My dad is seeing another woman behind my moms back. They have been together for 37 years and married for 33. My mom has Multiple sclerosis and cannot do alot of things anymore and that has upset my dad. I'm stuck in the middle and dont know what to do. Should i tell my mom and make things worse and have my dad hate me or should i keep my mouth shut about the situation,
2007-05-05 16:35:59 · 37 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I am 33 and my mom has no clue this is happening. I am upset about the whole situation
2007-05-05 16:41:58 · update #1
Yikes, sticky situation. As a 33 yr old woman I don't think I'd tell mom. Obviously she already has enough stress with her medical condition. Maybe approach Dad about what you think is going on and let him know that you dont' approve. Again, this depends on your age also. Maybe talk to a trusted friend or family member. Someone who knows you AND them would be able to help better than someone who is truly a stranger to the situation. Hope things improve.
2007-05-05 16:40:42 · answer #1 · answered by pcchocoholic 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes i can't believe how cruel people can be. Your Mom has it really bad, however she is still the woman he vowed to cherish through sickness and health. When she needs him the most he bails. So to disagree with the others that have sympathy for him, I think he is just an insensitive jerk.
Talk to your Mother about their relationship, and get feelings as to wither or not she suspects already, and then be there for her.
But Man or Woman anyone who can do this after 33 years of marriage has problems with Fidelity to start with.
I am sorry you are in the middle of this, but you have to be your Mom's anchor in this storm.
My Mom passed away two years ago, and my Dad is hinting that he thinks it is time for him to start a new life. If he truly loved her would two years be enough to just move on to someone else?
2007-05-05 16:53:14 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey this is a very uncomfortable situation. Talk to your Dad about this matter. Let him know how much this makes you feel like you are stuck in the middle and that you are thinking about telling your Mom. You might be surprised to find out what your Dad has to say.
2007-05-05 16:43:20 · answer #3 · answered by Peglife 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is tough when a child (regardless of age) gets caught in the middle of something like this. It will do your mother no good to hear this from you, and your relationship with your dad will deteriorate also. I would not say anything to your mother, but I WOULD tell your father how you feel. Ultimately, even as much as it is hurting you, this is a situation between your mother and father and I do not see how your getting involved in it will help ANYONE involved. Keep on being the best person you can be for your mother. Maybe distancing yourself from your father may help him realize his behavior is unacceptable.
2007-05-05 16:48:42 · answer #4 · answered by Katykins 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh, wow, that's just awful. Your mom's illness and fragility make this situation even more complicated and painful than it would be otherwise. I think you should talk to your Dad and try to convince him to break off the affair and/or fess up to your Mom. Your Mom has a right to know what's going on, and the longer she's in the dark about things, the more hurt she'll be when she finds out. It should not be your responsibility to clean up your Dad's mess, but he obviously needs to be pushed in the right direction. Shame him into it.
2007-05-05 16:38:35 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous Coward 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Mom is sick don't damage her anymore,have a talk with dad,and another thing mom might have told dad to start going out because she knows she can't do what she use to do,sad but some times this happens.
2007-05-05 16:41:44 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
What a tough spot your in. Please talk to your dad before you do any thing else. Let him have a chance to explain and you tell him your feelings about the situation. Dont keep it to yourself it will lead to lots of resentment and bad feeling towards your father. Be honest with him and if what you think happened happened than you have every right to be upset with your dad.
2007-05-05 16:53:01 · answer #7 · answered by grizleygal 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your father made a promise to your mother when they married....to take care of her and love her in sickness and health. It is not your mother's fault she is ill. Your dad has put you in a very bad position. I would tell your dad he that you will give him 24 hours to tell her or you will. I really feel bad for you to be put in this type of situation. If your dad no longer wants to be in the marriage, then he should file for divorce and not just cheat on your mother behind her back...that is LOW.
2007-05-05 16:50:25 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whatever you do, don't tell your mom. She either already has a clue about it but if she doesn't know, telling her could only upset her more and you don't need to cause any more undue pain for her, especially since she has MS.
If this is bothering you a lot, try talking to your dad first and tell him how you feel.
2007-05-05 16:51:05 · answer #9 · answered by Anna 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is a difficult position for you to be in. Sorry to hear that your Dad has put you in the middle of it. You could try talking to your dad about it and let him know that you are very uncomfortable about it. If that does not help go talk to your minister or someone close to you to see how they think you should handle this.
2007-05-05 16:42:09 · answer #10 · answered by susie 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋