Im 26, he is 56, we have been together for over 2 years, we love each other and we have been through a lot. I tried hard in this relationship and so did he, I finally brought up the idea of breaking up with him yesterday bcos Im not happy about the age difference, and I am worried about my future with him, there is too much pressure and it gradually worn me out. He was pissed off and hurt, he said I didnt leave a good form to him, and he is not impressed. He said I wasted his 2 years, he said Im only playing games.
After breaking up, I felt so bad, I couldnt sleep, I couldnt get him out of my mind, and his words hurt me so much... I love him very much, also he is the first one I had sex with, now Im nothing to him, he only considers me as a game player! The pain is so much... we havent contacted each other ever since, and I dont think we would...
maybe we cant even stay friends...
2007-05-05 02:10:08 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
ok sweety im proud youve waited 26yrs to have sex, thats very rare nowadays.
but dude your cheaten your self by limiting your sexual expieriances with a 56 yr old man.
im not saying go do everything in sight, but live a little.
and to answer your questiuon, distraction and i cant stress that enough. only time can heal the heart ache of a breakup
but in the mean time find some new "dick"
{man to occupy your time} while you heal.
it works trust me. the mind is a powerful thing, good luck
2007-05-05 02:26:13 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
I am in almost the same boat, except my boyfriend is 40 years older than me. I am 27 and he is 67. He, also, took my virginity. The age thing bothers me sometimes, mainly worrying about his health. However, the good I get from him is MUCH better than the bad, and he is one of the best men i have ever met. In my opinion, if you broke up with him solely on the basis of age, what you did was wrong. If you were happy with him in a relationship, and that was the ONLY problem you guys had, then maybe that could have been talked about and worked out rather than just dumping him. Once the hurt lessens a little, maybe you could gradually get to "know" each other again, maybe talk through some of the issues going on in your mind. It sounds like you really do love him, and it would be such a shame to give up on true love just because of a "number." Good luck, i hope this helps and i hope you find a solution.
2007-05-05 10:36:26 · answer #2 · answered by Sarah W 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My girlfriend is 30 years younger than I am.I'm 66,she and of course she is 36. I'm divorced and so is she.We didn't get divorced because of our relationship to each other> That happened before we met and that meeting was by accident.
I think,no I know, she is beautiful. She thinks I'm a good looking guy; at 66,mind you.
The point I,m making I hope is it's not looks but the inside that we become attracted to after being together for awhile. That and only that will keep any relationship together.We've known each other 6 years and have been together 5.We're not married.we don't want to. We have a great sex life;and yes Cialis helps me with that.She understands the toll the years take.
What will happen to us, I don't know. She loves me and I love her.That's what counts at present.I have been more concerned about the age difference than she. To her it doesn't matter.
Having said that,if the age is bothering you and the pressure you get from other people has become too much,then you are doing the right thing.
Take advice from a guy who has been around awhile. YOU are the most important person in your life.
2007-05-05 12:37:11 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know this is hard for you and it is supposed to feel this way when you love someone. I was with someone for 6 yrs and I know it hurts when you realize it is the end. The thing is you have to follow your heart. I mean if you truly are not happy with the age difference or other things as well then you made the right choice. If you can find a way to get over the age thing and if you truly want to spend the rest of your life with this guy then maybe you should think about your decision. And as for him saying your a game player and stuff like that he is just mad and upset. He wants you to feel as bad as he does. He wants to bring you down cause that is how he feels. It is common human logic. Don't let it get to you. What you said about you being nothin to him now, That isn't true. I am sure he still loves you and that is why he is acting like this. MAybe one day you can be friends again. It just might not happen over night. You could try writing him if you want to talk about things but are afraid to do it over the phone. The point is to take some time and sort out your feelings and your grief. Cause that is essentially what you are feeling at this point. It is like grieving for some one who has died. You feel as though a part of you has passed over because you just lost a part of yourself. Remember though for what is lost can be found again. You will have your happy ending one day. Don't worry about that. Also there might be some people on here that may criticize you for dating some one so much older than you or might agree with your ex when he called you a game player. Ignore those people. The last thing you need to feel right now is bad. I mean honestly I am sure no know can make you feel worse than you already do so just don't pay attention to them. Like I said follow your heart and just take it easy. Things will be ok. Good luck to you!
2007-05-05 09:24:54 · answer #4 · answered by poetryprincess 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know if you've made the right decision right from the beginning before committing to a relationship with this man...being with a man who's 30 years older is certainly not a good choice coz of the big age gap...I'd call him uncle and not my man if I were you...If I were this man, I'd think the same as he coz I need a mature woman to love and care for me when I am getting older and now you've dropped a bombshell out of nowhere in my life and cause instability to my life...who wouldn't be mad? If you don't want to pursue this relationship with him, you shouldn't have sex with him coz a man hopes to get a woman's love after sex...bear in mind, premarital sex is a sin and not a right thing to do...what was done cannot be undone...you're still young...decide what you really want...if you can't forgive yourself for dumping him, then do sth about it
2007-05-05 09:42:51 · answer #5 · answered by superb2dmax 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah..well i guess it was just a bad break up. It is however quite strange that the age gap only started bothering you after 2 years. He is justified in being angry. The point is that you did it for yourself and that's what's most important, YOU. You need to pick up the pieces at your own pace off course. You say you're only 26? Girl! You still have a lot of dating and loving left in you. This is where you learn that life goes on.
2007-05-05 09:25:11 · answer #6 · answered by JB 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
In a relationship it is not finding the right person but to become the right person to the one that you love.And to love is not only by giving and receiving it is all by sharing...No I or no ME but WE.There was a time that we get confuse about our feelings and because of that, we made some bad decision that we do regret.If you still really love him,talk to him and be honest for everything that you want him to know,for this maybe that he can understand you or then on that there will be a constructive way of closure to your relationship with him......
2007-05-05 09:25:42 · answer #7 · answered by CARL76 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Give yourself time to heal. Of course, it hurts now and it's going to hurt for awhile, but it will get better. Don't let what he said get to you. He didn't really mean those things. He said them because he was hurt.
No, you can't be friends - not right now, maybe never. I wish I could ease your pain for you, but unfortunately it's something that you're going to have to go through. You did the right thing by breaking it off with him, so don't doubt yourself. Take one day at a time and surround yourself with people who will help you get through this.
2007-05-05 09:18:29 · answer #8 · answered by Lorie M 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He didn't "all of a sudden" get 30 years older than you.....so, from that perspective, you ARE playing games with him. He was 30 years older from the beginning, and for the last two years also. Apparently what you had together was beautiful, so what changed? It was YOUR choice to break up with him because of "age"...that's NOT going to change....it will ALWAYS be 30 years difference. "I would rather have 30 minutes of wonderful, than a lifetime of nothing special" is a quote from a movie....THINK about it! Age is ONLY a number!!
2007-05-05 09:41:01 · answer #9 · answered by olderbutwiser 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
You were the one that brought it up! Why think he is considering you as a game player? The only one who could answer this question is yourself. Do you think age is more important, or love?
2007-05-05 09:17:48 · answer #10 · answered by Jiayin S 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋