My friend has been with her for man for 7 years.......... he smacked her in the back of the head today for no good reason. This is the first time he has ever done this (so she says)............ Normally I would tell her to leave him asap, but they have been together for so ling and nothing like this has happened before. I don't know how to advise her.
He is normally gentle caring and kind, I don't know what could have caused it and do you think it will ahppen again?
The are both really upset about it.
Apparently he fell to the floor in tears after it happend apologising.
I wanty to tell her to leave. Is this the right thing to do?
2007-05-05 16:43:40 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
She rang me in tears asking for advice - she wants me to tell her what i think, and what should she do. I don't normally get involved with other peoples problems
2007-05-05 16:52:45 · update #1
when a man hits a woman for no good reason (or any reason) it's time to leave.I don't care how sweet and kind he is if he hit her once he will more than likely hit her again,But it has to be her decision. you can advise her all you want. but one of the worst thing you can do is get into the middle of a friend's relationship. Best thing to do is let her know no matter what she decides to do you will always be there for her.
2007-05-05 16:56:47 · answer #1 · answered by sambo_carrisan 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, this will happen again. It escalates. My first marriage was very abusive. I cannot tell you how many times my ex would hit me in a drunken rage and then wake up the next morning and cry for hours when he saw my black eye or the bruises on me. All the time, he apologized over and over and swore it would never happen again and it always did. We were together for nearly seven years and finally, I had to leave. It was getting worse and worse, because the root of domestic violence is their insecurity and low self-esteem. Each episode of violence increases their insecurity and low self-esteem, thereby ensuring it will happen again. He really needs counseling, but the statistics are not good for batterers. She should leave, but few women do after the first episode because the guys seem so torn up about it. She definitely should get counseling on her own to help her sort out her feelings and her options. Most insurance plans will cover this counseling and if theirs doesn't, they should call the mental health services department in their city or county and find out what services they offer. Many of them offer counseling on a sliding scale with qualified therapists to people who are unable to pay.
2007-05-05 16:55:27 · answer #2 · answered by Emily Dew 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My guess is that this is not the first time. As for her saying he fell to the floor apologizing, maybe he did, but probably not. When someone is abused they tend to cover for the abuser. They love that person and don't want others to think bad of their abuser. They also don't want others to think they are stupid for putting up with the abuse or to constantly tell them they should leave. You could tell your friend to leave, but she won't until she is ready. Good luck to both of you!
2007-05-05 16:49:35 · answer #3 · answered by mssandrar03 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Has there been any bumps or bruises on her in the past that she seemed to have a lame excuse for?
Anywho, for now, don't say anything to her. Just watch for the warning signs of abuse. If you see the signs, THEN you could advise her to leave, if no signs, then stay out of it.
2007-05-05 17:02:57 · answer #4 · answered by sweetgurl13069 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You seem like a nice friend. But this is real it cannot be easily solved on the computer. At school we are learning about a place called "My Sister's Place" it is to help abused women and children. God bless.
2007-05-05 16:48:04 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
When a relationship get to the point of striking the partner, then it is over. If strike once, they will strike again. Something is wrong, that tears and apologies won't cure.
DE
2007-05-06 17:54:55 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
If she stays, then make sure EVERYTHING is documented. I'm talking, Date, time, reason, where struck, location. Keep this in a safe secret place. If it ever happens again, leave.
2007-05-05 16:51:56 · answer #7 · answered by johN p. aka-Hey you. 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she asks for your opinion, think before you render it. It's their business; let them deal with it for now. But don't stop thinking; do try to come up with possible ways to fix the problem outside of just flat-out leaving. Okay?
2007-05-05 16:48:47 · answer #8 · answered by knight2001us 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
yup. he just took a little longer than the norm to settle into the violent behavior mode. now she's in hook, line and sinker. you could tell her to get out but she probably won't listen to you, so just advise her to and keep your ears and heart open.
2007-05-05 16:52:25 · answer #9 · answered by just curious 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
been there , and believe me when i tell you guys like that only get worse. she needs to get away from that creep before something bad happens , and it will, eventually if she stays long enough . good luck
2007-05-05 16:54:31 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋