Pregnant w/third, boyfriend wants to bail...?

Question

ok, so I am a 29 successful woman w/ 2 children I have been raising for the last 11 years. Here's the deal, I guess I am a sucker but I have a current boyfriend that lives with me and I support financially along with my kids. I just found out we are pregnant. Now, I want another baby. But his reponse was devasting, when I asked him if he he'd stand by my decision or leave me (the last dad left) he told me "he didn't know". So I feel like a chump! I have supported him and been there in alot of ways for him, and I cant believe he "doesn't know" if he'd stay with me now??? And after it all, I tells me I mean the world the world to him and he loves me. But my trust and security in this 90/10 relationship is shattered. I dont know if I should keep the baby and throw his *** out regardless or what. What kind of man uses all a woman's resources just to turn his back when the stakes get high. Sounds to me like a relationship of convience to him....

Answer 1

Well he sound like a real jerk, it sounds like you are very smart and I think you should know what to do. I can't believe that you support him, and your children, he should be out there working what is they something wrong that he can't work, if not he should get off his lazy *** and find a job. Now he doesn't know of he wants the baby what is wrong with him.
I don't know what else to say I'm just baffled.
If that was me I would kick him out and raise the baby.
I was in the same boat at one time, I have two children with the same guy, I got pregnant the second time the first time I had sex with him after my first was born. When I told him that I was pregnant he left me and moved vary far away, not just leaving me but his son, unborn child, and a daughter from a previous affair. That's his problem and something that he will have to live with the rest of his life. I'm glad he is gone too, I would have never supported him.
I say kick his *** out now!

Answer 2

Since you have already been supporting your other two children along with this man, I'd say go ahead and have your child and kick him out. Normally, I'd say try to work it out with the child's father because it's important to have both parents, but in this case he's already been mooching off you with no intention of helping out financially or emotionally for that matter. As a pregnant woman myself, I'd say get rid of the source of your stress because the sooner you know where the two of you stand, the better you can prepare yourself for whats to come. If he just so happens to come to his senses, then you all can come up with a plan for visitation(because the child should be able to see his/her father), but I don't think you need to continue to support this man financially because if you do then you're just enabling him to treat you wrong. You are a mature, successful woman, you deserve much better and so do your children. This time around, do what's best for you, not what's best for someone else. Good luck!

Answer 3

Your boyfreind is not a man! You don't have a relationship with someone and then bail when the going gets to hard. It's a child-like-behavior in my opinion.

If you getting pregnant was your decision and your boyfriend had no say in the matter, your decision was a bad one? It was bad enough you let the loser in your home to begin with!
If he brings nothing to the party but a warm body at night, you can't expect much now! You new he was not the best choice for a long term mate, look at his history. If you want someone for the long haul, find a man. You have two kids going on three, you don't have time to play with boys.

If its just having fun in the dark you want, have it at his house, backseat, apartment ect. Just don't bring him home! Your safety and more important, your kids safety is of the upmost importants!!!!!

Answer 4

First, you must stop supporting people that just want to usck you financialy and emotionally dry. He is using you. Now, you need him and he is gonna bail. You decide on whether to keep the baby. I wouldnt count on him for anything. Dont believe his lies and look at the big picture. A relationship is an equal partnership...each person contributes. If you can afford to raise the baby and you want it,,,then have it. If you do not believe you can care for it properly then maybe adoption or abortion. Good Luck!! Remember you deserve the best.

Answer 5

you definitely got it right, if your supporting him financially and he pays no bills, has a place to stay and free food, not to mentions sex, he is definitely a bum . Now that your pregnant he knows you will expect more from him, then what he has been putting out. You sound like you were doing fine on your own and took in a free loader. He needs to get a job and be a man and take care of his responsibility, If he refuses , its time for him to back his bags. You sound like a great person, your taking care of your family and home, but just made a bad choice when you chose him for a partner, Especially one who contributes absolutely nothing to this relationship, its better to be alone then live with someone who acting like a 3 child to take care of. You have your children to keep you company and to raise that enough on your plate, you don`t need a grown man to take care of too. Take care of yourself and this new baby to come and make him pay child support and grow up. If not he will never take responsibility for his self, let alone a baby

Best of wishes
Mother of 3 and 27 weeks pregnant

Answer 6

This won't win best answer, but I'll say it anyway.

Sounds to me like it was a relationship of convenience to BOTH of you. He got what he wanted, a woman to take care of him. And you got what you wanted, a 3rd baby. You're both adults, but the difference is, you've been through this twice before. So though you won't want to hear this, you easily share just as much blame as him.

I don't mean to down you, but why are you continually choosing to birth children by these worthless men. There's a saying I like...if you can't get a man to commit to being a husband what makes you think can get him to be a father?

Answer 7

Ohhh boy, I'm soo sorry about your situation. First, I don't know what kind of man can call himself a man, if like you say, he just lets you take care of everything. No one needs an additional child, especially when that person's supposed to be a partner. I'd let him go, for your sake and for your children's.

As for the baby, that's up to you and your belief system. If you really want this child, of course keep it. Like you said you're a capable successful woman.

My advice would be to focus on your career and children and let the childish man go. Good luck!

Answer 8

You probably shouldn't have gotten pregnant with his baby if he is still acting like one, but that's beside the point. If you have to support him, I would kick hime to the curb, because you've got a third baby on the way, you shouldn't have to raise him and his child. Sounds like he never grew up and maybe needs to move back home with his mommy so she can finish raising him. Maybe in your next relationship you should find someone who can contribute to your relationship, not just benefit from it.

Answer 9

Hate to say it, but you're right- you're a chump. On the other hand, you can't fall in love unless you're willing to go for broke (pun intended in your case). Give him the benefit of the doubt- you weren't planning on having a child together, and a child IS a big life-altering event. He might just be completely spooked and still processing everything. If you love him enough to sleep with him, live with him, and support him financially, you undoubtedly love him enough to let him work out his issues...within reason. If his future actions reveal that he's not man enough to stick it out, then he won't. I wish you the very best of luck for your family (including your new addition) and hope that this experience has taught you to be more careful with who you let into your life. :)

Answer 10

You already know the answer to your own question. You are a strong woman, as you well know, from raising your other children by yourself. Keep your baby and ditch the loser. What kind of a man lives off a woman anyway? You don't need him.