How to Break up With My Girlfriend Nicely??

Question

Hi everybody,

I have had a girlfriend for 5 years, a little different way of relationship, is a widow and has 2 children . All my family were against the relation. Specially because I am the eldest child in family with high education and so .... !!! I love her character, like her appearance and doubtful about the effect of children and the difference of education level in our life ( we didnt live together, just met ), tired of blames of family .....

I feel the best thing for both of us is to find another partner who is more appropriate with less ifs and buts. However she doesnt what this and wants to resist against all the odds ! It is 2.5 years that I am abroad and we only had tel conversation , she rings EVERYDAY !

How should i break up the relation in a way that not to hurt her kind heart, with minimal suffering, please help me.

p.s. Also being abroad for long time i need to have a relation and dont want to cheat.

Many tax

Many thanks to all who helped me with their answers. All are great and i hope i can do it well and not regret because she is just a diamond inside [i am not sure if i can find another diamond in outside world :( ].
I came here to study and work and if possible to bring them too. Sometimes i helped them financially and am very glad to continue that and actually an important thing that worries me is that she will not accept it anymore. There were a lot of dreams we would think to make them true which now when she reminds me them makes it more painful. I really hate myself of doing this, but it seems i have to.

Answer 1

honney not matter what you sya shes going to be hurt, but the way you say it will help, start of by giving hints then go into it, make sure she knows you trust her and thta you di not have anyone else, explain how you feel just be hinest ask her if she has any questions she wants to know why you are doing it, it will be hard on your account too, make sure you thin k it over before you phone be sure whta you are going to say but try and not say it as if you had palnned the whiole thing out, but you must eb honest with her because if you continue beiogn wioth her for any longer its only goign to cause more pain and being aboard when you do it will help her egt over you as it will mean you wont hsave to see each other

Answer 2

There's really no nice way to do it. However, if you are certain of this course of action, do it cleanly and completely. Don't leave her with any false hopes. Don't cave in if she asks you to try one more time, IF YOU ARE SURE.

I don't think you really want to leave this woman. You speak highly of her and say you think you need a "more appropriate" partner. You also mention pressure from your family. These are not good reasons to break off a 5 year relationship.

I'm going to guess here that during your 2.5 year abroad you have met someone else and don't want to admit it. Whether or not you've cheated isn't the point. The point is that you want to, but don't want to hurt her by cheating. Why is she not with you abroad? Why are you abroad for so long? I think you need to look at your own part in this before you cut her loose.

Answer 3

You will just have to explain to her that you want more from a relationship then conversation!
Stop stringing her along - it will hurt her anyway you tell her - so the longer you leave it the worse it is going to get. There is no easy way to end a relationship - but having only talked for 2.5 years surely she would want more than that - or are you helping her financially?
Just be kind and firm and tell her exactly what you want - a relationship is a two way thing.
Hope this helps a little - good luck

Answer 4

um, spells? okay.. ask your girlfriend if she's cheating on you while she's NOT under a spell. if she says she not you know you can't trust her and then show her that you have evidence of her cheating. if she says she is then use that as an excuse. i don't know why you want to break up 'nicely' with her, in my opinion, she doesn't deserve that. but, what you should do is get her alone, preferably in a public place if you want to stop her from making a scene (unless she's the type TO make scenes) then tell her that she's hurt you and that you want to be with someone that will be yours and ONLY YOURS.

Answer 5

first off if you really cared about her that much you wouldn't of moved so far away.She should of realised this wasn't a meaningful relationship so shes just been kidding herself.She obviously loves you and you should of told her along time ago that this wasn't what you wanted instead of stringing her along.I think you should just tell her,she'll have to stay strong for her childrens sake and she'll have them to keep her mind off of you.Try not to have any contact after don't answer her calls it'll be easier for her to let go of something thats not there.You shouldn't use the fact that other people don't think your right for each other as an excuse especially when you break up with her as she'll think that it's not your decision and you really do have feelings for her.She and her children deserve a proper family life she'll realise that shes been silly when she finds someone else who she can trust will stick by her.

Answer 6

Yeah just be honest. She will be upset I'm sure, but will appreciate your honesty in the future. I know I would. Just make sure you are breaking up for the right reasons and not because your family think its for the best. Good luck.

Answer 7

I think honesty is the best policy and you should tell her exactly what you told us, no need to beat around the bush, If someone were to break up with me I would rather be told the whole truth. I hope it all works out.

Answer 8

hey! u seem like a genuine person.... If I were you, I would definitly not call ot off over the phone... no way..... you should be with her in person..... and just tell her all of the things u said above.... truth never hurts.... well, on the long run , I mean.....Good Luck!

Answer 9

it is not always practical in life to have this kind of relation to succed . tell her that u can be friends and you will stand by her in any problem , help her genuienly like a friend. tell her marriage is not possible .when you meet somebody whom u want to marry tell her about this affair and both of u become this girls friend. because what i feel is she wants support , some one on whom she can rely on ,so be her friend.

Answer 10

haha there is never a nice way!! girls are oversensitive so the quicker you do it the quicker you'll feel better. tell her what you wrote here and how you need your space away from her. be open and honest don't ever make up lies. good luck