Is 18 too young to marry a navy guy?

Question

My 18 year old neice has just shared with us that she is marrying an 18 year old Navy guy. They plan to marry in December.
Already she has her wedding gown. Her boyfriend has just entered his 2nd year in the navy.
I'm concerned because they have not yet seen or experienced life and already want to tie themselves down to marriage.
He will only get to see her a few times a year because he serves in the navy.
What do you think?
Her italian parents are very supportive and think it's wonderful their 18 year old is marrying an 18 year old?
Suggestions?

Answer 1

I was married at 16, and with the guy since I was fourteen, been together for almost 5 years now, and very happy. Just depends how much you love eachother, and how mature you two are.

Answer 2

When I was in the Navy I saw the same thing. Guys are away from home for the first time and are lonely. We had a lot guys get married young, and most didn't last. I hope she understands when he gets deployed at sea he's going to be gone for 6-8 months. How is he 18 and been in for 2 years? Its going to be really hard. They might not be able to get base housing because most places are on a waiting list. He is only an E2 or E3 at the most so he makes next to no money. They should live together first. Some people said I got married at 18 or 19 but being a Navy wife at 18 or 19 is much harder.

Answer 3

Do you mean move to be with him now, or once you are married? How long has your engagement been? What is your situation now - are you working, in school, etc? We can't really offer and sort of advice without knowing more about your situation or, more importantly, anything about you and your fiance. Basically, all you'll get are the "you're too young" messages. Whatever you choose to do, I wish you the best of luck. Long distance relationships are hard, long distance marriages harder, and military life forces both to happen regularly. Edit: Hon, if you can manage to get out and be with him once you're married, go for it. Why wouldn't you? It's bad enough to have to deal with the distance during deployments, you should spend every moment you can together while he's at his home port -- and if that's in Japan, then that's where I think you should be! As much as it may be hard to leave family and friends, he should be the most important person in your life (that's why you're getting married, right?) so make the most of it! If you're concerned about the language barrier, think about all the other families that are there for their mothers/fathers/wives/husbands in the Navy! I don't think this is a question you needed to ask on Yahoo..!

Answer 4

Well, I'm 18 and married to an Air Force guy (20 years old, 19 at the time). I've been married since June 23, 2006 and things have been very great for us. There are many perks to being married in the military.

Her husband will get extra pay just for being married, have extra money given to him to buy food and close to a grand given each month just to find housing!

Has he already been gone for long periods of time while they were dating? If so, and she's proven she can take it - then there shouldn't be much to worry about as far as that goes.

Most of all, if you are really concerned - talk to her about it. Let her know that you only want the best for her, and that you care deeply for her. Explain to her that marriage is meant to be forever, not something that can easily be thrown away like a "boyfriend". Ask her if she plans on getting a job, or what her plans are for having children. She might realize that she's in over her head, or she might actually have a very strong and confident head on her shoulders.

Best of luck to you. :)

Answer 5

Well I think that 18 years old to get married is way to young. She is still a teenager weather she likes it or not. Only 8 years ago she was 10. She is barely legal and she cant even drink yet. I think the youngest to get married is 21 when you can drink when you are a full adult until of a half adult if that makes any sense what so ever. Plus at age 18 you have barely even started collage you dont even have a good job to susport a family when one comes around. Plus what if the Navy guy as a good man he may be what if he gets killed and she is left with a baby. How is she going to make it? I think 18 is way to young for getting married.

Answer 6

I think it is just fine if that is what they want to do. I was married at 19 my husband was 18. People had similar concerns about us being young but we have been married for 6 years now. She understands that she is marrying a military boy and what challenges can come from that. Just support her and help make her wedding day the most special for her. Every marriage is work no matter what age you are.

Answer 7

It has disaster written all over it. Military marriages are notoriously difficult. I married my wife when she had just turned 19 but I was 11 years older. This guy is a kid. He may be very nice but like his parents are Italian and there is a lot of unreality to that kind of love story. Are both families Catholic? Is he a good kid? Will he go nuts on shore leave? My daughter turns 19 on Monday and I would not want her marrying a guy the same age. I would rather she married a 30 something. Suggestions; well they sound like they are set on it. What I would do is say we support you in principle but don't want you to get married. Both families to look after your daughter when he is away. And promise them a really substantial wedding present (like a deposit on a house) if they stay the course.

Answer 8

I didn't hear you say anything abusive. Just be supportive because it is there decision. They are the same age which is better than hearing a 50 year old with a 20 year old. In the end you want a relationship with your niece don't you? I'm not saying your reservations are wrong, but once a 18 yr has her mind up there's not much you can tell her especially since her parents are behind it as well.

Answer 9

It takes two special people to marry when one is
in the military, as seperation will take place many
times because of duties. If they are both mature
adults and are ready for this venture in untread
waters then the marriage will work. They both have
a disadvantage and that is their age as 18 yrs old
is not sufficient to be 100percent ready to tread in
unstable ground. The fact that he is in the navy
alone will bring in the trials and tribulations early
on. Speaking as an ex military man who served
22yrs in the army there were times when my wife
and I were seperated over a year , but again as I
stated early if the two special people are involved
then they both will be there for each other no matt-
what.

Answer 10

Don't do it! In the Navy, men have to spend time at sea and you wouldn't believe what goes on during those six month cruises. Sometimes it is really difficult to get the spouse over to the duty station in a timely manner after the wedding. There is a saying - "If the Navy wanted you to have a family, they would have issued it with your seabag." I'm sure there are loyal and wonderful husbands in the Navy - I've seen them but 18 is too young. She should go to school first and wait for him to get out of the Navy.

Answer 11

I would really try to talk her out of it. It's so hard to make a marriage work when he is going to be on a ship all the time and with only being 18 she's more than likely doesn't have the skill sets to really handle tough situations like this. I am a military wife of 8 yrs and I can say for sure it's hard when they are gone.