2.The only similarity between ancient times and the 1970's is that both were full of people getting stoned.
3.Did you hear about the vet that had to prescribe Viagra to the alligator? It had reptile dysfunction.
4.It's only fitting that it's tailors who pull the wool over our eyes.
2007-05-04 19:05:43 · 8 answers · asked by AUNTY 3 in Education & Reference ➔ Words & Wordplay
he couldn't make light the fire, he lost his flame. The plane could start, its' piolet was out. The old lady couldn't go to bed ,she planted her flowers in it. A man wanted to dig his own grave but couldn't he was gone.
2007-05-04 19:36:49 · answer #1 · answered by ruth4526 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Here's some job-related humor (the clean ones)
BEEN THERE, DONE THAT
My first job was working in a juice factory, but I got canned...couldn't concentrate.
Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack... couldn't hack it; they gave me the axe.
After that, I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it. Mostly 'cause it was a sew sew job.
Next I tried working in a muffler factory but you know, that was exhausting.
Wanted to be a barber, but I just couldn't cut it.
Then I tried to be a chef figured it would add a little spice to my life, but I just didn't have the thyme.
Next, I found being an electrician interesting, but the work was shocking.
And I studied a long time to become a doctor, but I really didn't have any patients.
I became a professional fisherman, but discovered that I couldn't live on my net income.
I managed to get a good job working for a pool maintenance company, but the work was just too draining.
I got a job at a zoo feeding giraffes, but I was fired from there, because I wasn't up to it.
Finally, I attempted to be a deli worker, but any way I sliced it, I couldn't cut the mustard.
After many years of trying to find steady work, I finally got a job as an historian... until I realized there was just no future in it.
My last job was working at Starbucks, but I had to quit because it was always the same old grind.
2007-05-05 15:35:26 · answer #2 · answered by Seebs 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
1. The new pair of glasses you wear is eye-catching!
2.He couldn't hear; he turned a deaf ear to what others told about him.
3.When asked who dropped the glass jar?', the child spilled the beans!
4. Mercy was ready to foot the bill for the new pair of shoes she decided to buy..
5.Alfred wanted 4 quarter coins for a dollar & had to wait for a change!.
6.The laundry owner ironed out his difference with a difficult customer.
Enough?
Where is my tenner?
2007-05-04 19:59:33 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
The constipated mathematician worked it out with a pencil
She thought her nose was running but its not
The optician got caught in the lens grinder and nearly made a spectacle of himself
He's blunt but he has a point.
2007-05-04 19:06:56 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
My girlfriend said I'm insensitive.
It didn't bother me.
Do bulimic techies url after every meal?
A guy had his 111 IQ score results printed,
and was eager to show his fiance. Upon
her confirmation of its legitimacy, she left.
She's a Roman numerologist.
2007-05-04 19:31:28 · answer #5 · answered by rockman 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The wise guy didn't realize just what luck number was drawn for him. So the dummy took it from him or rather added to it.
2007-05-05 01:05:36 · answer #6 · answered by Henry 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The muffler installer who quit his job because he was exhuasted.
The retread saleman who retired.
2007-05-04 19:12:38 · answer #7 · answered by Village Player 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
idk any. search google!
2007-05-05 10:35:18 · answer #8 · answered by imputh 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋