"Why would anybody choose to be gay?!"?

Question

Is anybody else tired of hearing this stab at diplomacy employed in attempts to fend off homophobic jerks who question the legitimacy of born-identity? Sexual orientation is not a man made decision, but given a choice, I would not *choose* to be any other way. Being [a gay teenager, in particular] has its hardships but so does everything else. The fact that my orientation and so called "chosen lifestyle" is constantly up for debate gets tiring, but concerns me more than anything. How is it that I am a underclassmen in high school and yet I have more insight to life than most adults? I honestly cannot think of anything so frustrating as people who have to categorize every last thing and accentuate our differences rather than similarities. Additionally, when did the Bible become a reputable source for one-sided arguments? In my eyes, religion respectably equates to primitive bias, not something which to model our supposedly progressive twenty-first century society after. Thoughts?

typo *an underclassman

Answer 1

I know it's not a choice, but frankly, if it was, I wouldn't choose to be gay or bi. But then again, I've yet to experience the good things about it. I haven't exactly experienced the bad either, not personally at least. It'd just be easier to be straight at my age. No one has a problem with me kissing a girl in public or taking a girl to homecoming. But God forbid I find a guy I'd like to hold hands with.

Answer 2

As believers (of any of the Monotheistic religions), we are all called to the worship of God/Allah, but, there are those that have the heart and the compassion and the determination that can and do lead man into the "light". Many that have felt the internal promptings to provide their lives for the service of God/Allah, have to often walked away. Thus, in the Qur'an, there is a verse that says "Allah guides those He will down the right path and lets go astray those that he also chooses" (paraphrased). Having a free-will - God/Allah will not force someone to make the decision to follow or live for Him. So, those of us that answer that call, we are usually the "chosen" ones. :)

Answer 3

"Why would anybody choose to be gay?!"?
"Is anybody else tired of hearing this stab at diplomacy employed in attempts to fend off homophobic jerks who question the legitimacy of born-identity?"
Yes. I'm also tired of "and when did you choose to be straight?" I think a better one than that would be "so, you're telling me that you're attracted to people of your sex, but manage to control those desires." But I think that the best answer of all would be "what difference does it make if it IS a choice?" Then, of course, the whole bible this-and-that and harm to society crap would be brought up. Then the whole thing devolves into a bible-interpretation debate. I'm afraid at that point I'd have to just say "1) not everyone believes in your god, and the country we live in is not a theocracy, and 2) not everyone who believes in your god agrees with your interpretation of the bible. This is not a discussion about theology and metaphysics. Period."

"Sexual orientation is not a man made decision, but given a choice, I would not *choose* to be any other way."
As I said, I feel that whether it is a choice or not is something that need not be open to debate. If it is a decision, it is not a conscious one, and why should either my time or my or society's resources be wasted in trying to reverse something that's entirely harmless to me or anyone else, considering that my time and the planet's resources are finite. I'm beginning to feel like the whole idea of debating the matter is a waste of time. If there are individual homosexuals who live ordinary lives and gay groups that do good deeds in the community, that should be enough to prove that homosexuals are not demons and devils. Forget about debating things that aren't negotiable and therefore aren't debatable; but it does still seem that the bogus crap publicized by the Pat Robertsons et al has to be publicly answered, sadly. Perhaps the best answer is at the ballot box, however.

"Being [a gay teenager, in particular] has its hardships but so does everything else. The fact that my orientation and so called "chosen lifestyle" is constantly up for debate gets tiring, but concerns me more than anything."
Amen. Hang in there, it's much better now than it was years ago. At least it's something that can be spoken of now, and hopefully that's one step forward. It wasn't fifty years ago. But, as I said, reading this and thinking about it has pretty much brought me to the point that I'm not going to debate it anymore.

"How is it that I am an underclassmen in high school and yet I have more insight to life than most adults?"
That's your experience with the adults you've come into contact with. There's a bigger world than that, and you'll be an adult soon yourself- something for you to look forward to.

"I honestly cannot think of anything so frustrating as people who have to categorize every last thing and accentuate our differences rather than similarities."
Truly, the attitude that everything has to be analyzed, categorized, and judged IS tiresome.

"Additionally, when did the Bible become a reputable source for one-sided arguments?"
The key to that is "one-sided"; i.e., it's not a bonafide argument but a flat condemnation. Again, why debate?- simply reply that the argument is not about theology and metaphysics.

"In my eyes, religion respectably equates to primitive bias, not something which to model our supposedly progressive twenty-first century society after."
Agreed. Nevertheless, I am going to join a church again. One which completely accepts and will even ordain and marry homosexuals- the United Church of Christ. Call it infiltration, call it hypocrisy, if you will, I don't care.

Answer 4

Yeah, I'm tired of hearing the inane and hateful question. Trust me, I've been hearing it a lot longer than you. I do not know why this need to hate is present, for we allegedly have reputations as easy going, superficial, people.

I believe that the rampant homophobia that arose in the last 15 years in this country reveals a fundamental need to hate, segregate and punish, that exists in our social fabric. To be fair, it is partly attributable to the AIDS epidemic, which, of course has made the medical and pharmaceutical industries billions of dollars.

Historically, and often hysterically, the Irish and Chinese immigrants were the first recipients. Italians weren't noticeably popular 100-150 years ago, either. Why do we make lame jokes about a people as cultured as the Polish?Did I mention Jews? Even cats were despised then. But since change is inevitable, different minorities have taken turns being recipients of this base impulse.

Poor America. First she had to integrate her long suffering Blacks into the mainstream making it strongly taboo to discriminate based on race. This eliminated a significant target for hatred, as those who indulged themselves faced social and economic sanctions.

Then, lo and behold, the Soviet Union collapsed decades later. Suddenly Russian communists were no more and in one fell swoop the USA lost a powerful enemy, leaving a profound void behind. We were no longer in imminent threat of invasion by Ivan. In fact, American culture invaded Russia!

That left America's gays, who have played more than a small role in American culture since the advent of Hollywood and the culture of entertainment, to be the recipient of this hatred and intolerance.

Nothing illuminates the American capacity for hypocricy like our relationship with the Bible. There was a reason England kicked the odious Puritans out of their society into the New World: they were anti-human.

But I suppose it's all one more glaring sign that our society is de-evolving

Answer 5

I know what you're saying, but I also think you could be taking the "Why would anybody choose to be gay?" statement the wrong way.

Personally, if I had the choice, I'd always choose to be exactly as I am now- pansexual. I don't think that when people use that defense that they're saying that it's gross or bad or whatever to be gay, but that it's still not a choice. Rather, they're saying that in our current society, where people get harrassed, teased, mistreated, hurt, or even killed, just for being gay, nobody would choose that life and those odds. At least, that's how I usually read betweent the lines.

Yeah, it's sort of a bad argument- we can think of much better, I think, when fending off the homophobes.

Answer 6

I would just like to address what was a few posts up... Where a polite individual states that gay people have 'gender identity problems' .

I'm afraid that Sexuality and Gender Identity are two seperate things altogether. You can most definately be gay, without wanting, at all, to change your gender or question that you are a man or woman. In fact, MOST gays are quite the opposite.

Believe me, they want to have as little to do with the opposite gender as humanely possible, when it comes to body-parts.

What you believe to be 'gay-ness' is, in-fact, something else entirely... a condition called Transgenderism. Gender Identity Disorder, as it is "Officially" referred to, is a condition in which an individual identifies themselves as the gender opposite of what they were born. Their sexuality has no creedance at all in the diagnosis (for it is considered a mental illness... a disease, much as Homosexuality was before it was taken out of the Psychological books in the 70's).

You can be BOTH transgendered and gay... but being transgendered doesn't mean you ARE gay, and being gay does not mean you are transgendered.

Just thought I'd try and clear that up a little.

----

I have to say that I am impressed with your ability to articulate your question so well. Congratulations on being more educated and articulate than the average human being!

I believe that one does not have a choice to whom they are attracted, BUT ... gays _DO_ choose a sort of life-style. Due to stress, a lack of acceptance by peers, parents and society at large. Lives of excess, flamboyant and often over-the-top behavior when it's not exactly necessary, drugs, cutting, and hateful things such as sleeping around to spread diseases to 'straights' who deserve it. _THAT_ is the choice. Not whether they are attracted to men and women.

Unfortunately, there are just as many Gays out there with a vendetta as there are bible-thumping Christians.

I am, gratefully, not one of those. I am happy to be who I am, and it saddens me to see people with the "Family" making poor choices like that. This isn't a fight that can be won with Vendettas or one that can be avoided with drinking or drugs.

I guess, if I had to say one thing about it all, I'd choose the old cliche' "Can't we all just get along?"

Answer 7

the bible was written in many old languages and when they get mistranslated to English these people assume the biased translations are correct and then further take phrases out of context to increase the effect.

example look at the first guy that posted in this question. I've already discussed this in another question but his statistics are useless. for starters it is impossible to take an accurate statistical sampling of gay tendencies when most people wouldn't admit to being gay nevermind take an interview. grats "Joe C" on wasting our time and getting minimized :P

i wouldn't say that you have more insight than most adults... well i hope... they just don't bother you.

Answer 8

Ok. The ones who think its an option and a choice...no, its not, that is supossed to be clear already.
But wait, its not an option, but its not genetics neither. Its an inconcient set-up, an orientation your brain take at young age. Its the ambient with your parents, not their genes.

Answer 9

I just had a good laugh at Joe C, who's "facts" are over 10 years old. Bravo, science and culture haven't evolved at all since then.

I think I'm magically cured of my gayness because of all that info.

Oh wait, nope, still there. Damn I can't wish it away.

I agree with you, I can't understand the oppression, it's not modern.

Move to Canada, we have legal same-sex marriage.

Answer 10

Okay, there is this thing called genetics, that is what makes people gay just like it makes you straight, unfortunately you have only yourself and your folks poor parenting skills to blame for your ignorance and bigotry. Try something new and different for a change, growing as a person and embrassing new ideas, it is a blast