Here's the problem...she hasn't once said anything nice about her husband. He seems to be a good dad to their kids, but isn't doing well at the husband part, as far as I can see. She says she loves him, but as I said, all she does is complain about what he does wrong. (Doesn't support her career, doesn't help around the house, is too involved in his career, etc, etc,) She wants me to tell her if she should stay or go...I've already gently pointed out that she may not love him, since she finds it impossible to find any positive character traits, and yet she gets cross with me when I do that.
2007-05-04 23:01:15 · 8 answers · asked by ? 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
How about telling her she's a big girl and has to make her own decisions! Let her know what ever she decides to do you'll be there for her, but ultimately the decision is her's to make. Allowing yourself to be dragged into her marriage is a recipe for disaster. As I said, step back but let her know your still there if she needs you, it's the best thing you can do for her. She has to handle her marriage on her own....
2007-05-05 00:08:04 · answer #1 · answered by Innisfil g 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your step daughter is perhaps going through an attention deficit disorder, ADD, very notbaly diagnosed in young children. In this case normally the person who earleir gets lots of or some attention does not receive it any more. This does not go well and the person becomes irritated at a smallest exception that he or she may note. In this case you mention that the husband loves his kids and take care. So we can see two diffrenet traits of Husband. With Kids he is fine. At his job , he is concentrating but with his wife he is having problems. May be the lady is confronting him at all the wrong areas, where he will not like to.
So please suggest your daughter , for her family sake, and for some time, drop her expectation level as low as she can. And enjoy what ever small she is getting from her husband and do not concentrate on what she is not. See, if she leaves her husband , she anyway will not be getting anything more of him. but her childern will be split between two parents, a big big cost for them. So for their sake and her sake also she should try to remove all her expectations, and try to rediscover her self and her husband in same block. Otherwise her exit doors are always near to her. that route can be chosen anyday.
2007-05-05 06:16:11 · answer #2 · answered by AayTee 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't involve yourself in their marriage. The next time she asks just suggest that she talk to her husband about how she's feeling. Suggest that they go out together for dinner or something so they can spend some time together and talk about their marriage. Explain that you really can't help her or tell her what to do about her marriage because it's her marriage. Try being supportive instead of telling her she doesn't love him. She obviously does which is why she's trying to figure out how to solve the problems affecting her marriage. If you really want to help, you could offer to babysit for them while they spend some time together, it sounds like thats really the only problem, not enough time alone and not enough communication.
2007-05-05 06:12:57 · answer #3 · answered by Alyeria 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She's not a newlywed by what I can tell (kids) she should be adult enough to either handle the constructive criticisms or handle her own marriage. She sounds like she's just looking for someone to vent to more than anything. I would, basically, cut her off every time she starts a conversation about him. She'll either get the hint or ask you why. If she asks tell her you feel you can't offer her advice because she has ignored it in the past. She'll get over it.
2007-05-05 06:07:20 · answer #4 · answered by uknowme 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Usually in situations like that, you only get to hear her kvetching and you see none of the good things. She comes to you to vent, she doesn't come to you when things are doing alright. So just recognize that you may have a skewed vision of what's really going on.
2007-05-05 06:05:14 · answer #5 · answered by dmanley 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Stay out of it. If she gets mad when you tell her the truth, then she just wants someone to agree with her.
More trouble than it's worth.
2007-05-05 06:13:10 · answer #6 · answered by Tumbleweed 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't say anything. She has to make up her own mind. She asks you but really doesn't like to hear your opinion.
2007-05-05 06:06:17 · answer #7 · answered by luckford2004 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She wants you to tell her to go, so she can blame you if she's not happy. Stay well out of it!
2007-05-05 06:14:26 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋