i have a problem with forgive people who never apologize and mending the relationship, I will forgive people if they sincerely apologize and mend the relationship, but not otherwize. People say you have to forgive to find peace which i agree, i love to forgive if others can show some corporation. I can't forgive those who never apologize because i think 'if they can do this without apologize, what if they do it again and hurt me again?' can someone tell me is this way of thinking normal? e.g. i had a best friend who backstabbed me to others, i was very hurt, i apologized to her for anything she maybe unhappy with me, but she never sincerely apologized, so we are not talking, I'd LOVE to forgive her but she never give me any chance, should i just forgive people any any cost so i can find peace?
2007-05-04 13:50:53 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
In Luke 17:3-4, Jesus says, “I am warning you! If another believer sins, rebuke him; then if he repents, forgive him. Even if he wrongs you seven times a day and each time turns again and asks forgiveness, forgive him.”
The way I read it is one must apologize or ask for forgiveness to be forgiven. So I do not see you are doing anything wrong by not forgiving someone that does not apologize first.
2007-05-04 13:59:34 · answer #1 · answered by ambernpeach 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Remember one thing, NOT forgiving someone is drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. Or, as the movie, Antwone Fisher says, "Why do I need to forgive?" "To free yourself."
Here's another analogy that helped me. If you walk into a morgue (where they keep dead people) and pull out a corpse and just start stabbing it over and over again, will it be hurt? Will it flinch? No, of course not, it's dead! In the same way, if you can learn to put to death your own pride and arrogance, your selfish desires and need for revenge, then forgiving becomes easier. All of a sudden, the well being of others is more important because you realize they are more needy than you. I hope this makes sense and I hope it helps. Good luck.
2007-05-04 14:03:44 · answer #2 · answered by Jimmy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No. I have not have been given any hassle and the advice i might supply is to look at it this way: all of us incorrect everybody and no-one likes to be grudged against. I say basically forgive them as quickly as you could, whether or no longer they are fairly sorry or no longer, and concentration on what you're able to do to repair YOUR project or embarrassment. The Bible instructions forgiveness however. If we don't forgive others, the factor will come while God won't forgive you, so now may be the time!
2017-01-09 12:28:32 · answer #3 · answered by santacruz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have the same problem and im a very unhappy person a cant forgive or forget and my mom tells me if you want to have peace and feel happy with your self just forgive and let everything to the past i think you should try that it might help you
2007-05-04 13:59:31 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey, I am not an expert but I can surly tell you that when people don't apologize they meant what they said so there is no need for an apology. If you don't forgive them that means that your spirit is telling you to stay away from them so do so.. people come and go don't change who you are just to please someone who u can't change. For give her in your heart and let god handle the rest. If she has a good spirit like you then one day she will come around to apologizing.
2007-05-04 14:21:33 · answer #5 · answered by Chan 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should always forgive, even in the worst of circumstances. If people see that you are a forgiving person, then they will be less likely to wrong you in the first place, which would totally solve the problem.
2007-05-04 13:56:42 · answer #6 · answered by Skyline 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You must stop contradicting yourself for your own good. Don't lie to yourself and say you would love to forgive her.
Please understand it is in your power to forgive. That means you can do it if you really want to.
The answer to your last question is yes.
Personally, I deal with this on a continuing basis. When an old would surfaces, I redirect my thoughts to forgiveness. Then the resentment shrinks.
If her level of love and happiness are close enough to yours, she will be attracted to you. If not, you will find much cooler people to deal with.
2007-05-04 14:38:47 · answer #7 · answered by flip33 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why forgive someone who isn't sorry? If they aren't sorry they aren't worth your time.
You certainly do not have to forgive to find peace, you simply need to move along once it's a done deal. Don't dwell on what happened, or how it could have gone better. This is a waste of energy.
The best bit of advice I can see here is, treat people first how you would want them to treat you. Once they don't treat you with the same respect, treat them how they DESERVE to be treated. If they hurt you and aren't sorry, then just cut them loose. You don't have to be nasty, but you also don't have to have anything to do with them.
2007-05-04 14:02:19 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Forgiving and forgetting, to some extent, are two different things.
We can forgive but still remain cautious of that person's behavior. It would be foolish to do otherwise.
Sometimes it is best to say, "ok, I forgive them, I accept they are the way they are, but that is not the kind of person I want in my life"
2007-05-04 13:55:50 · answer #9 · answered by CountryLady 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Why would you forgive someone who did not sincerely apologize? I let them go.
2007-05-04 13:58:47 · answer #10 · answered by rattyboo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋