I have a problem my wife refuses to be submissive to me, in India culture it is very important for the wife to take care of her husband. But she refuses to cook for me, what do I do? Is physical action the answer or do I just threaten...Do american men do it too?
2007-05-05 22:34:48 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
we are not like that in america
2007-05-05 22:39:23 · answer #1 · answered by skcs11 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You might not like my answer because you're an Indian and I am a Pakistani. I am not being a racist and I do not wish to attack your personality, but if any of my friends living in my culture would have asked me this question my reply would have been the same.
First of all, you need to get things under control its your job. Just being a husband in an Indian culture does not mean that your wife is a slave to you. Keep your ego under control, you guys have a lot of that, and your culture and principles have always been there to give your ego a feedback. It looks good in your indian movies about being faithful and submissive in a relationship, but unfortunately its the hype you guys create. You should not expect the same from your wife, try to think with today's model of living, and not just what has been up in your mythologies about women. Be LIBERAL!
Are you a lazy fat *ss sitting all day in front of the tv and asking her to feed you after every 15 minutes?
Have you ever considered her to be a human being?
Have you ever thought of giving her security in between the both of you?
Do you give her the basic rights that are in your CULTURE, that women and men are equal and both men and women have rights on each other, NOT in terms of body and sex only? Or have you been just looking at one side of the coin?
Are you biased? Have you analysed if or any mistakes or problems you might be creating which has resulted in her reacting this way.
Why do you guys think that with your wives you have 2 rules to follow.
#1. Honey I'm always right.
#2. If Im wrong? Follow rule #1.
Even thinking or intending to use physical action or any physical abuse against a woman is not what a man should think of, a f.a.g might.
2007-05-06 09:01:07 · answer #2 · answered by alishahasani 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
FIRST U ASK UR SELF, R U HER FATHER? R U ABLE 2 WALK ON WATER? IF THE ANSWER IS NO, then maybe just maybe u r not suppose 2 control her? maybe u should love her and she will love u back by doing things 4 u/ like cooking ur food! What do u do 4 her that she has 2 be submissive now matter the stupid culture! BE 4 REAL!! Out in public she can make pretend ur culture, 4 society's sake and at home u can LOVE HER 4 WHO SHE REALLY IS UR WIFE, AND U ARE LUCKY 2 HAVE GOTTEN THIS FAR!!!
2007-05-06 06:00:42 · answer #3 · answered by momzrckz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have got rebellion on your hands, my man.
Now is when a wise man will go to his wife and say "I'm sorry." , "I'm sorry we got off on the wrong foot..." "What can I do to help?"
She knows she's supposed to be sumissive, dear. She also knows that she can allow you to abuse her, or find a way to protest being abused. Think about it. If you were her, what would you trust and admire about yourself? Nothing? Well, you do have a problem.
Try a little respect. She'll take her place. She wants it, but she wants it the right way. Where she knows you treat her lovingly. Like a husband does his wife.
Take another look at the marriages that are good. Have conversation with those husbands. Why is it so easy for them?
2007-05-06 07:26:33 · answer #4 · answered by Puresnow 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why did you marry her? If it was an arranged marrage, you are in some serious trouble. Cultures from other parts of the world really do not apply here in the U.S. Do you REALLY think a woman in Texas w/ 100 degree weather is going to cover up from head to toe just becuase her religion or her husband SAYS SO? Remember, America- Land of the free.
2007-05-06 05:43:09 · answer #5 · answered by BlascoMan 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That just tells us that you have a flaw in your culture.
Did you ever consider that your wife is a human being? Not your personal slave or servant? She has a mind. She is able to think and make rational decisions. She is not dependent on you to make decisions for her. Her sole purpose in life isn't to serve you, wait on you, and do your housework.
Are you lazy? Can you not pick up a pot and cook for yourself? Perhaps if you were kind to her, respectful to her, and treated her like a wife, rather than servile property put there to serve you, maybe she would willingly serve you, rather than just do it because you coerce her.
Any American man who knows how to treat a woman, treats her with kindness, equity, and respect. Sure, we have some narrow thinking people like you, but they're not the majority. Perhaps you need to change your customs, and then you would have women who WANT to be with you, and not just there because they have to be.
2007-05-06 05:40:34 · answer #6 · answered by C J 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Some thing wrong with both of you. Indian culture do speak about husband's duties. Wife is not a subservient or made servant. Have mutual understanding. Don't behave with her with cruelty. Law relating penal offenses is very strong and you both will spoil yours and children's career. Mind it.Men anywhere in universe do like and male animals also do it. Men is a weak sex doing nothing except sex.
2007-05-06 05:43:01 · answer #7 · answered by baba 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dude... am of hindu beliefs also.. but uv gt to chnage now. we'r no longer the old indian customs where the wife waits for her husband to finish eating so that she can eat. is ur wife well educated? perhaps she has a problem with cooking, she can't cook, or is afraid of it. try to find out. if ur well off, try to find a cook to cook u dinner.
DONT try physical action, it will end up causing problem in your married life.
gud luck.
2007-05-06 05:44:26 · answer #8 · answered by DarshaN 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
get your sorry self back to Bangladesh. Perhaps you can find yourself a better wife who would cook for you. But you are pathetic as a man to be thinking of using physical action. Coward!
2007-05-06 05:41:38 · answer #9 · answered by Mint_Always 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Are you living in America? If so, in Western Society thats not how it works, we have more equal roles in relationships. Why dont you get her to do things for you by doing things for her as well, this way, if you treat her respectfully she will do so back. If she is happy in her relationship with you she will love to look after you, as well as you do the same to her. Thats pretty much how it works (or should do) in Western Society.
If you threaten her she will only resent or fear you and thats not a good relationship.
Good luck mate, do the right thing, get her to look after you by looking after her and making her feel special and she will do the same to you!
2007-05-06 05:41:28 · answer #10 · answered by daisy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't control your wife. You don't "make her" submit to you. If your wife choses to follow your culture and submit to you then that is for HER to do.
Never physically harm your wife. Never threaten your wife. Order take-out.
2007-05-06 05:38:53 · answer #11 · answered by grumpyetal 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋