Is really being a gay a choice??

Question

I certainly will not believe it! I have a friend who is really a homo inside but do not accept himself as he is. He still go out with girls but ended up in hurting those girls because he really does not feel anything for them.
He sometimes cry that he can't take it anymore, and that he wants to be a normal guy and all, and I pity him for that. Now I know that being a gay is really hard and painful because the society thinks them as a different race and isolates them from the so-called "real society." religiously speaking, It is also painful for those gays who actually are so religious but was discriminated for who they are by homo-haters who even had the nerve to call themselves christians. And about Gay lifestyle? people says that gay lifestyle is not right but have it even occured to you that this lifestyle become of existence coz people discriminate them and so they created a life that will make them Happy WITHOUT PROPER GUIDANCE from the so called NORMAL PEOPLE or heteros as you

Being gay is not a choice and I can't belive some wonders if gays do actually loves as normals do....... Guys, that is why being gay is hard!! because you are actually loving someone who thinks you are disgusting!! I hope you wonder how painful it is! telling yourself that you don't even want to be gay but youcan't help loving that person. SELF-CONTROL right?? they are also people, they also get tired of loving someone in secret, just like heteros do... It is so painful and sad.... it hurts a lot you know?!!! We are not a superhuman just because heteros say that we are different we must deal with it...... If every one still thinks gay or lesbian is a choice and they must be burned in hell for it then (I really don' want to say this but I am burning with emotions) I HOPE that one day, you will wake up and realize you become gay so you will now how hard it is to be one!!! (ohh that is too satisfying) :))

Answer 1

If I were you, I wouldn't take on defining what you "think" society thinks of homosexuality. It's a sticky conversation when you start speaking for other people.

I know for a fact that I never made a conscious choice to be a homosexual, and further, it is my opinion that it's causal is genetic.

Answer 2

My pat answer for people who say being gay is a choice, is that if someone can turn it on and off then the same must hold for straights. When a straight man says that he will go out and have sex with another man I'll believe it is a choice. But I have proved to myself that it isn't since I have been gay for 53 years and I was married for 10. Let's just say that if there were ever some children from that relationship it was by emaculate conception. !0 years and no sex. My ex was beyond frustrated.

Also I love to tell the world that if being gay was a choice then it is interesting that people would choose to be ridiculed, discriminated against and treated like dirt because that is what makes it so fun.

If you live in a city you should check to see if there are any Metropolitan Community Churches in the area. These are gay churchs that provide understanding from a gay point of view. Unitarian Universalist churches also usually have gays who attend and they are very open and loving churches.

I have never been a Christian so I am not the least bit bothered by what these people teach. Tell your friend that if he can't find any of those churches near, then he might want to move somewhere that he can feel safe to me himself. Often it is much better to move to a new place rather than cpme out in your home town. I was lucky that my parents loved me as is and I lived in a large city where I could make a great circle of friends to act as my support.

Answer 3

I think people are born with a sexual preference. Some of our preferences are hard wired into our heads more so than others. In people who are borderline either way (or bisexual), I think your environment can point you one direction or another.

What your friend must realize is that if he romantically, emotionally, and physically prefers men that he is gay whether he's trying to date women or not. I hope for his sake that he does accept the person he is and stop trying to fit a square shape through a round hole. There is NOTHING wrong with being gay. I'm glad he explored other avenues -- but now that he's found that is not who is he, I hope he can love himself as he is and find a person he can be happy with.

Answer 4

Then he should get help; there are all kinds of groups willing to help - even with financial payment for whatever treatment is necessary; also guidance, friendship.
There is no reason to remain in pain from a
condition that is psychiatric in nature. There is help available. Its just a damn shame that instead of allowing these people who are in pain to get the help they need - people instead push it under a rug and insist that the entire world pretend its just a cool lifestyle you could have. Its a dis-service to all those who are in pain from the homosexual diagnosis. If gays "love" so damned much then why don't they try to help each other instead of dishing out lie after lie after lie. Nobody wants to hurt gay people, or disrespect them. But you cannot say murder is okay because jeffrey dahmer insists you do.
Homosexuality is taking the circle of life, and rearranging it into a straight line. A line that ends.

Answer 5

First, you should tell your friend that he isn't abnormal. He's as normal as anyone else. Being gay is just less common, not less normal. Same with heterosexuality is more common, not more normal.

We're all the same, we all fall into different categories on a larger sexual orientation spectrum, and that's okay.

But secondly, watch out for your friend, talk to him, depression is very common in gay people, so is the risk of suicide. So please help him through it the best you can, tell him all the words you told us, it may make a great impact on him.

Answer 6

Being gay is not a choice. Everyone I know who is gay has been gay as long as they can remember. It might have taken them until their 20s or later to admit it - even to themselves, but when they look back, there are signs of being gay as far back as they can remember, even as 3 year olds in a lot of cases. That doesn't mean they acted on their feelings or were sexual in any way as little kids, it just means they knew they were different than other people in some way and at some point realized they were attracted to members of the same sex rather than the opposite sex.

Answer 7

Peh.. For some it might be :| But I know I was a child and I knew I liked guys when I was a child.. How could I choose at such a young age...- Talking 4,5,6?? So I'm CONVINCED that I was born gay, and when people try and tell me I wasn't I call them idiots and tell them they don't know anything!

Answer 8

If he's religious, particularly Christian, click the link in my sources and share it with him... If he doesn't have a printer, it'd be nice if you print it for him if you could or let him come to your house one day.

You need to talk to him and tell him that no matter how he feels, you're still his friend. Explain to him that it's unhealthy to deny his feelings and assure him that being gay isn't a problem.

One thing I remember when I learned of my feelings is the want to have someone who understood me and that I could talk to. I never recieved that... That forced me to be very introspectful. While my grades went up, the number of my friends decreased BEFORE they even knew I was bisexual just because I didn't talk to them.

Please be his one true friend in his time of need... And to bluntly answer your question: no, homosexuality is not a choice. It's vastly believed to be predetermined by genetics.

Good luck to you, and especially him!

Answer 9

Can be anything you want, a choice or a lifestyle. Everybody has the right to live their lives as they want.

Answer 10

I wonder about this. In the parish where I grew up there was, as was recently revealed, a gay pedophile priest. He was convicted of molesting 36 boys over a twenty five year period. (there were more but this is the number he copped to)

I wonder how many of those boys grew up to be gay? If they did, were they born that way, did they choose to be that way or were they caused to be that way?

If being molested caused them to be that way, does the church scandal regarding thousands of molested boys account for the rise in the numbers of homosexuals we see today?

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