007-05-06 01:09:13 · answer #2 · answered by boricua_2290 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to move out and look for someone who can give you what you want.
Look, you can't force him to change his mind. If he's afraid of committment, than that's his issue and he may (or may not) want to fix his issue. You can be as much in love as you possibly can be, but if he tells you that he can't commit, and that's what you want..well, give the guy points for honesty, pack up and get out.
Yes, you love him. Sure, he loves you. But if you've been together almost 2 years, and he's still twitchy, then he's not going to change.
You'll cry. You'll miss him. You'll be miserable. You'll get over it with time.
I was with someone who said he was committed, and wanted to spend his life with me, but who cheated. His version of committment and mine were totally different, apparently. I can't tolerate cheating. I wished him the best of luck, and I moved on. It wasn't easy, but I did. He found someone to marry who tolerates him cheating. That wasn't going to be me. (*shrug*) It hurt, but I'm glad I didn't accept something then that I wasn't going to be able to live with.
If you can't accept his "terms" and in 5 or 10 years are going to resent him..then get out now. Wish him the best, and leave. You really deserve what YOU want in life, and this man is not it.
2007-05-06 00:13:53 · answer #3 · answered by Kaia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he doesn't want to commit then move on. If he wants to be with you he will come around. Word of caution, you could become a booty call if you go back to him. Let him be by himself, he may want to experience someone or something else. You are wasting your time if you stay. Find someone that will appreciate you and give you what you want.
2007-05-06 01:09:33 · answer #4 · answered by Lisa D 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
leave as he wishes lest you become a slave of his commands. he can always do what he wants even if it hurts you bcuz he already initiated your breaking up with each other & admitted that he ain't ready for commitment.
ye.man say they want to be with you but not ready to commit. it means, they want to wander some more and giving you the freedom to date as well will be less hurting on their part bcuz somehow you mattered to him, only he doesn't want to seal it ... just yet.
2007-05-06 00:40:07 · answer #5 · answered by jables 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is putting his teerms up front and telling load and clear what he wants out of life. If those are things that you want you will not get them from him. Reavaluate your wants. Can you life for the rest of your life with that situation? If you want a family then you need to listen to what he is saying. If you want just a BF and nothing else stay. He is giving you clear concise direction.
2007-05-06 01:38:44 · answer #6 · answered by Shootsscores 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
choose a man who wants to commit...a man who can commit is a man with integrity...you should move on...don't waste your time as he said...it could be he's still in love with his ex...
2007-05-06 01:19:17 · answer #7 · answered by superb2dmax 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your first mistake is FWB. My 17 and 16 year old boys would never get into a relationship after the were FWB with a girl. They do not respect them. And they dont date girls that do. the say FWB are for hit and get?
2016-03-19 00:27:06 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How much clearer does he have to make it? You will not have the future you want if you stay with him. Leave and find someone who shares your dreams of marriage and children.
2007-05-06 01:07:57 · answer #9 · answered by Liz 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you lost interested of you in sex and do not love you anymore, you shall go as he said or you want him to get mad at you and dump you outside the street.
2007-05-06 00:04:48 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋