How can I make my common law wife feel more secure?

Question

Been together off an on for about 9 years now. In the day, I work a white collar job at an investment firm, making really good money. At night, even before I met her, I guest bartend and sometimes maitre'd at 5 'gentlemen's clubs' around the city. I like bartending, in particular at these types of places if you know what I mean, its not for money. Anyway, after a long day of work at both jobs, i sometimes need to unwind a bit before coming home, so sometimes it gets pretty late. She suspects, rightfully so, that sometimes I 'play' at work, but she cannot prove it, so in my mind, it 'never happened' in her mind, at least that's how she should see it. I don't question her about what she does while I'm out, so I don't think she should question me. How can I make her feel more secure and back off a bit?

Answer 1

Maybe you should try taking accountability for you actions and be honest with her? Jerk.

Answer 2

I don't get out much so don't laugh, but is a gentleman's club for men, or for women?
So...if it's not for money, what do you do it for?
You say "rightfully so" that she suspects something....so that means you ARE playing at work, RIGHT?
She can't prove it, but it's true....so why are you playing games with her?
You know you are doing wrong and evidently she's picking up on your vibes.

If you really love her, quit playing around and MARRY HER. IF NOT, quit playing around with her already...it's been almost 10 years!!!

Answer 3

why ?
she has every right to hammer you
but then WHY do you want security? by definition you do not want it since you play around
why not kick her loose and be free and single

BTW where do you live where common law wife is in effect, most states no longer recognize it, In fifteen states and the District of Columbia (see below), though, common law marriages are recognized. If a man and a woman (same-sex marriages aren't recognized) live together and "intend to be married" by acting like they are married, telling people they are married, and doing the things married people do (using words like "husband" and "wife," filing joint tax returns, etc.), they become common law spouses. This gives them the same rights and responsibilities as people who got married the old-fashioned way, with a trip to City Hall and a wedding.

Answer 4

I don't think you can make your girl feel more secure. She seems to be right to be suspicious of you. Just because she hasn't caught you in the act doesn't give you the right to do what you want.

When you are in a committed relationship, you respect your mate in all instances of life. Not just when they happen to be in your presence.

Re-evaluate yourself and ask if your girl can do better than what you're offering her out of life. I think you'll find the answer to be that she should walk away from you.

Answer 5

i might have communique with the in rules, write a letter, email, which ever, yet what I would desire to assert is this: In a worldwide the place divorce takes place daily, and husbands and different halves are at one yet another's throats, you 2 have found a thank you to make it artwork, and everybody is happy. Why might you alter the order of how the infants are cared for now? Does he understand the cost he alleviates via being abode? What approximately foodstuff? tried to feed the kin on quickly foodstuff for below 40.00 recently? they might desire to take some delight interior the existence your husband loves, the kin he helps (specific, helps).... how would desire to you carry the completed paycheck abode if the completed element replaced into going to baby care, besides? they might desire to greenback up and have slightly comprehend, and admit that what you and he have works, and take some delight in the way you're elevating the infants jointly. You adult adult males are doing a impressive activity, take slightly delight in what you accomplish and ditch the unfavorable reaction. The comments that remember are those of his spouse and infants,so, he must be happy to invite them what they think of of all of it. there is the reaction that counts. I wish you luck, costly, and God bless you and yours.

Answer 6

You can make her feel more secure by being honest and then leaving so that she can find a real man who won't need to worry about making her feel secure. There is no other way for YOU to make her feel secure. Only real men are able to keep their gf/wife happy and secure.

Answer 7

You can start by getting real. Why bother lying. Just say, "hey, I sleep around. Don't like it LEAVE". Then go find a woman to put up with that BS.

Answer 8

Since you like to play with other women, why should she feel secure? She already has your ticket. Sounds to me it's more important for you to make yourself happy. She would be much more secure by finding someone else....permanently.

Answer 9

If the shoe was on the other foot you would feel as she does.
MARRY HER!!!! It's been 9 years what are you waiting on? For her to hit the lottery? If you still don't know if she's the one after years you need to move on...........

Answer 10

if your first job pays so well then maybe forego the second job, stay at homw with her, take her out to dinner, cuddle...dont spend your time late night at sleezy places using work as an excuse. i cant believe she is still with you.

Answer 11

What you want is someone to approve of you. What you want is people to think you're "the man" but really this type of question is just pathetic. "...she cannot prove it, so in my mind, it 'never happened' in her mind, at least that's how she should see it..." You're just gross!