Why is life so hard?

Question

I try and try and try to please people and it just seems like they don't care and it isn't good enough. I have tried to please my family and make them proud of me even though I shouldn't because of all the stuff they have done to me through the years and are still doing.

I have tried to please my b/f and show him how much I love him and it gets me no where. He says that he cares about me but don't know if he wants to be with me, he won't touch me and hasn't kissed me in months. I told him that I needed a break tonight, did I do the wrong thing?

I try to please everyone around me, coworkers, friends, family and even people I don't know, I like to help people out and be nice, be there for them when they need something or someone and it is like everything blows up in my face.

I have had such a hard life and it isn't getting any easier. I am 27, divorced and raising three small kids on my own with no help.

I have a part time job as a Sub. at my kids school and with the money from that and the little a** child support check I get I can't pay the bills. I have no money for food right now and am getting behind on my bills.

All I ever wanted was to give my kids a better life then what I had and be able to do for them and I can't. I feel like a bad person and a bad mother. I am about to loose my mind, I don't know what to do. Can anyone please give me some advice or just tell me to shut up and quit wining, I don't care, I just want my kids and I to be happy and to be able to do more for them. I also want people to appreciate things I do and stop thinking that I am this bad person that I am not, why am I not good enough for anyone? "as she cries" I try so hard, I don't know what to do, help please.

Answer 1

I don't know why life is so hard... sometimes it just IS, and there is nothing you can do about that. What you can do about it is change the way you react to things. You may never be able to please your family... I'm 44, and I still cant please mine..... what you can do is please yourself, do what you think is the right thing, and they will just have to deal with it.
Your boyfriend is a dead loss, you don't need him. You did the right thing to tell him you need a break... continue to do the right thing and make it a permanent break.... one day you will find a man who appreciates the things that you do to please him.
You can continue to help the people around you, but only if it is convenient for you.... if its not convenient...you might still want to help them out if this is a reciprocal relationship, but if it seems that you are doing all the giving, and they are doing all the taking, this will drain you.... just stop helping them... you will feel better for it.
Its a good thing you are doing, raising your children on your own..... just remember to take time out for yourself, and not be a doormat. Some people are emotional leeches and they will suck you dry if you let them.... don't let them.

Answer 2

Maybe you are trying too hard...relax. If you push your kindness too hard onto people you will just push them away. There is one person that you are neglecting! YOU! Take some time for you -- right now the way you feel is the time to give to yourself. Being all sweet and goodness to you is the right start. Take a bubble bath. Have the kids help you set up some music, some candles and take some time for you. You will notice a huge change in the world around you and your children. You could make this a weekly or monthly ritual.

P>S> call your local welfare office and get some emergency food stamps or sign up for some....please, make sure your children are taken care of first....let the rest of the world try it on there own for awhile. ok?????

Answer 3

Hi there,

First things first:FOOD. Go to your local Dept of social services and apply for emergency assistance. Be completely honest;You will leave there with food stamps to buy food for you and your babies. Bring copy of any shut off notices for your utilities and they will pay them off as well. Depending on what state you are in, you may also be eligible for WIC(Women, Infants and Children) They provide milk, eggs, cheese, and cereal which will help to stretch your food stamps.
Now for the answer to your questions: I think the answer to your question is in The Secret by Rhonda Byrne. We attract that which we think about and focus on. So if you think life is hard, it will get harder and harder. Some people think The Secret is new age and anti-christian but it's not. It is really about prayer done the right way:with confidence as instructed by Christ. So go ahead try it. Say this as an affirmation: " I am now receiving an easy life." " I am receiving friends that value and respect me." Try to visualize it. This works, though sometimes it takes a while which can lead to giving up and the loss of that which was being sent/manifested in response and try to push away any negative thoughts. Try it for 2 months and see what happens. You have nothing to lose and maybe something to learn

Answer 4

Well, it's not working for you so stop it.

Start pleasing yourself and your kids - that should be the most important. Yes, you first- cause your outlook and mental health is really important for your kids - you are setting an example and then they are next in line.

Everyone else can just "tuff it". You put to much pressure on yourself and it's running you into the ground. You are worthy of respect and love and affection without having to be a push over. If they don't think your nice or a good girl - well , that's fine. Sometimes you have to be a ***** to get what you need.

Answer 5

Maybe you should try talking to someone. Like a counselor or a girlfriend or something. You need to be strong for your kids and yourself and don't worry about pleasing everyone else. You can't do it, I can't do it, No one can please all the people all the time.
Maybe you can get some help from a local church or shelter. Good Luck. Stay strong. Don't give up.

Answer 6

don't give up like Linda said keep going and another thing you have your 3 kids to look out for and they should be your main priority if something was to happen to you what about your kids?don't give up just because of Life is being so hard on you right now and if your b/f and family and friends still gives you a hard time tell everybody to just back off that you can handle your own self without having to put up with them.sure they're be mad but you got to look out for you and the kids.that's your main priority and hold your head up high

Answer 7

You know it's time to let go. People take you for granted & don't realize how special you are, so show them that they never know what they have until it's gone. Only focus on your kids because life isn't that easy for anyone either, it's a bitchh because if it was a slutt it would have been easy. Don't run from the pain, go towards it ;)

Answer 8

They best thing you can do is to not try so hard. Taking care of others is important, but taking care of yourself is too. Make yourself happy, be a good person and always try to do your best. That is what will get the people who are important to you to take notice and respect you. Acting like a servant to them will not.

Answer 9

Maybe you need Jesus in your life:) HE can and will help you if you give your life to Him:) He loves you and will never hurt you or do you wrong. Just give up trying to run your life and give it to Him to run. I guarantee you will have a better life. It may not be how you want it all the time but He will always be their to help you. GOOD LUCK!

Answer 10

***what about u? are u proud of who u r? are u proud of what you've done? are u proud of how far you've come and how strong you've been? isn't it time to make you proud of YOU?! life's hard for everyone...we each have our own crosses to bear... thing is you've gotta do your best and know that you've done that best that u could faced w/ the obstacles you've been faced with. if u know in your heart that you've done your best then really you're already there... if you live for everyone else you'll never make it.

and as far as your bf goes... no u didn't do the wrong thing. u did what u needed to do... go easy on yourself.