I recently got an apartment with my best friend of 2 and a half years, but she went a little crazy on me and is moving out when I find a roomate. The only person I would want to live with at this point is my boyfriend. I'm 20 years old, working a real job, paying my own bills, and going to school. He's similar. We have been together for almost 5 years now, and we have known for a couple years that we will get married some day. We know everything about each other, including each other's ticks and pet peaves, but I always hear people say "don't move in with your boyfriend." I'm looking for some mature, honest advice and experience. He means everything to me and I don't want to risk our relationship.
2007-05-04 09:59:12 · 13 answers · asked by sarrey29 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Your responses have been great- I really do appreciate it. As for the first response, I would love to just get married and live together, but weddings, rings, and honeymoons aren't cheap, especially when you're in school. As for a couple other responses- my boyfriend and I are all about communication. We've been talking about it a lot. We both want to move in together and we feel the same about each other. The only thing holding us back is everyone saying "DON'T DO IT." But like some people are saying, it depends on us and our relationship. Maybe it is time to see if we live together well before we find ourselves at the alter.
2007-05-04 17:27:11 · update #1
It's the quickest way of seeing the rest of him that you still don't know about. Give it a year and you'll REALLY know what he's about. Be aware, you may not like what you find though.
2007-05-04 10:33:59 · answer #1 · answered by Unicornrider 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Speaking as a guy...
I had one girlfriend for 3 years who desperately wanted to move in with me. I knew it wasn't right and living together would not work. Sure enough we broke up and I was happy to have stood my ground.
On the other hand, the girl I'm with now I knew would be a great match and we moved in together after 6 months. Going on a year now and everything is great.
My point is it really depends on you and him and how you see each other behaving day to day. Not what other people say. And it is especially important to have independent interests outside of the home besides going out together. Living together means you will see A LOT of each other. So be prepared to give each other space now and then and TALK out the little things that may bug you before they all roll out in one lengthy "this isn't working" type discussion.
Talk a lot beforehand too...weed out the doubt.
2007-05-04 17:06:59 · answer #2 · answered by symbo61 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really do not see anything wrong with him moving in by your statements. Sometimes it is better to live together before you get married so that the two of you will know even more about each other. Just remember that you are young and a lot can happen is just a short time. Do not rush into anything. Does he feel the same way about you? Also remember that living with someone that you are intimate with is sometimes hard. Being married is no walk in the park. It takes honesty, and alot of committment. Good luck to you and your boyfriend. Hopefully everything works out for you.
2007-05-04 17:06:27 · answer #3 · answered by unknown2u 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
After 5 years together and knowing each other as you say you do, you may as well already be married in a sense. I don't think it will hurt your relationship as long as you stay focused on the same goals you have now, i.e. your relationship, school, work, etc. You sound like two very grounded young people. Should be more that have their heads on straight like you two.
2007-05-04 17:13:59 · answer #4 · answered by Kelly773 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok i have two experiences of moving in with my boyfriends when i was 19 i moved out of my parents house and moved in with my boyfriend and like you i thought i was going to marry him, well it all went down hill from there!!! it is so true what they say that the person you date is not the same person you live with. it was awful we split after about 8 months living together.
however since then i had lived on my own and met a new boyfriend and after a year i asked him to move in, now two years after that we are very very happy and planning our wedding. moving him in was the best thing ever, we have since moved to a beautiful new home of our own :)
so long and short of it is, you never know unti lyou give it a go!!! only you and your bf will know if its right!!! if you want to live with him then ask him about it. see how it goes.
i wish you all the luck and happiness in the world and hope it works out like my second experience rather than the first lol.
2007-05-04 17:04:21 · answer #5 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People will say no don't do it and it's a mortal sin....I say it's great! Me and my guy moved in together and it saved costs. We know that it is the best thing for us to do b/c we are always together...It just didn't make sence to be paying $1200.00 between both of us when we could split $600.00 and save the rest... Good luck! Be cautious b/c life always have something different planned for us and that's why we are saving money together and seperately...
2007-05-04 17:04:48 · answer #6 · answered by angelic1302 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well.. it seems like you already have been thinking about move in to his place or your place.
i mean if you guys good together why not..?
but i understand why ppl says like that.. cos it doesn't matter how long you guys been together.. you guys still living different life style even you think you know very well about him.. you will find out his bad side.. and he will see your bad side that you guys really didn't know while you together for 5 years..
but don't worry you guys talking about getting married maybe you should try to live with him before you get married wit him..
good luck~!
2007-05-04 17:19:06 · answer #7 · answered by 144k 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since you've been together for 5 years, it's probably ok. You're already used to each other. I'm sure whatever oddball pet peaves you find you'll get over.
I say go for it.
2007-05-04 17:02:58 · answer #8 · answered by bluvw 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its better to move in together before getting married. because then you learn everything about the person. they can't hide anything. I lived with my DH for 8 years, before being married, and we have been married for 8 yrs now. good luck
2007-05-04 17:03:39 · answer #9 · answered by angela c 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think that u have been 2gether long enough 2 get move in 2gether and its good 2 do b4 u get married cause then u will rele get 2 no the true him..my advice just go 4 it
2007-05-04 17:12:36 · answer #10 · answered by ♥miss nikki♥ 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋