I've been married to my husband for 9 years now. I'm currently 28. Marriage had been generally good but over the course of our time together, our "flame" had been slowly diminishing. My husband is a good man, but I'm no longer in love with him and am not sexually interested in him any more... This as a back drop, I recently started having an affair with my 1st-cousin. Growing up, my cousin and I were very close and we previously had serious intimate/sexual relationship on and off for several years in my teen years before meeting my husband. My cousin is single and he tells me he that he has always loved me and he wants to be with me (first cousin marriage is legal where I live). I have never loved another guy as much as I love him (never even felt this way about my husband even in the beginning of our relationship), and want to start a family with him. I'm not sure what to do...I really don't want to hurt my husband but I also can't live like this either. We have no kids.
2007-05-05 23:07:12 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If you're really that sure about it, then it's time to make your move. Get a divorce and move on with your life. There's no easy way out of this. If you leave him, you husband will be hurt. But if you have a long affair and get caught, you'll hurt him many times more.
2007-05-05 23:13:36 · answer #1 · answered by rohak1212 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I do not envy you and your situation. Remember that if you wan tot have a family with your first cousin you will run a great risk of inbreeding issues as well as the torment your children would ensue when their classmates make fun of them for your situation. Sometimes it is easier to love a family member than it is a stranger because they know us so well and we feel so comfortable with them, this allows us to be intimate (not sexually but emotionally) and helps to ignite that flame. First cousin marriage is dangerous and then what if you find that when you have what you want it isn't as exciting because now it is no longer forbidden.
Consider the fact that your cousin is quite possibly your best friend and you run a great risk of losing that forever.
The problem with most marriages today is that people marry out of lust, they expect that feeling (spark) to last forever the way it did on day one, that just isn't the case. Marriage takes work and eventually complacency happens and you begin to live life together rather than ride the roller coaster of sexual desire. You have to work to keep a relationship going and the excitement alive and there will always be lulls, and greener grass. Consider all that you risk.
That being said, if you do not want to be with your husband and you are and want to sleep with other men, you owe it to him to leave. Let him find someone who will love him and be faithful while you seek what makes you happy. Isn't it only fair that he be happy too?
2007-05-05 23:16:53 · answer #2 · answered by SheSpawn 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Tales from Tennessee?
See the reason why the first cousin thing is so taboo is because his parents and your parents share blood. Maybe it's the taboo of being first cousin's that is creating such a heightened sense of feelings? Regardless, you should do what you feel in your heart is right. Loves rare en ought in this world and you have to give it a shot. Eight years is a pretty good stint in a marriage and I'm sure neither you or your husband are the same people you were when you first married.
I'd say give it a shot but seriously, have your children scanned for birth defects prenatal.
2007-05-05 23:17:41 · answer #3 · answered by kharmageddon74 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You will have to make a decision, either you divorce your husband to be with your cousin or you stay with your husband and try to stay away from your cousin as much as you can.
I am going through a very similar situation and I have decided to stay with my husband because I still love him and I can see a future with him. You have to work hard to bring the "sparks" back in your marriage if you decide to stay in and it is not easy but you will get there if you both want this. They always say "the grass looks greener on the other side of the fence" and maybe it´s true.
I hope you can make up your mind, be strong and once you make a decision don´t go back.
Good luck to you!
2007-05-05 23:16:14 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
TBH IMO..
I think you should end both relationships but try to remain friendly.
Dating you first cousin in basically incest and if you ever have any children then they are likely to be deformed, due to a lack of variation in genes.
Staying with someone you no longer love is pointless.
So why not try women?
2007-05-05 23:11:52 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
wow why does this story sound a lil familiar?? haha not. i think you should marry the guy you want to marry your happiness is most important. do it 4 urself. and where the hell are you living that that's legal?!
2007-05-05 23:10:56 · answer #6 · answered by almost17 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi what’s up, how are u doing? Good, well talking about me, who was so involved in the things of the world? You name it I was there. I messed up my life, I did my way around, enjoyed my life had no clue were my life was leading me. I had no peace in my heart. I tried many places to chase around life to attain peace.
Till someday, someone reached out to me, and showed me, Christ’s. Sin was always on my mind, it was really hard to get my hands off. If u been there u see what I am trying to tell u. God loves you so dearly that he sent his son for you and me, so that we may be saved. If you are going through a problem or battling out an addiction in your life for a long time. I don’t know about u, but God wants to heal u today, right now and right away.
If u would like to have peace in your heart. Pray this prayer and ask Christ to come into your life. Pray it out loud, “Dear Lord Jesus I believe you are the son of God. I believe you died for me. I repent to you of all my sins, wash me with your precious blood right now. I ask you to come into my heart. Be the Saviour of my heart & soul. In the name of Jesus I pray Amen”.
Hallelujah Believe you are saved and you are going to heaven. You need not worry about life any more, because Christ is in control of your life. Do share to somebody about your experience and get excited about life, be blessed. I appreciate your time. God bless you, if you want to contact me, be free to mail me at philips_bob@yahoo.com. Remember God cares about your life. You are precious to him.
With Love: Bob
2007-05-05 23:10:48 · answer #7 · answered by philips_bob 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
"As the incestuous world turns"
In the famous words of Jeff Foxworthy, "Then, you just might be a red-neck"
2007-05-05 23:10:01 · answer #8 · answered by Jack 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This has nothing to do with if it´s legal or not it is morally wrong. You should be ashamed of yourself.....
2007-05-06 00:57:49 · answer #9 · answered by Ladybird 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
where do you live that's hella crazy!good luck
2007-05-05 23:10:33 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋