what are some solutions can you suggest for getting along within a stepfamily?

Question

i need it fast

Answer 1

accept the fact that children prefer their natural parents.
and parents prefer their natural children.
there's no such thing as treating them equal.
don't expect it.
don't try to make everything into one big happy family,
expecially if the children are older.
spend time ALONE with the natural parents and children.
without the step-parent and step-siblings.
work out discipline so the children know who has authority.

Answer 2

Just be yourself. If they want your help with something they'll offer some sign.... meanwhile, ask lots of questions. Our step-daughter, was asked to clean her room, and to baby sit her little sister once in awhile,,,,,,and beyond that, I didn't ask much of her, therefore she just jumped in and offered to do stuff. When my son would take out the trash, and chop the wood, she would sweep the floor, or do the dishes...or check the dryer for clothes..... those little steps meant a lot.....
If your an adult,,,,,, then just be yourself, and ask them what's going on and if you can be a part of it???? If they've planned an outting and you didn't get an invite,,,, call them up say hey??? I didn't get invited ?? A reason for that??? Can I go?? Is it ok ??? And don't worry, if ya blow it,,,, they'll be happy to let ya know that too!!! Most of all, just ask,,,, or if you see something that needs done, like the dishwasher needs emptied, or some little thing got left on the stairs or maybe someone just forgot to put the cap back on the toothpaste..... just pitch in..... someone will take notice. And you'll be fine. There's probably so many other things going on that the small stuff may take a while to get noticed. LOL.....
Don't Worry!!!!

Answer 3

I am a step mom and have been married for one year and dated my husband for 4 years.

My best suggestion is to be yourself. Listen to others and see what they have to say, bonding will occur before you know it and maybe already has occurred. Don't doubt yourself, you are a good person and don't have to be any different than you already are.

At first everyone will "check you out." They are all used to others who were in their life and may compare you to them.
Don't let this bother you.

Start new hobbies with kids if you are involved with them....making bracelets with beads for girls. Playing video games with the boys etc.

Give to your step family and they will see that you are generous and kind hearted. Be yourself and give of what you have. Everything takes time and it will all work out.

If I can be of more help, let me know.
It is a difficult situation!!
Been there, am there, doing that.

You are a good person, or you wouldn't care and wouldn't have taken the time to ask about this!
Bravo for you!
Kris

Answer 4

When you get in an argument, take a deep breath and instead of defending yourself, ask a question along the lines of "So this is making you feel frustrated?" or whatever. Just make sure you make an effort to understand where they are coming from, right, wrong or indifferent. Don't try to push your feelings on them or your point of view on them (unless there is something illegal or life threatening happening). Let them make all the issues about them.

When they are ready for your point of view, they will ask.

Answer 5

Well, its mostly a matter of pride. Let them be "the big cheese" Play yourself down, but be casual about it. Say as little as possible, but don't avoid joining in. Don't try to impress them; try to be average, and after a time, they will not see you as a threat.