how to deal with a boss who always has to be right, and says everything is your fault?

Question

my boss has good and bad side, he is humourous, down to earth most of time, but he MUST win every arguments, i often feel deflated after talking to him, because i feel so 'stupid' since he is so 'right' about everything. Because his need to win everything, he has made me lose a big sale last week, when i explain my frustration to him, he told me that its all my fault that i 've lost the deal, he has nothing to do with it, he doesn't care about our relationship etc, i cried and feel very unappreciated, he has everything to do with the deal i've lost, because he insisted some optional documents to be signed by a client, even after i've told him the client would bail, he refuse to listen (i met the client 2 times he has never met the client), we lose the sale. What should i do with this normally nice boss but 'arrogant and argumentative' at the same time?

Answer 1

If this is your client and you obviously were aware of his personality why did you give these documents to the client to sign? You could have easily handled this by saying I got the client here are the signed documents that he/she has secured our services, but in order to get the sale he refused to sign these optional documents. End of story. If your boss wishes to be argumentative (you definitely have a bully on your hands) walk away. Do not engage in such destructive behavior. Do not stoop to his level and stop letting him intimidate you. A person with the characteristics you describe are definitely suffering from serious self-esteem issues. Again, not your problem. You write he makes you feel stupid because "he is so right about everything." I find this unlikely. Nobody is right about everything and the fact that you lost the client after you warned him you would further proves my point. You do not need to win the arguments. Let this fool continue believing he is winning every argument with you, but you MUST take a stand when it comes to your clients and do what you feel is right to secure the deal. Otherwise you are setting yourself up for failure no matter where you work at.

Answer 2

I would guess that your boss is a he and you are a she. This is a common issue with male/female relationships in the workplace because women tend to value the "relationship" while men value the "task" and compete to win. Understand I'm not implying that any sort of personal relationship is going on; rather, your concern is that the boss doesn't care, doesn't appreciate, makes you feel stupid, etc. His concern appears to be appearing "right" at all costs.

Rather than trying to argue with this guy, try asking questions - "Boss, the client has already told me she won't sign the optional agreement. How would you suggest 'we' handle this?" This make your problem his problem, too, and forces him to look at the possible solutions rather than focusing on how he is going to win the argument with you. He needs to be able to share his knowledge in a way that puts the two of you on the same side rather than in an adversarial relationship.

Good luck!

Answer 3

You need to talk to him. There is absolutely no reason to cry. Find another job before you do this just in case. Some people really don't know how they are, so sometimes you have to!! There is a respectful and disrespectful way to speak to him. You should say it respectfully. If he gets angry say I will come back later. Most people that act like that get frustrated when you are calm. If he still doesn't listen say, you cannot manage like this always, you are a great person with bad attitude and integrity which is a must at a workplace. That's all you need to say, don't get all upset because when you say it this way he will be thinking about it a lot more and understand even though he will show off and act like he's right. I think he will respect you more when you stand up for yourself. You are your worst enemy...so stand up and be heard!

Answer 4

Report him. Or quit.