I am so scared right now, the man who I am in love with who doesn't love me doesn't want anything to do with my baby. I am 6 weeks pregnant. I don't want to have an abortion but I don't want to be a single mother. I always dreamed of having a baby with someone who loves me and wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. I don't know what to do because I don't like any of my options. Also I know I would never be able to have my child and then give him up for adoption. I couldn't live knowing that my child was alive without me. The father has also said that I would have a very hard time finding a man in the future who would accept me with a child already. I am so scared, I have made such a huge mistake, someone please help me!
2007-05-05 15:18:40 · 32 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
You should look for pregnancy centers in your area, they are there to help in situations like this, and they can help you through your pregnancy, and even after the baby comes!
First of all, I wouldn't listen to that guy, he just wants to be in control of a situation that he is loosing control of. You can (if you choose to) sue him for child support, and he will have to pay for his child.
I really feel for you, but judging from what you have written, I wholeheartedly believe that you would regret having an abortion - for the rest of your life. Before you make any rash decisions, you should research (Google "abortion") what an abortion actually is. If you knew what they do to the fetus, you would definitely keep your baby - if for no other reason than to protect it from that hideousness.
Best of Luck.
2007-05-05 16:05:27 · answer #1 · answered by Kaytee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well first he is crazy to tell you that you will not find a man just because you have a child. It sounds like to me that he does not want to pay child support. I am a child of a single mom and well I have a great life and I am very successful in life and I have a great marriage and a great son. I would say that growing up without a father did not make my life any worse actually probably gave me a different respect for life. No one can tell you if you should have an abortion or not because you are the only one that has to live with that decision for the rest of your life and it is your choice. I know that right now you are emotional and things are really hard because your dream is not what is happening but I believe we are not given more than we can handle. I am truly grateful to my mom who did not have an abortion when I know that would have been the easiest thing for her.
2007-05-05 16:35:54 · answer #2 · answered by mytessa77 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would take alot of time and think about this. I understand that you don't like any of your options, but you either get an abortion(and possibly regret it), give the child up for adoption(and regret it), or have your baby and be the best single mother you can be with the support of family and friends. It's always scary to think of raising a child alone, but alot of women do it and they raise wonderful children. Don't let him trick you into thinking that if you already have a child that no other man will want you because that couldn't be further from the truth!! He's probably just trying to discourage you from having the baby. Personally, I wouldn't think of the baby as a mistake, but I'm sure that you wish you could pick another man to have made one with, and that's normal when he's being so difficult. Right now, your primary focus should be on yourself and this unborn child, because no matter what you decide it will be life changing, and you have to make sure you prepare yourself for whats to come. Take your time and think this through and maybe even a counselor at your local clinic will be able to give you some good advice and ease your fears. Just think of this as his loss, not yours. I wish you the best of luck!!!
2007-05-05 15:36:08 · answer #3 · answered by FutureMD29 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well if you really don't want an abortion, DO NOT have one. Women who have second thoughts before even having the abortion suffer tremendously after the abortion. The truth is that abortion hurts women. Abortion will hurt you.
You think you couldn't live knowing that child was alive without you. This is a pretty big sign of the depression you will have coming knowing that your child isn't alive because of you.
I think that you should have the baby but don't make any decisions to keep it or not. Explore your options! You can give up your baby even after it is born. If you go to a pregnancy center. They usually have tons of letters from prospective parents hoping someone would come to the pregnancy center wanting to give their baby up for adoption. Just go look at them. Get a feel for it. Talk to the person there. Look at the help they have available. They can help you make the right choice for you.
2007-05-07 19:12:42 · answer #4 · answered by Peggy Pirate 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The fact that you say this man doesn't love you or your baby should make you ignore his comments about you "never being able to find a man to love you with a baby". Plain and simple- he's mad that you got pregnant and is taking his feelings out on you.
Life doesn't always go the way we thought it would, so I wouldn't worry that being a single mom wasn't part of your plan. I found out I was pregnant in my early 20s. The pregnancy was not planned at all- and did not come at a good time. I was terrified- I had no idea what to do. I don't believe in abortion, so I kept my baby. She's now 2 years old- yes, it is hard having a baby, but seeing that smiling little face everyday is so rewarding.
God gave you this baby for a reason. I know it's terrifying, but you can raise your baby if you put your mind to it. Women are much stronger than we give ourselves credit for!!!
2007-05-05 15:45:35 · answer #5 · answered by JustMyOpinion 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if u decide to keep ur child dont even worry about your future in dating and how dare the dad say it'll b hard to find a man 2 accept his baby, if he doesnt want it then he should shut the f up and mind his business now rather than discourage u with such foolish excuses. trust me if a man loves u and u feel comfortable bringing him into your childs life later things can go fine. MANY MANY people marry and have blended families this is nothing new so to let this discourage u is silly. yes being a single mom is not easy or even ideal for most people but the baby did not come to you, it was made by the 2 of you a product of u. its all up to u in the end...either way u could always wonder what if i did the other thing. think about it hard seek someone to talk to if possible. not the dad obviously b/c he's declared his position. best of luck in your choice.
2007-05-05 15:30:07 · answer #6 · answered by charli_red1218 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Please so not have an abortion!!! I think it would be much more selfish to kill your baby than to place the child for adoption. I agree with the other poster that not going through with the adoption just because you can't live knowing the baby is alive some where else is selfish. Would you rather have guilt about the baby being WANTED, and ADORED with people who are dying to have a child or more guilty in depriving it of it's life entirely?? I know your situation. I placed my own son for adoption 1 yr. and 10 mos. ago. It's was the hardest thing in the world to do but the right thing to do. Doing the right thing isn't always the easiet thing. It's an open adoption. I get pictures and e-mails. You don't have to have it open if you prefer not to but it's comforting for me to see how extremely HAPPY and well taken care of he is. The adotive parents are so grateful for my gift. I think it's the most profound act of selflessness and love that anyone could ever do. YOU are the one who made the mistake NOT your innocent baby. Please do the right thing. If you are aware of the responsibilities that go along with single parenting and are willing to take that route, go for it. Your boyfriend is crazy to tell you that no one would want you if you had a child. If a man TRULY LOVED you he would welcome your baby with open arms.
2007-05-05 15:37:31 · answer #7 · answered by ellaandalicesmom 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
This is a time to be strong. You are a mother now, like it or not. Having an abortion will not make you un-pregnant. It will make you the mother of a dead baby, and perhaps even mess up your body so that you cant have children later. There is hope for you.
My mother was 18 and had been with my dad for 4 years. Before I was even born, he married another woman. My mom was extremely sick. The doctors wanted her to have an aborition, and even tried to force her. They said if she tried to have me, she would die, and if I lived, I would be a vegetable. Despite being heartbroken beyond beleif, my mom called on her inner strength and fought for me. She could have taken the easy way out, but I wouldnt be here. My mother was much better off without my real father. She found a wonderful man who loves my mom, and loves me as his own daughter. When you have sex, you know that you might become pregnant. You have to step up to the plate now. Dont ruin YOUR life AND the life of an innocent child. Just because things are hard now doesnt mean that they will stay that way. Having an abortion could cause you far more pain than having a child. My friends who have had abortions still cry, even years after it was done. Once you have this baby, you wouldnt have any regrets. I know plenty of young moms. One of my best friends was raped by her dad and had a child at NINE YEARS OLD!!! Can you imagine how scared SHE was? But now she is an adult, loves her daughter, and is happily married and has other children. She thanks God for giving her the strength to not abort. Trust me, I became a mom younger than I intended to as well. But thanks to the example my mom set for me, I am now the happy mother of a 2 year old, and wouldnt have it any other way. Having an abortion will not fix your life. It will only complicate it even more, and you will miss out on the joy this child could bring you.
A baby at 6 weeks gestation (please read so you know EXACTLY what you are thinking about aborting before you do it)
http://www.pregnancy.org/pregnancy/fetaldevelopment1.php#week6
2007-05-05 15:32:12 · answer #8 · answered by Bomb_chele 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
well the baby father is full of crap, I was 17 when i had my first child , i thought the same thing you did i wanted to be married and have babies and be with this guy forever. Well guess what it did not turn out that way, but in time the hurt will pass and you will have this wonderful baby in your arms that needs your love and support. I am now married to a wonderful man we have 3 children together which includes my first son , who is not his child and i`m 27 weeks pregnant with my 4th. So him telling you nobody will want to date you because you already have a kid is a bunch of crap!! i had a Friend that had 4 children from a previous marriage that has met and married a man, my best friend had a son who was 3 at the time when she met her husband. So he only trying to scare you into having an abortion. Let him pay child support then he will think twice about using anyone else
Mother of 3 and pregnant with 4th
2007-05-05 15:31:23 · answer #9 · answered by octavia137 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry this is happening to you, i dont blame you for being scared, but please think carefully about this before you decide. Im pro choice, but if you feel already that you dont want an abortion then i dont think you should, not if it will haunt you. This man doesnt deserve your love, and believe me he is just trying to scare you into abortion when he says you wont find a man in future. You are in love yourself, ask yourself would you still have loved him if he had a child before he met you? Of course you would have, and a man who is decent and good enough for you in the first place will accept you for everything that you are, and everything that you have, including a child. Please think long and hard about this and only have an abortion if its what you really want to do. Its tough being a single mother, but worth it, when you see your child has turned out a good young person because of you, and how you raised them. I know this because mymum is raising my little half brother alone and she is doing brilliantly with no man. Talk to somebody about this, a doctor, friends, family, get it all out and then see how you feel about everything. Im sorry i cant do more to help i wish i could give you the answers you need, all i can tell you is to follow your heart and dont let anyone make you feel bad or put you down.
2007-05-05 15:36:45 · answer #10 · answered by dee 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Please listen to me, DO NOT have an abortion. I do not know how old you are but when I was young I made the mistake of aborting my baby under pressure from my then boyfriend, it was the biggest mistake I ever made and it haunts me to this day, I wish at that time just one person would have asked me to think about it because I know I would not have gone through with it. As for no guy wanting you thats just not true. My first husband left me with 2 small children and never looked back, I struggled but pulled through and am now re-married (10yrs) with my 6th child on the way! My oldest 2 children are better of without there father in their lives, they aare intelligent and well adjusted despite being single parented during there early years. You will not have a problem,be strong. One thing I wish someone told me was at 6 weeks your babys heart is beating already, he or she is a living being, one that in the future will bring you great joy, if your boyfriend doesn't want to be there it is his loss. Please don't do it. God gave you this baby for a reason accept the gift, even if at this time you don't understand why.
2007-05-05 15:34:22 · answer #11 · answered by NADISA 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋