i am 36 .. i teach a 16 year old girl who is a pretty good friend of mine too . she has a rather large obsession with me .. something i discourage a lot ..... i keep telling her she should go out with a 18 year old guy ...... now if i dont answer her calls or chat in yahoo with her she gets annoyed with me ... if i get her annoyed and depressed and she gets bad results i will be blamed in any case !!!! i am in a fix and she is a nice girl too ... i dont wish to hurt her .... she is as i said a good pal .... what do i do ?
2007-05-05 15:44:08 · 5 answers · asked by atmaram 1 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
and yes i have healthy relation mental and physical with other women who are older .....
2007-05-05 15:45:47 · update #1
by mistake i posted the same question at first in love and dating section ( with a different question line " what do i do ? " ) and got called a paedophile by 8 people immediately ... so now i am also depressed ...by the way i am india so the legal angle is not the point the well being of the people in it .... me and her is important
2007-05-05 15:57:30 · update #2
It is developmentally appropriate and normal for teen-agers to develop "crushes" and "obsessions" with people who are older than they are. One reason for this is because adults are "safe" people who will not hurt them, and who they trust, and who are supposed to have their best interests' in mind. Therefore, as an adult, you need to act your age and continue to let her know that while you think highly of her as an adolescent girl, she is ONLY a student to you (not a friend, not a crush, not a pal, not a potential or "if only you were older" girlfriend). Do not expect her crush to go away, it probably won't until she is ready to form a relationship with someone else her age. But that has nothing to do with you. You need to remain professional and adult and appropriate in both your thinking and behavior.
2007-05-05 18:49:45 · answer #1 · answered by thedrisin 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You have to set boundaries. Let her know that it is a PROFESSIONAL relationship, and nothing more. If I were in your situation, I would cut lines of communication that are outside of the classroom. Also, tell your co-workers about the situation...that way, if this girl you speak of decides to make up a story and file a lawsuit for some reason, you have people that are on your side, and it wont be a "my story vs. hers" case. If you are close with the girl, you should be able to tell her the truth about the predicament. Let her know that you cannot, as a professional, have a really close friendship with a student. There is a fine line between friendship and infatuation with girls of her age.
2007-05-05 22:51:52 · answer #2 · answered by wranglergirl 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Here's hoping you don't teach punctuation or spelling..... If you haven't had a sexual relationship with her, you're not a pedophile. It sounds like she has a crush, and you should do your best to avoid any compromising situations.
You can't predict if she'll get bad results if you don't respond.
If you do have a good woman friend your own age, you might let the 16-year-old see you two "together". Maybe she'll get the hint.
2007-05-05 22:55:53 · answer #3 · answered by Jess 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, you are not...she has got a problem...
2007-05-06 08:48:57 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
YOU'RE DISGUSTING
2013-11-29 19:48:54 · answer #5 · answered by Corbynn Madeleine 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋