Married for 17yrs, together for 22yrs. 3 children. He's been living away from the home for 14 months. We have been going to marriage counseling for 8 months. I love him with all my heart but he say's his feelings aren't what they should be yet to be able to come back home. How long would you wait?
2007-05-04 11:52:25 · 18 answers · asked by april rain 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
How long do you want to keep your life on hold? 1 year, 2, 3? Because that's what you're doing. You are waiting around for your husband to decide what you'll be doing for the rest of your life. How long are you willing to wait for him to make up his mind? What if another year goes by and he tells you that he's done and he wants a divorce? Imagine the time you wasted.
Maybe it's time for you to take control of your life and you call all the shots. Sit down and think about what YOU want, what is good for you and your children, don't wait for your husband to decide what's good for you. If it doesn't work out you'll have to call your own shots then, so why not do it now.
Be strong, figure out if you're staying together for the right reasons or the wrong. Kids are no longer a good reason to stay together, if the relationship wasn't healthy and you were fighting all the time then they will be better off when you are happier, you'll be able to be a better mom to them once you've been able to sort your life out.
Good luck doll.
2007-05-04 12:08:56 · answer #1 · answered by Weimaraner Mom 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If he has had an affair or still is then maybe he is in a confused state of what he should do. You and him have a lot of time invested together and 3 children together. Give him 1 more month and if he can't or won't give himself to you 100% and move back in then maybe you need to decide what your next step will be. You can either live in limbo and wait or sad to say a divorce may be inevitable. Goodluck. I know it is a hard and stressful thing to go through.
2007-05-04 12:17:04 · answer #2 · answered by Tgirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i can purely imagine the emotional stress it places on your little ones. To me, it truly feels like that she does no longer recognize a thanks to address a conflict in a mature way. She does no longer have the needed skills which will enable her to resolve the conflict the way a grown, mature, smart woman would make sure it. perchance, her mom and father did not teach her those considered necessary skills. perchance, it really is the reason she has a tendency to run lower back to them, even although not in any respect surely finally ends up there. i purely can't imagine how a mature, responsible woman would evaluate boarding over the mum and father' position, pondering all the failings and inconveniences it would reason to them. the different mission is her tendency to create a conflict over no longer something. i imagine this also has to do including her lack of verbal substitute skills and immature stubbornness. No grown, responsible, mature woman would EVER behave like that. briefly, she truly needs to advance up. The question is how. She needs to procedures to paintings mutually in a mature way. each and every thing her mom and father did not teach her, or it type of appears like that. i imagine you want to be very affected man or woman including her. and attempt no longer to argue. If she tries to make a level, purely nod your head in contract, no count number how trivial the point would seem to you, and then purely keep doing all of your own mission. showing extra love and affection will surely help too. on the suitable of the day, it really is all what females favor. about the flow on Thursday, proceed to proceed with the flow as a responsible man or woman would do. it really is not about you and her anymore. it really is all about what's the superb on your little ones. little ones pick a family contributors and a good position to stay (no longer her mom and father' homestead). If she will be able to't be an man or woman adequate to comprehend this, a minimum of you may want to do it on your household and, in the starting up, on your little ones. you've a duty in course of your little ones. Do what's of their superb interest. good luck!
2016-11-25 02:47:04 · answer #3 · answered by casco 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As long as he stays in marital counseling. That's how long it will take for the therapist/counselor to ask him to make up his mind and move forward with your marriage or get out of it. That's why you're in counseling, right?
2007-05-12 06:24:51 · answer #4 · answered by kathyw 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You decide on an ultimatum, a date and then stick to it..but not before checking the balance on the credit cards!!! You both are responsible for charges on those and some people run up huge bills to hurt the other person when they file for divorce. Get you name off the cards...
2007-05-04 18:14:41 · answer #5 · answered by atheleticman_fan 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd give him a year. Sometimes people do need some time to think things through and actually "miss" their spouse.
Besides you have to be separated for a year, when you have kids, before you can get a divorce!!!
2007-05-11 21:18:31 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are only prolonging the inevitable........hes been gone enough time to think or find himself or find what he was missing............You love him, you prob will always have a space in your heart for him, youve lived separate long enough so a divorce wont take long, dont get side swiped or act blind when he tells you he wants a divorce....Good luck and take your own time off to get your feelings and life where they need to be ............
2007-05-11 20:20:19 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Looks like the time has come. If he doesn't want to be with you, then no amount of counseling will make him want to. Remember the person who files first has the upper hand in the divorce.
2007-05-04 12:02:06 · answer #8 · answered by sissyd 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think about 1 year and then it would be time to say it's over. I'd be so bitter by then I wouldn't even want her...so that means she's got another 5 months to come to her senses.......
2007-05-04 13:41:37 · answer #9 · answered by prouddaddy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As long as I have to because the only reason I would want a divorce is that my husband has been repeatedly unfaithful or abusive in anyway.
2007-05-04 12:01:47 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋