Why is she acting like this?

Question

Me and my girl of 4 years have an ok relationship, things have seemed to go downhill lately. Well today I left my 2 year old's pair of sandals in a shopping cart. We got home and she completely flipped, she slammed the doors, cursed at me, and then drove back to the store to buy him a new pair. She got home and was still angry and throwing a fit.

I told her it was an accident and I didn't realize I left them in the cart. She said I was stupid for not going right back to buy him a pair of sandals, so she had to do it.

So eventually I got fed up and began yelling at her, telling her that it wasn't my fault and I would get him another pair, but it didn't do anything. When she got home I said, "hey honey," and she said "F you"

So now we're fighting... how do I solve this?

Answer 1

It could be for a lot of reasons. Is she generally like this? Is this the way she normally behaves when something happens that she doesnt like? If this is totally out of character for her, then maybe a trip to the doctors wouldnt be a bad thing. This may sound crazy, but its worth a think. Post natal depression can happen at anytime, not just after the baby is born. It happens to a lot of women actually. I am not an expert on the subject, but maybe why it has taken so long for it to come out is now the baby is more independent, her responsibilities arent as great as when the baby was totally dependent. Maybe she feels the responsibility of raising the child is totally overwhelming her.....or maybe she was just plain cranky and the shoe episode just set her off. I would stay away from her for a little while.....allow her to calm down....then talk to her. Ask her is she feeling overwhelmed with motherhood....because that could very well be the case. There are a lot of women who stress out over what is expected of them as a mother. Some women were born to be mothers....some werent. I dont think I was born to be a mother, but that doesnt mean I didnt love my children with all my heart. Maybe your wife has these expectations of herself that she feels she cannot achieve. Maybe the stress of motherhood is weighing her down. You could even suggest these things to her. Maybe if you went about it like that, she may be inclined to open up to you a bit more. Maybe if you said something like you know how much pressure there is in raising a child and is there perhaps something you could do to ease some of her pressure. If she knows you understand, then maybe it will help in opening up the lines of communication. If she continues to be irrational and it doesnt matter what you say, then maybe its time to take her to the doctors. If post natal depression is left untreated, then it will get worse. If it is just the stresses of rasing a child, then that too needs to be understood. Find out why she is feeling like this....dont argue with her. It doesnt matter whether you agree or not, her feelings are real...her stresses are real and whatever she says to you, you need to take seriously.

Take care.

Answer 2

There is some underlying problem here. Either that or (sorry) she's a little psycho. In my experience, it's best to just let her calm down, and then try to talk. But, make sure you resolve the issue soon, or things will just get worse. Try to find out what she was really mad about. Unless you are really strapped for cash, I doubt anyone is going to get that mad about a pair of sandals. Take her out and have a nice picnic or something, where the two of you can be alone, and just talk. Try to find out what's wrong, but don't be pushy, that will make it worse. It's all trial and error.

Answer 3

Sounds a little like I was. Does she fly off the handle a lot about small stupid things? She may be bi-polar, It's possible but who knows. Like others say it could be that she's just fed up and you need to figure out what it is. I know she act's like she doesnt want you to mess with her. But show her you love her in spite all of her ranting. Females are just more emotional and when we've had enough we've had enough!!! But try to show her you love her do something sweet run her feet or kiss her neck...something you usually dont do..if all else fails do a few things around the house.

Answer 4

The problem is sooo not about the sandals. The sandals just gave her an excuse to blow up. There's something else going on. Maybe she's stressed or feel you don't pitch in. Or she feels that you've been irresposible lately? Sounds like she's really stressed about something. YOu have to talk to her. Tell her that you understand she's angry but want to talk about it and you can't read her mind.

Answer 5

Sounds like the sandals are just a door way for something else bothering her....
Talk to her, tell her your sorry for forgetting them and calmly ask if she'd like to talk...
Really, it sounds like something may be bugging her and she needs to talk about it..
Remain calm, as hard as it is, and listen to her side of whatever it is...
Yelling, screaming and cursing solves nothing, be the bigger person here and try to solve the problem...
You have a child caught somewhere in the middle of your problems, don't bring your baby into it, solve it like adults...
Your child's only 2 now, but he/she will grow up and learn to handle things the way she/he saw Mom and Dad doing it....
Take a deep breath, remain calm and try to work it out....Good Luck...

Answer 6

Does she do this alot? cause if she does it sounds like depression. someone else said this to I think you need to take a look back as to how she has been since your 2yr old was born it could be post pardom that went untreated if this is the case then she needs to talk to her OB GYN....if this is a 1st time thing then I would wait for her to calm down and talk to her ask her if she is OK and if there is anything she needs to talk about, let her know you are worried about her ..... hope this helps good luck to you both

Answer 7

I would just make myself to keep records for divorce court to show how you tried to solve problems by recommending:
marriage counseling
stress counseling
church

Have hidden cameras set-up when you know she is gonna throw a fit in front of the kids, to show how dangerous to the children she is. Judges like that.
When she is drunk and around the kids...take pics and cams.
Women are not sugar anymore in judges eyes.
Judges do not like hostility around kids from parents.

Answer 8

Is money tight? If so that could be why she was so mad that you lost the shoes however she needs to chill and calm down. They are just sandals and the baby will out grow them any day now. Just let her calm down and come to you. We are human we are going to make mistakes.

Answer 9

Wow...she reminds me of my mother-in-law, who suffers from depression. She's like that with her man, who happen to be my man's step-father. She goes through a lot of rages and calls him stupid for every mistake he makes. My man and I try talking to her, explaining that everyone makes mistakes. But there's no use in reasoning with people who have bad temper. If your woman goes through these rages constantly or a little bit too much, then she needs professional help. Have her doctor diagnose what she's suffering from. Hopefully she doesn't suffer from bipolar of something cus if she does, there are many things you have to be aware of and know what to do or not to do. Whatever it is she's suffering from, you need to get her help pronto. I mean, now!!! Good luck. I hope I didn't scare you. But I'm serious.

Answer 10

WOW....well...I'd say let her calm down first and apologize. Apologize for everything you said and everything you didn't say. Then ask her to tell you everything that's bothering her because you understand that we can't always know what's on the other person's mind. Let her know you love her and want your relationship to work. We all go through changes and maybe there's been a change she's been going through that you just didn't see or catch. Ask her to tell you what she wants. Believe me, she'll open the flood gates.