Ok, if any of you have read my previous questions, you know my marriage has some issues. My husband and I want to try to fix things and go to counseling. I'll admit...I am a little prideful about the whole "needing help" idea. How can I not feel so ashamed to need help with our marriage? Both of us need issues resolved, but can't do it on our own, we've tried working thru things by ourselves, but it just never works. So, how is counseling going to be any different at all? Anyone with any experience in marriage counseling?
2007-05-04 10:11:24 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I'm going through it right now. I was in the same boat you are in right now which was being skeptical and prideful, thinking I had all the answers. Well if you admit that you don't know everything and can listen, you can learn something. And it really is kinda fun, cause your open to intimacy and learning. I've spilt all my pride all over the floor. I've got none let in me. I wanted to change. Trust me, it can help IF both of you give it a shot, go in w/ open minds, be honest and TRY. I would recommend it to anybody.
2007-05-04 10:33:00 · answer #1 · answered by prouddaddy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I counsel couples all the time, and I've been to counseling myself. I've got a wonderful marriage, but we've been to counseling and I'm very thankful we did. Counseling makes a huge difference and don't be afraid to go. You'd be surprised how many successful marriages have been through some counseling. It's important to get a credible counselor who focuses on reconciliation.
The reason counseling works so well is that it puts a third person into the mix who can see things objectively. Being objective is usually impossible within the couple, so that third party is sometimes a necessity.
Most issues in marriage are a result of selfishness and a inability to see one's own faults. The counselor will be able to spot these early on, and guide the couple into mitigating them.
Going to counseling is not an admission of a poor marriage. It's a sign of maturity and responsibility. Find a good marriage counselor who:
- has a successful marriage
- has well mannered kids, preferably at least college age
Those type will know what they are talking about more than the younger "professionals" who only have a little schooling and a certificate going for them.
2007-05-04 18:37:32 · answer #2 · answered by Vincent 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Pick a good marriage counselor and go. You have to be able to open up and say whay you feel, though. If you don't, you will be wasting your money. The counseler should be able to walk you through all your problems if you and your husband are totally honest with her and each other. Don't leave any problems out. Get everything out in the open. If you can't handle the things that come out, you should just get a divorce and be done with it.
2007-05-04 17:34:45 · answer #3 · answered by sissyd 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I personally have not had any marriage counseling..but know couples that have. The number one thing to know before hand..is you have to open your mind..and be willing to get help. If you go in with the pride and close mind to the help.. it wont work. Do it for you and your family. Be 100 % with it and it can change your life. Give it a try..you'd be very surprised.. tell your husbad the same. Babe..lets do this.. and really except the advice and be honest and see what can happen.
Good luck..
God Bless
2007-05-04 17:16:48 · answer #4 · answered by Mily1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage guidance will help you see things from a different perspective- sometimes a third party can see things from a different angle and come up with different solutions. Go to Relate (assuming you are in the UK- i assume that this being the UK board, but a lot of people seemed confused about that). See how it works for you and just try out whatever they suggest- you might be pleasantly surprised. If they feel that your marriage cannot be saved they will help you split amicably and offer counselling to help you deal with it.
Libs
2007-05-04 17:18:10 · answer #5 · answered by Ellie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What you're feeling is very common...the fortunate thing is that counselors are use to this and are very good and taking control of the situation and making you feel comfortable and working through things at your own pace. You have a couple different options in order to get started. You can look for a counselor in your area or you can seek help from a minister...it's personal preference and cost...some couples simply don't want to put out the cost of a counselor when they are already putting so much of themselves on the line...and some insurances cover it, but here again, it's divulging to your insurance company and possibly your employer that your having marital problems...which his why ministers really are helpful! I choose to go to a counselor on my own...in hopes that in time he'd join me...which is another option a lot of people choose. He never did, but finally agreed to talk to a minister.....which really surprised me!
2007-05-04 17:52:32 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You call up a counselor. They will see you, then they will see your husband, then they will see you both together. Then they will help you talk things out and give you exercises to work on together. If you can't afford a real marriage counselor, go join a church and get it from the pastor/minister there.
2007-05-04 17:14:49 · answer #7 · answered by janicajayne 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's neutral ground. Anything you say there is supposed to be safe. You're supposed to be allowed to express your truest feelings and not have them thrown back at you. I woudl recommend it. If your marriage is on its' last legs, what have you got to lose?
2007-05-04 17:15:00 · answer #8 · answered by Shannon H 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋