Why is life so hard?

Question

I try and try and try to please people and it just seems like they don't care and it isn't good enough. I have tried to please my family and make them proud of me even though I shouldn't because of all the stuff they have done to me through the years and are still doing.

I have tried to please my b/f and show him how much I love him and it gets me no where. He says that he cares about me but don't know if he wants to be with me, he won't touch me and hasn't kissed me in months. I told him that I needed a break tonight, did I do the wrong thing?

I try to please everyone around me, coworkers, friends, family and even people I don't know, I like to help people out and be nice, be there for them when they need something or someone and it is like everything blows up in my face.

I have had such a hard life and it isn't getting any easier. I am 27, divorced and raising three small kids on my own with no help.

Answer 1

Stop trying to please everyone.

This is your life and your the driver. Its your car and if they dont like it well screw them. Only you can choose the path will you go down the same old path of which consists of pleasing others or will you down the unknown path, where you are in full-control and confident of your life. The life which consists of a stronger individual with a more firm attitude. People should like you for who you are and you shouldnt have to please anyone.

Anyone who doesn't like me, I don't really care because this is my life and I'll make my descions and I'll try to make them as wise a possible. What is important is that I am content with myself, that I believe in myself and that I keep dreaming of a future where I will suceed.

You have to fight for what you believe in, If all you do is try to please others then how can you enjoy yourself. Take pride in yourself and pursue a new hobby. Its never to late to change life around.

Also this saying sometimes does hold true "Life is as hard as you make it" Try not to take pleasing people so seriously if you really need to please them so much to make them like you then there obviously not true friends.

Answer 2

Hey girl i hear you! Life like that is stressful, but sometimes do you feel like that's all you have left is stress? I'll give you an example: I'm twenty years old and newly married, when my husband and i were dating i was in the delayed entry program for the army and he was already in the army and my Jounier Achievement Teacher at school. SO to cut a LONG story short, my family and i don't get along b/c we are WAY TOO different, and they'll never accept me for that. I've lived god knows how many years just trying to hear my dad say that he's proud of me, but ya know what? he'll never do that. It's something i've come to realize and it still hurts but i know that nothing i do will ever change that. I spent SO many years trying to gain everyones "good side" or be known as that "girl that everyone likes b/c she's so nice"! But it NEVER worked! not once did i achieve the ultimate goal that i so despretly wanted. All i did was make MYSELF unhappy. YOU know who you are. you know your dislikes, your likes, the real color of your hair, and what you look like when you are at your highest and lowest points. YOU know your innermost thoughts and dirty little secrets, and what you want to really do with your life and what you wish you WOULD have done. So in order to please everyone, you have to please yourself. B/c , in my opinion, pleasing everyone else and leaving your self empty just automatically lets everyone walk all over you, it's like a giant sign is painted on you that says "hey im gonna let you take advantage of me b/c im nice". BE SELFISH! i am ALL FOR the pleasing people...as long as you get some selfrewarding feeling or pleasure out of it. but if your not and you're just falling deeper and deeper into the bowl of "emptiness and unfullfillment" then things are gonna start unraviling at the seams...and it's not gonna be pretty. SO STAND UP AND SAY: Hey! I am doing something pretty darn hard BY MYSELF *the raising 3kids part* AND working my tail off at work AND i have time for everyone else....so ya know what???? I'm gonna be selfish for just a bit and then i'm going back to my normal happy self." if you can weed out of your life the negitivity and realize that sometimes pleasing everyone is JUST NOT plausiable, then you'll start to heal. Good luck girl it's going to be a bumpy ride...but honestly, if it was easy; it wouldn't be worth doing it. stand up for yourself, you can still please people*there is nothing wrong with that* but you also need to please yourself...and that comes first. good luck~

Answer 3

well dear..life maybe hard but sometimes it can be beautiful and colourful too.Everybody knows that life is complicated and ironic..You see if we ain't face hard and difficulties in our life we will never fill relieve if we achive goodness.Because
all of the 'hard' that we had been trough in life make us feel grateful toward what happen in our life,and from the hardness we learn something news and make our life become more sumptuous.

you really a kind and good mother.is not your fault if you like to help people and do anything for them.If we do somethings nice to others people we know or not someday other people will help we back its like a karma you know..trust me maybe it will take time but you still will have an happy ending..

take a good care of your childrens and try to be positive and patient to whatever you have to face in life..

Good luck then..!!!

Answer 4

Whatever doesnt kill you makes you stronger. Cliche but true. Just try to think about yourself instead of pleasing everyone else.The only people you have to worry about pleasing is yourself and your kids. And it sounds like you're doing a great job with your kids. 3 of them with no help? I think I would have a breakdown haha. Keep up the good work.

Answer 5

Prayer of the Refuge - Rise Against Anthem For the Underdog - 12 Stones Apathy is A Deathwish - Story of the Year Our Time is Now - Story of the Year Wake Up the Voiceless - Story of the Year Five Agaist The World - Story of the Year

Answer 6

You are right from what you wrote your life is hard. You don't seem to even have time to get your thoughts together because your world keeps turning and life happens.

There are two ways to make choices in life. Wisely or foolishly. Look for someone who can be a mentor to you to help you make wise decisions. Read books that will help you make wise, life choices and encourage you. If you don't get you own mind in focus someone else will do it for you. If you don't get your life in order someone else will order it for you.

Answer 7

I'm sorry. You can't please people. They just won't allow you.

So here is what you do: STOP GIVING OTHERS POWER OVER YOU.

Find people who LOVE to be pleased by you rather than trying to please people you can't. You can't please them if they don't WANT you to. It's just like teachers: you can be the best teacher in the world, but if the student refuses to listen, they'll never be taught, PERIOD.

I know it hurts, but if your family does this to you, they are USING you because they know you will just DO MORE. Forget it. Once they realize you can't please them, they will get off your case. If they withdraw their love, they never loved you in the first place. FIND PEOPLE WHO DO LOVE YOU.

About your boyfriend, if he has stopped being loving toward you, find someone who will. Stop trying to please him.

I promised myself a LONG time ago that I'd be pleased with my fiancee NO MATTER WHAT she did. As a result, the mistakes DO NOT add up, the pain does not add up, the negativity does not add up. The ONLY thing that adds up is her love toward me. When she understands that she is PERPETUALLY loved, she goes out of her way to please ME. It should be the same with anyone.

Your b/f has decided that he somehow needs MORE to fullfill him. Tell him it won't fly.

Hope that helps,
Jon

Answer 8

Hey hon,

Im sorry things are so rough for you right now. Its does seem that you are constantly doing for others. Perhaps its time you thought of just your children and yourself? I dont know the answers, I just wanted to say I do care and things will get better soon. One day, today will just be a distant memory.

Take care

Answer 9

Your a nurturer. Who cares for people and their needs, and when it's you who needs nurturing , you get nothing. This is how I am. I have sucker tattooed on my forehead. Then if you say anything about needing help it's like nobody knows you. especially the neediest people that you do so much for. the thing that PO's me is I can never find a nurturer, Just life sucking ingrates. Sound familiar? that's what makes life so hard.

Answer 10

did you know you said "i have tried to please..." four times and not once did you say you try to please yourself? the world doesnt owe you anything. all you can do is take care of you and your kids. you are trying to please people? why? cause you care about them? love them? i'm not saying you dont love them or care BUT if that was the ONLY reason then you'd be happy. you would be doing what you "want" to do and that is to love and pleasing people. so why arent you happy? because deep down you didnt want to love and please them just for that. you expected them to love and please you back. and they didnt and now you feel jipped. it's what i tell my kids, if youre going to do something kind to someone then do it because you want to, NOT because you want something done kind to you. that's not true generosity. so 1. your heart isnt in the right place. and 2. you need to stop trying to please people who can't measure up to your standards. i dont know these people but i'm thinking they give you all they can give. you however probably want more than what they can give. this comes from low self esteem and abandonment issues. please see a counselor. if not go to barnes and noble and get some books on how to love yourself. you have three kids to raise, they dont need to see you busting your butt trying to get people's love and attentions. you should be giving it ONLY to them. and do it cause youre their momma not cause you want them to love you back. good luck!