My spouse does not have an issue with me looking at and or using pornography, however I do. That is I feel a little guilty for doing it but I can't seem to stop. I'm not addicted in the sense that I don't need to see it in order to be intimate with my spouse, however because we are aparted due to work comments a lot, I do feel a little guilty sometimes. So the question is, am I just being stupid? or should I be concerned about this?
2007-05-05 02:44:10 · 18 answers · asked by lisa s 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Please stop beating yourself up over this. You are likely a visually stimulated person, and this leads to wanting to see some more stuff once in a while. The majority (more than 50%) of the population is like this.
I worry a bit about pornography because I don't want to see someone being exploited, nor to support it in any way. I think this can be hard to avoid on the internet. Sometimes even when people know they're performing, they're on drugs, have serious problems, been manipulated into it, all that. Sometimes it is obvious when the porn you're watching is evil (anyone underage, real rape [not simulated, it's usually pretty easy to tell the difference, the real one will probably make you feel awful and scared, unless you're messed up yourself], violent, exploitive sex), and that's best not to watch. Even some of the porn that doesn't seem that bad may have girls in it that are underage.... can you reliably tell every 15 year old from an 18 year old? I don't think even the doctors can. But there's plenty of the other stuff out there, adults wanting to do it in front of a camera. For some reason, the desire to do--and watch--this comes naturally for a decent percentage of the population, male and female. If you make sure you're watching stuff that was legally made, then I'd give you my vote if you ran for office.
If you really want to eliminate your desire to do this, perhaps you should ask for help from your higher power. Not for willpower to avoid looking at it, but to eliminate the desire alltogether. Then you won't be stressing yourself out trying to avoid what you are craving, which to me is a is a more serious (and common) form of self-abuse.
Most married men like to look at pictures and these days, video, that's probably why your spouse has no issue with it, because she's a mature, realistic woman. You're a lucky guy, perhaps that's why you want to feel guilty. ;-)
2007-05-05 03:02:45 · answer #1 · answered by Singinganddancing 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to figure out why you feel guilty about it. It could be that you always heard it was bad and wrong so you feel guilty for enjoying it. If it is not interfering with your life, work, relationship etc then the only problem is your guilt. Pornography can be a safe way to spice up your sex life but if you feel terribly guilty then it is more of a hindrance than a help. Talk with your spouse about how you are feeling.
2007-05-05 09:59:43 · answer #2 · answered by glbenner 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess you have to ask yourself where the guilt stems from. Do you feel like you're doing something wrong? I don't have a problem with porn either but guilt is a bad thing. You can't stop because...well..its there. If you're going to do it you need to not feel guilty! Guilt is your minds way of telling you it's time to work on yourself. Try to cut back and do things that make you feel happy. I think you could probably find more productive things to do with your time. Read a book, work on a hobby, do things around the house. It's not stupid but anything that makes you feel bad should concern you.
2007-05-05 10:02:55 · answer #3 · answered by oracleofohio 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like your just missing something in your marriage. With both of your work schedules and lack of time together - doesn't make you a bad person or some perv--- but do talk to your spouse about it. That, is the person you should be telling and asking this too.
2007-05-05 12:22:37 · answer #4 · answered by apache_lizz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your wife is very tolerant. However, looking at pornography while you are married or committed is not healthy and can become worse with time. If you are committed to your marriage, but needing to look at other women to satisfy sexual desire, you are essentially committing adultery. That is why you are feeling guilty. Seeing a beautiful woman on the street and appreciating her beauty is very different than satisfying sexual desires by seeking out naked women other than your wife. Remember that you are a mature man who should be able to control your passions - be faithful to your wife.
2007-05-05 10:00:10 · answer #5 · answered by TLBFH 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just because you are married doesn't mean that you are dead. Remember that homosapians are indeed animals. Our basis for existance is that of reproduction and sustainment of the "race". To need stimulation does not make you a bad husband or wife, it means that there are many other variations that are attractive to you as a sexual being.
2007-05-05 09:55:46 · answer #6 · answered by jjester919 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men have urges. There goes the saying that we are accused of thinking with our xxxx instead of our head. How to relieve such urge depends on your method and moral guidelines you set for yourself.
2007-05-05 12:38:53 · answer #7 · answered by Sir Richard 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
listen to your conscience it is usually right. It seemes to be saying there is a problem. I think you are on the verge of having a problem in this area and your conscience is trying to help you out. Listen to it!
2007-05-05 10:42:40 · answer #8 · answered by angelgirl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it interferes with your marriage or the rest of your life then you have a problem.
If you have to look at porn to be "turned-on" you have a problem.
If it makes you feel guilty you have a problem
2007-05-05 09:48:24 · answer #9 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
No such thing as a stupid question!
Just stupid people asking them!
2007-05-05 13:29:28 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋