Thanks for reading. My sister's a genuine, giving, gorgeous girl who REALLY wants to get married to the right guy. (Who doesn't) She thought she'd found the right one. We all agreed. There were some initial reservations but that's another story. He asked my parents if he could marry her & told our family he'd do it on her upcoming birthday.
Then she got a call from a girl who obviously got her # from his cell, saying they'd been together since a year ago off & on, she's pregnant(!) but possibly going to terminate (another jacked up story). She told only me. He knows I know as well.
I'm willing to support her as she tosses around whether to stay or go. Then he proposed last Saturday. I HATE that he cheated & they have only even been together since like Feb./ March. Going forward I'm thinking of years of uncertainty she's going to be able to share with JUST ME. I don't even know how to ask, but what the H to tell her?
Because she loves him, he has some celebrity &
2007-05-05 03:42:23 · 21 answers · asked by Sleek 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
appeared to be sincerely crazy about her, she is going to stay.
I would never stay with someone who cheated. Its hard to say never, but I couldn't live with myself let alone HIM.
Sorry it is so long, but I need some counsel, my head is spinning.
She and I are also best friends and guess who she asked yesterday to be the matron of honor...
2007-05-05 03:44:27 · update #1
It's her decision. You never know. Once they're married it may be a non-problem. What guys do when they aren't married is often very different from what they do when they are. As I've pointed out to folks who don't want to hear it, if you are not married, many guys see that as still license to visit elsewhere.
Hey gang, read her question. Her sister ALREADY KNOWS.
2007-05-05 03:59:00 · answer #1 · answered by CarbonDated 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If she chooses to talk to u about it, then give her your open opinion on the matter. If she chooses not to discuss it, then she has come to grips with it herself and wants to put it in the past. The only thing u can do is be there for her as a sister and true friend. If she falls, be there to pick her up. Support her decision in whatever it may be, and let her live her life.
You are a good sister for wanting the best for her, but let her choose what she feels is best for her without anyone elses perseption of the events.
She will either realize what a jerk he is, or she will forgive him and attempt to make a good life with him.
Just do what ur doing now, and give her the room she needs since she knows what she is getting into on her own.
Good luck and hang in there.
2007-05-05 04:18:17 · answer #2 · answered by Truth Teller 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
But still the situation is not clear... some other girl called and told this and that, but at the same time you never know if it is true or not. That female maybe specially did so that to turn him back or something...
I think, you should tell your sister the truth and make the situation clear. Marriage is a very seriouse step in everyone's life and after it is taken it is very difficult to change anything, because there will be many other issues.
Make the situation clear, to make a decision!
2007-05-05 03:49:48 · answer #3 · answered by (✿◡‿◡✿) 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The best anwser for that is let her find out for herself but give her clues that led on to her findin out because you NEVER know how somebody thats in love will react and most of the time, the first reaction is rage. My family member has a boyfriend that she had kids with and he is cheatin on her heavy but when we would tell her, she wouldnt believe us but one day, the girl called my aunts cellphone and asked for him.......!!!!!!!!.........she went off like why didnt no one tell me and she was crying and all the time we were tellin her. but the good thing is she relized that we did tell her 'cause we were givin her clues. So if your gonna tell her.......use the only method she will understand you whether its pictures, phone call or whatever. Just dont be so blunt but dont sugar coat it!!!!!!!!! And for the pregnancy....only she can decide that because from a personal stand on it, if she lets someone put the thought in her head that she doesnt want to keep the baby, she'll regret it in the long run and feel bad because shes gonna feel she didnt make the right decision for herself. This is just what I think to help you out.
2007-05-05 04:00:51 · answer #4 · answered by Rock-Star 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Time isn't everything but it helps. They haven't been together long to know one another. She's not making an informed decision to marry him because she doesn't know him as well as she could. If she asks your opinion suggest having a longer engagment as a provision for him getting his crap straight w/ the other woman. Tell her she' s worth it and she is allowed to protect herself. Guys will talk you out of your common sense so qiuck. She deserves the right to see if she wants to be a part of his possible extended family. If the love is true a longer engagment won't hury AT ALL. I am speaking from experience. Most of all don't criticize her. Be there if crap hits the fan and be supportive. DON'T BAD MOUTH HIM (to her face...keep a journal lol!) You are there to support her. That's what she'll remember and she will be more willing to come to you for help.
2007-05-05 03:55:48 · answer #5 · answered by BB'sMom 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Look darlin! you have a real dilemma here. You can't tell her and ostracize yourself! Stay close to her, be supportive and don't for the life of you tell her. The good that will come from telling will be that your sister will "close you out" of her life. You have already said she is "in love" with this man, you also said he has some "celebrity" status! Your fighting a loosing battle. My advice is to stay out of it. One day it will all come to life, one day down the road, and if your not in your sister's life, what then? If you love your sister, you will let her find out the "hard" way, that is the only way to learn ones lessons in life and Never repeat them. Stay positive and occupied. Help your sister out with all the arrangements, and be happy for her. For all you know, this man may really,really, love your sister and all will work out. Now go get yourself a cup of TEA, not coffee, you don't need any stimulants - go catch a few rays and relax - it's NOT your life - let your sister live hers! OK? "Sisters are Forever" - I raised my girls that way and they have weathered many a storms but always supported each other - isn't LOVE great!
2007-05-05 03:55:43 · answer #6 · answered by peaches 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well.. I'm kinda confused. From what I'm understanding is this girl told your sister and your sister told you. Right? And you can't tell anyone else in the family. Thing is your sister already knows and and confided in you and has made her decision. You can guide her and try and get her to tell your parents because if later on it comes out they will be hurt that she didn't tell them and with pregnancy involved it will very likely come out especially when he has to own up and pay support and hopefully be involved in this child's life. If he is someone willing to walk away from responsibility regarding this unborn child, ask your sister how responsible she thinks he'll be in their marriage. She knows the facts and it up to her to let anyone else know. Just be there for her.
2007-05-05 03:59:32 · answer #7 · answered by rhonda c 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The other girl could be telling the truth, or she could be lying. When you tell your sister, you need to make that clear.
There's no rush to getting married. Your sister should take the time to KNOW. If she doesn't take the time now, remind her that she'll have the rest of her life to find out, and it for sure won't take that long!
2007-05-05 03:54:26 · answer #8 · answered by Yesugi 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh dear... that's a tough situation. It sounds like your sister deserves a much better guy than this guy. She DEFINITELY shouldn't marry him unless she's sure he really loves her and will be faithful to her. I've been divorced, and it's awful to go through. I wouldn't wish it on anyone.
Tell you sister how you feel. She might not like to hear it, but at least you are being honest. Tell her to slow down a bit and don't rush into marriage. If he really loves her, he will wait for her, and prove to her that his intentions are good. Good luck!
2007-05-05 03:51:22 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
i would tell her about it, don't keep it to yourself i mean look what your going through now. Either way if you don't or if you do tell her she will be mad. You have to tell her the truth. Marriage is a big change. Don't make her regret it. Someone who has cheated obviously doesn't love you right? I hope you make the right decision. Only you can make it...just remember that.
2007-05-05 03:57:34 · answer #10 · answered by aimzq09 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋