My boyfriend and I been together almost 2 years and its a good relationship. We are sexually active, but lately I been seriously thinking about being celibate and waiting until marriage. I brought the topic up and he says if i really want to do it then we have to stop doing a lot of things; like touching and maybe passionately kissing. I dont want to stop that because i'm a touchy feeling person and I love to kiss, but he said its provoking us and it would have work out a lot better if we wasn't sexually active.
Honestly do you think its too late to turn back and become celibate if when been active for almost a year.?I love sex just like the next person but this is something i really want to do.
2007-05-04 13:06:49 · 10 answers · asked by Miss Keys 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I want to be celibate for religious reason and no I'm not ready for marriage so i'm not trying to get him to pop the question.
2007-05-04 13:30:22 · update #1
I been becoming more religious as i get older.
2007-05-04 13:31:35 · update #2
You are being selfish asking him to go backwards. He is being selfish threatening you with no intimacy at all.
Get a new boyfriend, and be celibate from the beginning.
2007-05-04 13:10:32 · answer #1 · answered by Vivian D 4 · 2⤊ 2⤋
You two need a lot of talking, as I get the impression that none understands the other.
Why does your bf want to stop touching and kissing, if you want to stop having sex until marriage? Is he afraid that closeness may lead to sex and that he cannot act according to your wish? Or is he angry about your decision?
Honestly I don't see why you had your "serious thoughts" after having already had an active sex live with your bf and not before the two of you had sex the first time together.
Being celibate until marriage is normally understood having had no sex at all before marriage.
I could understand him if he was bewildered about your decision, maybe even angry.
2007-05-04 20:14:26 · answer #2 · answered by corleone 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Celibacy is good 4 sure. Try reading the book, "Good News about Sex and Marriage" by Christopher West outloud with your boyfriend. Read the whole book together (167 pgs ... don't skip stuff either), and then you two together can talk about what you can and cannot do. This is a good thing ... learning to talk about sex before marriage. It's not blown ... but you BOTH need to voice your wants, needs, and come to a working solution.
If he's religious too ... usually Priests, Ministers, or other Spiritual leaders can help you both on your journey.
2007-05-04 21:05:29 · answer #3 · answered by Giggly Giraffe 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You must do whatever you feel like doing cause it's your body.
But make sure of something....you have to really give some good thought to what I'm about to say...
Is there any possibility at all that you only want to stop having sex until marriage to make him pop the question?
Cause that would be wrong for both of you.
If you're 100% certain that this ain't the case you should go ahead and do what feels right for you:-)
2007-05-04 20:20:12 · answer #4 · answered by Jen C 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know, I think that is absolutely wonderful. It really is worth it waiting. My wife and I waited. We attended pre-marital counseling at our church and that was one of the topics along with alot of other useful things (I would also recommend you do the same). It really was worth it. On our wedding night, I got to unvale her and see her in all her glory. Females are fearfully and wonderfully made BTW.
Bottom line...It's never too late....It will get easier and it's more fullfilling if you wait....kinda like reading the last chapter in a book that you always wanted to read or having the dessert first b/f the main course...it spoils your dinner....your passion for each other will be just that much more developed by the time you are wedded...I'd really encourage you to keep on truckin the way you're doing.....Take Care....
2007-05-04 20:55:08 · answer #5 · answered by prouddaddy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I somewhat agree with the boyfriend. I wouldn't be able to take it unless the marriage was being planned.
If you decide to be celibate until marriage, be prepared to also be single for a while until you find a man with the same values.
2007-05-04 21:02:38 · answer #6 · answered by Lotus Phoenix 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honey, it's never too late....
GOOD FOR YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :) : ) :)
Hey, if he loves you for YOU and not just your body, he'll respect your wishes....otherwise, he's a dump waiting to happen.
And you can tell him for me that kissing and sex ARE NOT the same thing. Sounds like he's trying to blackmail you by saying you won't get what you want and need if he doesn't get what he wants.....
Better decide, and put your foot down one way or the other. If he isn't able to say yes to this now, what will he be like with you after marriage?
2007-05-04 21:00:24 · answer #7 · answered by lady_phoenix39 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's never too late! I guess it would depend on your reason for going celibate. If it's for him, he has already been with you. You're are doing him no favors. That's like giving a kid candy and then later taking it away. If it's for religious reasons - GO FOR IT!
2007-05-04 20:17:28 · answer #8 · answered by Truth Hurts 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that's a very hard thing to do if you've already had sex. However, I respect people who choose to be celibate and are until they're married. I think's it's a very honorable thing--something someone should be proud of!
If you really want to, then go for it! I think it would be a great thing to do.
2007-05-04 20:11:09 · answer #9 · answered by schmidttyconnect 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You already gave him the candy now you are taking it away from him. It already is to late now you might as well give in. He will get tired of doing other things to himself and he will want to have the real thing. I think if you both wait your just going to get frustrated and achy lol.
2007-05-04 20:13:01 · answer #10 · answered by luvlisteningtomusic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋