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I get nervous when I go to parties and there's a lot of people I don't know.I feel uncomfortable when I'm by myself with a lot of people I don't know.I get really hot and nervous,and start to sweat.If I'm in party with people I know,I don't get nervous.I get nervous when I 1st talk to really hot girls I don't know.So I usually don't approach hot girls unless they're in my classes.I'll talk to them with no problem if they are.Do I have social anxiety? If I do,how can I help it besides seeing a psychotherapist and takin pills or whatever? Thanks

2007-05-05 11:58:20 · 8 answers · asked by jawnjames 1 in Social Science Psychology

8 answers

Social anxiety can cause these feelings, which can also lead to severe depression,
http://www.socialanxietyinstitute.org/ds...

There is hope; I've been there, and still am there, it is a long, hard struggle. I recommend
Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/cognitive_b... worked best for me, with mild anti-anxiety meds. I suffered from social anxiety for over 15 years. I've tried individual therapy, and group therapy and studied psychology for 10 years, as a profession, but also with the hope to cure myself.

Depending on your comfort level, you could go to a psychologist that practices CBT and specializes in anxiety disorders, seek a group therapy, or create one. Usually those that do attend the group therapy are a bit more high functioning because as you know, it can be difficult to speak in a group.

Another idea is to see if there are any local research studies being conducted that you could participate in.

The program that finally worked the best for me is this one: http://www.socialanxietyinstitute.org/au... and I was lucky enough to have a structured behavioral group to go along with it. Sometimes the people that actually attend this program come back home and form groups.

I recommend a mild anti-anxiety med, and a beta-blocker (it will reduce shaking and tremors enormously, but only use in extreme situations) in addition to CBT therapy.

Any questions, let me know ... I can't tell you how much this has improved my life!

2007-05-06 11:58:40 · answer #1 · answered by Advice Please 3 · 0 0

I know exactly how you feel because I use to experience it myself. Do you find yourself not talking to your friends you use to be close with? Do you wait for people to greet you before you greet them? Is it hard for you to strike up conversations or do you get real nervous and tense during a group setting or talking amongst your peers? Those were some of the things I experienced when I was your age. I'm 19 now but it started to kick in when I was 14 in the 8th grade. If I were you, I wouldnt go see a psychiatrist or take medicine because when I use to go through it I would always tell myself its all in my mind. Around 17 years old I faced my fears and confronted the things that would cause me to withdraw myself from social things. So being someone who believes I had it, you can over come it. Just give it sometime and push yourself to do things you would be nervous to do before. Just remember that were all humans and in reality, people isn't looking at you the way you think they are. Thats why I use to say its all in my mind. Hope this helps.

2007-05-05 12:11:47 · answer #2 · answered by Xzaviera 2 · 0 0

Yeah, you do, but the question I would put to you is, how did you get to know the hot girls that you do know? At some point they were hot girls you didn't know. You managed to get over your anxiety somehow. Try to see if you can get a line on how you overcame it before, so as to cultivate the same conditions to meet someone new. Maybe it is just as simple as the ones you know are in your classes, so you already knew something you could start a conversation with. Maybe you could find something current to start a conversation with, like have you seen such and such a movie. Or maybe you can start with talking about the host of the party, if it's someone you both know, and invited you there, then you could start of with something like, oh, yeah, so and so is a great guy, isn't he? or something nice like that, just to get the ball rolling as a point of something in common to talk about... it's just that first step that's the hard part, once you get it rolling it's alot easier, so maybe try to look for something that everyone at the party has in common for an icebreaker.... I was terribly shy as a teenager, there is alot of pressure at that time of life, I got over it more and more as I got older. I can still be quite shy sometimes, but no guts no glory, I just made up my mind one night to act as I would if I didn't care what someone else thought of me, and have progressed quite alot in that area of my life.....good luck....

2007-05-05 13:07:00 · answer #3 · answered by beatlefan 7 · 0 0

You sound similar to me, lol So i comprehend the way you sense. i do not comprehend previous you're, yet when your nevertheless in severe college or college, you should target to hit upon a collection of those that you're feeling comfortable with. some procedures to do it quite is once you're at a social gathering or new classification, etc, search for the folk who're also on the exterior of the crew and look kinda fearful like you do. it would want to finally end up that they are genuinely quite fantastic human beings and characteristic an same insecurities as you, so that you received't sense as fearful round them. As for continuously replaying what you said or did, attempt this: enable your self to imagine about what you said or did in basic terms once in the course of the instantaneous you said/did those issues, and again at evening, formerly you bypass to sleep. by allowing your self to repeat previous situations over and over, it would want to grow to be OCD and make it worse. So initiating now, reduce your self to rethinking/replaying to easily 2 cases an afternoon. If this does no longer help, you should connect a help crew for those with similar issues as you. There you are able to study some the thanks to handle it and also recommend new those who're information of your issues.

2016-10-18 06:01:14 · answer #4 · answered by latassa 4 · 0 0

Yeah, you probably do, but you don't need pills for that. You can handle it. Millions of people have before they came up with a pill for it. Mostly what it boils down to is a lack of self-confidence. You need to learn the art of conversation. Larry King wrote a really great book on this subject entitled something like How To Talk To Anyone. That may not be the exact title, but it's close. Look it up on Amazon. There are other books out there like this ... lots of them. I used to be like you until I discovered something that works GREAT for me. When I'm talking to someone, I tell myself that there is something fascinating about that person -- something really interesting -- and I have to find out what it is. I start by asking them questions and then they go from there. People love to talk about themselves!

2007-05-05 12:06:28 · answer #5 · answered by Emily Dew 7 · 0 0

I used to feel like this. It took me a while to work my way out of it but I'm glad that I didn't do it with medication. My problem was that I didn't feel confident in myself. How old are you? Everybody goes through this at some point, so it might just be your age.

2007-05-05 12:02:56 · answer #6 · answered by probablestars 3 · 0 0

I have the same problem...i dont like to go out at all. I really dont like to go to parties where there will be ppl. i dont know. I was on medication..but i didnt like it. Seen a therapist for a while..didnt really help...so i guess i'm stuck like this!

2007-05-05 12:06:59 · answer #7 · answered by faith 4 · 0 0

i dont know but thats happening to me im 14 years i dont go out so maybe thats my problem when i do go on the road all i thinking of is what other people are thinking of me i feel rejected

2007-05-05 12:30:34 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

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