To dog or not to dog?

Question

My wife wants a dog. We have been married for almost 7 years and she continually brings up this sore subject with me.

I am EXTREMELY allergic to dogs. Even these dogs that friends and family have that are supposedly "hypo-allergenic" tend to bother me when I am around them for more than an hour or so. I itch, I break out in hives, and I have trouble breathing. It's a problem I have had since childhood and was even an issue for me when I took allergy shots. As an adult it has simply continued to get worse.

We have a TINY yard and I am not one who wants to tie a dog to live outside for thier entire life. Our kids are all in school and my wife and I both work during the day, so I know an inside dog would be left alone for hours on end and would most likely relieve themselves all over our house while we are gone.

However, it still gets brought up every few months and I get blamed for being the "bad guy".

Am I being unreasonable here?

I would appreciate some advice.

Well we do have a cat. I am allergic to cats as well, but not near as bad and and tolerate their presence better. I just can't bathe her.

From a "hairless dog" standpoint, my experience has been it's not just the hair. If I dog licks me, I break out in hives when he licked. Dog urine and the odors in the air set me off as well.

It's too bad really, because I generally like dogs. Her parents have one, my parents have one. I play with them (probably shouldn't) and always "pay the price" after dealing my my allergic reactions.

Her position is just go to the doctor and get Zertec or something. At 36, the last thing I want is ANOTHER drug I have to take. I already take blood pressure medicine and Lipitor.

Answer 1

NO, you absolutely are not being unreasonable - I can't believe that your wife would even ask for something like having a dog when she knows how allergic you are. It's not like you are CHOOSING this - I can understand if you were not allergic and just didn't want a dog - I could see her frustration - but you have a physical issue with it. Tell her this - Imagine your worst cold ever - the stopped up nose, can't breathe, watery eyes - now imagine that is what I go thru when I am around dogs - I wouldn't ask you to live like that, so I am saddened that you would ask that of me. Having an outdoor dog is not the answer - studies have shown that a dog outside by itself - especially one tied up to something are sad, tend to be aggressive and don't bond well with people. it is a sad, sad way to live - please don't go that route. Tell your wife to contact your local spca shelter and start to volunteer - I have two dogs and a cat at home but still have a longing to be around other animals - I volunteer at the spca and it is wonderful - you can be around dogs,puppies - whatever and really make a difference in their lives. They need love and attention - it might be a good outlet for her. Good luck

Answer 2

Your WIFE is being unreasonable!

Look, I love dogs. I love all animals. But nobody in our house has severe allergies to them. If we did, we would NOT have them.

I would love to sit your wife down and ask her why she thinks that a dog is more important than her husband's health. Does she really understand HOW allergic you really are? Does she think you are exaggerating or lying about your allergies? (are you?)
I think her continued request is cruel and inconsiderate. And you should tell her that yourself. The fact that she would continue to try and convince you to get a dog when clearly,it makes you ill is a very selfish act.

My husband and I have trained dogs and fostered dogs for several years. One of the worst things that you can do it get a dog that either 1. you don't really want or 2. does not fit your lifestyle.
If you are not home a lot, a dog is not a good choice for you anyway. Any good breeder or trainer will tell you that. Dogs need attention, companionship and exercise. No matter how big or small. If they don't get it, they become behavior problems.
It sounds like a dog would not be a good fit for you even if you DIDN'T have allergies.

Tell your wife to get stuffed dog and pretend.

Answer 3

I am a woman. I am in my mid 20s and I love dogs. I have two of them. You are not wrong! When in marital doubt about getting a pet or not, the not always wins! This is why: the dog become the focus of a bigger problem. Ask your wife to call Dr. Laura on the radio. (Look up her website & get the #.) She will tell your wife what a jerk she is being - I gaurentee it! Do this also - hug your wife and tell her that you love her so much that you want to stay with her for eternity (be sincere!!). Next time she brings up fido, remind her that doggie makes 2 sice you cannot live in the same house as a dog. (Maybe you could pacify her by finding an animal that you are not allergic to and adopting it...) Good Luck! And call Dr. Laura!

Answer 4

Do NOT get a dog. I'm allergic to some animals myself and I know how awful it is to be "forced" to be around them.

You'd probably be constantly ill. You'd suffer, the wife would suffer and the dog would definitely suffer.

If you keep it in the house for just a hour a day that's enough for you to be allergic for days. If you pet it you'll be sick for hours.

No family dog should have to be left outside 24/7 either.

Have you explained this enough to your wife? Does she have any idea what she is askin of you?

Answer 5

Well, I am going to be the evil in your wife's eyes, but I think she is the unreasonable one...

She knows all this about you and still continues to ask???
That's just selfish on her part...

Dogs are a lot of work and require lots of food, shots, leashes, dog bowls, walks, grooming, and attention...

It is hateful to leave a dog in your yard tied up while you are gone all day...

They bark and wear out the ground and tip over water bowls and food bowls and they are left out when it suddenly rains and gets too hot or too cold...
That's animal abuse...

If you want to go on vacation you have to find someone you can trust to come over and feed the dog and look in on it...

You will always have vet visits and dog hair in your house to clean up after and vacuum...

My brand new vacuum cleaner that cost $300 dollars now smells like my dog...

I have a german sheppard that sheds a few times a year and all I do is either pick up hair or vacuum it up...

The worst thing has to be we can't go on vacation untill we know someone will be able to come over here every day and make sure she has food and water...

We can't leave food out cause birds, possums, and bugs all get in it and eat it up or leave it dirty, as well as with the water...

I love my dog and would miss her if I didn't have her cause she loves us and she is a good dog, but if she dies I don't want another...

I feel too attached to the house for her benefit and I often feel I can't go anywhere for long...

Answer 6

She is a woman and women get satisfaction from nurturing. She must be getting older, and have either not had kids or now has an empty nest. She wants this dog so she can feel needed again for her nurture. She wants what she felt when she was a mother, or wants to be a mother.

This is only to advise you on what she is feeling, if you try to point it out, she might get pissed, unless you let her know that its okay to feel this way. Hope you find a compromise.

Answer 7

I am an animal lover to my core, but I have to admit your right about this. It's obviously not ok for you, because it causes your allergies to go crazy, and it isn't alright for the pet. What would it's quality of life be? Probably not that great, being as it would be alone a lot, due to you and your wife working, and your kids being at school!

Answer 8

I think it is cruel to have you suffer for the sake of having a dog. I love dogs but I would never put my husband or kids through that. Is there anyother type of pet you can get that you are not allergic to. Fish might be good if you dont find them boring....and easy to care for.

Answer 9

I don't think you are being unreasonable, infact, i think she is. If you are severely allergic, I think that's a pretty good excuse! Could you get one of those hairless dogs? Or why can't she choose another pet, like a bird or a fish?

Answer 10

What about one of those ugly naked dogs......no hair to bother you.


After reading your additional comments I see the naked dog is out of the question. At 38 y/o I agree that taking medication all of the time sucks, but taking it just to have a pet is absurd. Your wife is being REALLY unreasonable.